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May 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Like the story so far. really the thing with Hinata and her thoughts about Sakura was just awesome. Love the ideas about the rest of Harem Girls. Tsume is definitely a MILF, 100% behind the idea of her joining the "family". Nice pointing out that no one complains when they are pre-time skip lemons. It is just a fanfic people get over it. Nice using mythology to back up your fem-Kyuubi. Naruto would definitely not judge Sakura becaue of the transformation, it just isn't him. I really liked the way that their friends stayed by them with out really needing to think about it. Keep up the good work and can't wait to read more.
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May 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Okay, this has some interesting plot devices. The transformation jutsu thing was a good idea (one I'm using for a story I'm working on as well).
As for the girls, I think that you should really think about who would be the best for Naruto. As for the girls you have listed...
Kyuubi no Kitsune-Definitely In- I agree, she's a good one to have in this kind of harem, since she knows how the transformation will affect them, she can help them learn how to use the abilities.
Hinata Hyuga-Definitely In- I think the manga has confirmed some things for us all (Inner Me: Cha, take that all you Naru/Saku fans!!!) Plus, she's already cute as hell, just imagine what a fox tail would do for her looks (shivers).
Isaribi-Definitely In- I like that you're giving filler girls a chance.
Moegi-Highly Likely- I'm not sure what I think about this one. Depending on how old Naruto is, she could be a little too young for a story with naughty stuff.
Tsunade-Likely- I don't think you should do her. When it comes to good Kyuubi fics, there's a formula that while overused, it works, and keeps things from being just retarded. This is the much older woman with kinks or the mother figure. Having both Kyuubi and Tsunade as part of a big harem can easily make a fic wierd. He should at least have one of them being a mother type figure to keep his head on straight.
Anko Mitarashi-Likely- To me, Anko just seems like she'd be into something this kinky.
Temari-Likely- Like you said, Naruto helped save her brother on two occasions. Not to mention the fact that I doubt Gaara would trust his sister to any guy but Naruto.
Ino Yaminaka-Possible- Sakura could help her ‘see the light’, but it would add some depth to the story if Naruto didn't have every girl their age.
Shion-Possible- The woman already asked Naruto to be the father of her child, I'd say she's a given.
Ayame Ichiraku-Possible- I think Ayame is more like a big sister to Naruto, so I'd put her with Chouji.
Shizune-Slightly Possible- She's another that seems like a sister figure to Naruto, and her entrance would be based on whether or not you include Tsunade. Someone has to keep Tsunade from getting into trouble, and Shizune is the sacrificial lamb, so if Tsunade is in, then Shizune would have to be around to keep her in line.
I also wouldn't mind seeing Tayuya or Hana (Kiba's sister). Since you're going animal like, then Hana would be a good choice, because she'd be aware of what it's like to have animal instincts given the Inuzuka closeness to their companions.
As for the girls, I think that you should really think about who would be the best for Naruto. As for the girls you have listed...
Kyuubi no Kitsune-Definitely In- I agree, she's a good one to have in this kind of harem, since she knows how the transformation will affect them, she can help them learn how to use the abilities.
Hinata Hyuga-Definitely In- I think the manga has confirmed some things for us all (Inner Me: Cha, take that all you Naru/Saku fans!!!) Plus, she's already cute as hell, just imagine what a fox tail would do for her looks (shivers).
Isaribi-Definitely In- I like that you're giving filler girls a chance.
Moegi-Highly Likely- I'm not sure what I think about this one. Depending on how old Naruto is, she could be a little too young for a story with naughty stuff.
Tsunade-Likely- I don't think you should do her. When it comes to good Kyuubi fics, there's a formula that while overused, it works, and keeps things from being just retarded. This is the much older woman with kinks or the mother figure. Having both Kyuubi and Tsunade as part of a big harem can easily make a fic wierd. He should at least have one of them being a mother type figure to keep his head on straight.
Anko Mitarashi-Likely- To me, Anko just seems like she'd be into something this kinky.
Temari-Likely- Like you said, Naruto helped save her brother on two occasions. Not to mention the fact that I doubt Gaara would trust his sister to any guy but Naruto.
Ino Yaminaka-Possible- Sakura could help her ‘see the light’, but it would add some depth to the story if Naruto didn't have every girl their age.
