schedule
September 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I agree that Sasuke doesn't deserve Naruto. I love Sai and Naruto, especially Naruto under Sai.
I liked the concept of your story, but maybe next time you could have someone give it a quick proofread. You need to work on your punctuation, specifically use of comma's. The lack of them made the story odd in places and little hard to grasp.
Using the sun and clouds as metaphors at the end was brilliant.
I liked the concept of your story, but maybe next time you could have someone give it a quick proofread. You need to work on your punctuation, specifically use of comma's. The lack of them made the story odd in places and little hard to grasp.
Using the sun and clouds as metaphors at the end was brilliant.
schedule
September 10, 2009 at 12:00 AM
short sweet and hot just the way i like my one shots!