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July 26, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I'm going back through past pages that I had never seen and I thought this was funny as heck. I never read crossover fics and didn't realize that's what it was but I found Sasuke's thoughts and his joke hilarious. Hope you get some ideas and write some more :)
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June 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Naruto/Potter crossover stories rarely turn out good. At the start of this, Sasuke is already somewhat OOC.
However, I would be interested in where you decide to go with this. The only other decent N/P crossover that I've read told the story from the Hogwarts perspective and did a really good job at that, although ultimately jumped the shark when the author decided to just pour everyone from Konoha into Hogwarts and lost the focus of the original story.
You have an opportunity here to do something different. It seems its just Naruto and Sasuke on this mission and its kind of interesting that they are going off alone and know next to nothing about the world they are entering into. Will they enter in as Bodyguards or just go undercover as students? (Sasuke's drive for power would definately put him into Slythern, but would Naruto's loyalty land him in Hufflepuff more than his bravery place him in Griffendor?) There are many things to consider. I'm already intrigued by the fact its a Sasuke and Naruto tale that isn't yaoi. (Such a rare thing nowadays.)
I hope you do continue this, if only for the fact that the story could be something original. Think it through. I will agree with you that your writing style is a bit rushed and OOC, but those are just minor points. Just remmember that character development and chemistry between the characters is the most important element in any good story. This is followed by good plot development. Keep that in mind and you'll do alright! :D
However, I would be interested in where you decide to go with this. The only other decent N/P crossover that I've read told the story from the Hogwarts perspective and did a really good job at that, although ultimately jumped the shark when the author decided to just pour everyone from Konoha into Hogwarts and lost the focus of the original story.
You have an opportunity here to do something different. It seems its just Naruto and Sasuke on this mission and its kind of interesting that they are going off alone and know next to nothing about the world they are entering into. Will they enter in as Bodyguards or just go undercover as students? (Sasuke's drive for power would definately put him into Slythern, but would Naruto's loyalty land him in Hufflepuff more than his bravery place him in Griffendor?) There are many things to consider. I'm already intrigued by the fact its a Sasuke and Naruto tale that isn't yaoi. (Such a rare thing nowadays.)
I hope you do continue this, if only for the fact that the story could be something original. Think it through. I will agree with you that your writing style is a bit rushed and OOC, but those are just minor points. Just remmember that character development and chemistry between the characters is the most important element in any good story. This is followed by good plot development. Keep that in mind and you'll do alright! :D
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June 24, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Generally I don't go for crossovers but so far, this isn't half bad. Your writing style is interesting, and I think Sasuke's personality, while somewhat off-beat, is really funny. I'm definitely interested in seeing where this goes. ^^
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June 24, 2009 at 12:00 AM
It's funny. I appreciate funny. So I think you should update. That is if you feel like bothering with it. I mean I don't want you to give in to some wierd kind of online peer pressure or something. Anyway, did you ever read 'People Lie' on FF.net? I read the first 20-30 chapters or so (I really can't remember) before I really started to hate the fic, but in it Sasuke has the funniest obsession with breasts. Like at the strangest times he'll just think 'tits' randomly. I honestly think his obsession with tits was the only reason I read it as long as I did.