Shion-Possible- The woman already asked Naruto to be the father of her child, I'd say she's a given.
Ayame Ichiraku-Possible- I think Ayame is more like a big sister to Naruto, so I'd put her with Chouji.
Shizune-Slightly Possible- She's another that seems like a sister figure to Naruto, and her entrance would be based on whether or not you include Tsunade. Someone has to keep Tsunade from getting into trouble, and Shizune is the sacrificial lamb, so if Tsunade is in, then Shizune would have to be around to keep her in line.
I also wouldn't mind seeing Tayuya or Hana (Kiba's sister). Since you're going animal like, then Hana would be a good choice, because she'd be aware of what it's like to have animal instincts given the Inuzuka closeness to their companions.
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May 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Well, another good chapter.
For the girls...
Tayuya-Definitely In- giggity
Ino Yaminaka and Temari-Highly Likely- Look forward to this.
Tsume Inuzuka-Highly likely- Well, I can run with either Tsume or Hana, as long as there is a mention of doggystyle.
Tenten-Highly likely- Given that Tenten has no kekkei genkai, no clan techniques, and is just a skilled kunoichi with hella weapon abilities, there are an unlimited number of things you can do with her. I would say give her something like Lady Deathstrike (had adamantium skeleton and claws that extended from her fingertips) or X-23 (female clone of Wolverine) or something, given her penchant for weapons.
Tsunade-Highly Likely- Reasonable.
Yugito Nii-Likely- Interesting, I'll wait to see how you spin this one.
Sasame Fuuma- Possible- I'd say leave her out.
Kurenai Yuuhi-Slightly possible- I'd say leave her out as well.
Hanabi Hyuga- Out- I know she won't be in the harem, but you could still give her a transformation, kind of like a little sister type thing. This way you can give Hinata one of your demon ideas, and Hanabi the other. Both are too good to do nothing with, so I say why not.
I still say Shion is a good pick.
For the girls...
Tayuya-Definitely In- giggity
Ino Yaminaka and Temari-Highly Likely- Look forward to this.
Tsume Inuzuka-Highly likely- Well, I can run with either Tsume or Hana, as long as there is a mention of doggystyle.
Tenten-Highly likely- Given that Tenten has no kekkei genkai, no clan techniques, and is just a skilled kunoichi with hella weapon abilities, there are an unlimited number of things you can do with her. I would say give her something like Lady Deathstrike (had adamantium skeleton and claws that extended from her fingertips) or X-23 (female clone of Wolverine) or something, given her penchant for weapons.
Tsunade-Highly Likely- Reasonable.
Yugito Nii-Likely- Interesting, I'll wait to see how you spin this one.
Sasame Fuuma- Possible- I'd say leave her out.
Kurenai Yuuhi-Slightly possible- I'd say leave her out as well.
Hanabi Hyuga- Out- I know she won't be in the harem, but you could still give her a transformation, kind of like a little sister type thing. This way you can give Hinata one of your demon ideas, and Hanabi the other. Both are too good to do nothing with, so I say why not.
I still say Shion is a good pick.
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May 4, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I am greatly enjoying this fanfic. I am also liking your idea of having hinata as a Yuki Onna, I think it would really fit her personality well and complement her already displayed abilities. Keep up the good work, I'm really looking forward to the rest of the story.
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May 3, 2009 at 12:00 AM
kudoes on makeing sakura a halfdemon in a non *bite her neck foo* way. also, i agree that she should be foxy, as i have a hard time makeing her an other breed of halfling.
and i think hinata would be great as a yuki onna, and makeing her act like Mizore, cuz she is also a kinda strange salker type girl. (i.e. she wanted to marry a guy she never meet from his writing alone)
great fic so far, and DO ADD MOEGI, she never seems to get any love.
and i think hinata would be great as a yuki onna, and makeing her act like Mizore, cuz she is also a kinda strange salker type girl. (i.e. she wanted to marry a guy she never meet from his writing alone)
great fic so far, and DO ADD MOEGI, she never seems to get any love.
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May 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
ok cool story so far dude (but i do hope next chapter gets a lemon). as for hinata's abilities i too would go for yuki onna but i was thinking maybe a mixture of yuki onna and kitsune? say the yuki onna abilities coming from
her hyuuga side (i'd say that it was a yuki onna who gave her family byakugan or something along those lines)
and kitsune from kyuubi so that way she could use that lightening element in jyuuken and use ice abilities (it'd be cool for her to recreate demonic ice mirrors and you could even get jiriaya to get some of his contacts to go to haku's old ice clansmens home to steal the scrolls on ice manipulation techniques after all they aren't around anymore to use them)
her hyuuga side (i'd say that it was a yuki onna who gave her family byakugan or something along those lines)
and kitsune from kyuubi so that way she could use that lightening element in jyuuken and use ice abilities (it'd be cool for her to recreate demonic ice mirrors and you could even get jiriaya to get some of his contacts to go to haku's old ice clansmens home to steal the scrolls on ice manipulation techniques after all they aren't around anymore to use them)
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April 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
First off during the Konoha 11 meeting It felt weard that Shikamaru and Shino didnt already know this, I mean i know that Shino and Naruto havent worked together alot but Shikamaru would have figured out that Naruto was a Jinkichi(sp) long ago. Hell he wasnt suprised to hear it in the manga he acted like "So? How dose this change anything?" Infact I wouldnt be suprised if Shikau(sp) and Gen/Shibi have a bet of who's son figured it out first!
Second. As for Ino I know that You have plans for Shikamaru but what about Choji? I mean i know you can wright off Neji and Lee as Gay.... Hell you could wright off Sasuke as gay and have Karin ditch him for Sasuke (actualy thats a prity plausable explenation if theory of her being atracted to "Large amounts of chakra" is true), but Choji seems like he and Ino would hit it off.
Also one last thing: Kishi has hinted fairly strongly that Sai would sooner kill Danzo now then work for him
Second. As for Ino I know that You have plans for Shikamaru but what about Choji? I mean i know you can wright off Neji and Lee as Gay.... Hell you could wright off Sasuke as gay and have Karin ditch him for Sasuke (actualy thats a prity plausable explenation if theory of her being atracted to "Large amounts of chakra" is true), but Choji seems like he and Ino would hit it off.
Also one last thing: Kishi has hinted fairly strongly that Sai would sooner kill Danzo now then work for him
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April 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hey man great story I can't wait for the next chapter who you can update it soon as for Naruto's harem like the chosse's you've made but just don't get to carried away with it I have read other Naruto harem fanfic's but after it got beyond a certen point it just started to fall apart I support the women you chosse so far and I think you should add Anko, Tsume, Ino, Temari, and Tenten but hey Its your story and like I said I can't wait for the next chapter update soon...
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April 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I like the sound of her being a yuki onna!
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April 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hmm I like the idea mentioned above with an Arctic Fox for Hinata if she should have Ice natured abilities (which i'm not so sure of, I think Raiton would suit her skills and Jutsus better).
Like I mentioned before a Yuki onna was mostly described as an evil creature. Well sure, Hinata is far from that, but it is hard for me to imagine her as a yuki onna. It don't suit her imo.
As for the other girls/women. Tsume as an Inu hanyou ws obvious. I think Tayuya as an oni would go well too. For the other girls it can be hard to find suitable creatures. An idea from me would be to go with the 4 Celestial Beasts. You know, Suzaku, the pheonix of the south, Seiryu, the blue Dragon of the north, Byakko, the white Tiger of the west (My favorite of these 4 ^^ I love Cats) and finally, Genbu, the black Turtle of the east.
Maybe it helps you.
Thanks for your great work so far.
Like I mentioned before a Yuki onna was mostly described as an evil creature. Well sure, Hinata is far from that, but it is hard for me to imagine her as a yuki onna. It don't suit her imo.
As for the other girls/women. Tsume as an Inu hanyou ws obvious. I think Tayuya as an oni would go well too. For the other girls it can be hard to find suitable creatures. An idea from me would be to go with the 4 Celestial Beasts. You know, Suzaku, the pheonix of the south, Seiryu, the blue Dragon of the north, Byakko, the white Tiger of the west (My favorite of these 4 ^^ I love Cats) and finally, Genbu, the black Turtle of the east.
Maybe it helps you.
Thanks for your great work so far.