AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Playing the Game

by erincthomas

person Veslekua
schedule January 2, 2010 at 12:00 AM
It's sometimes hard to understnd what you're trying to message in your story, by the way you write,
and it sometimes gets a little boring with too little action/happening (you stay monotonus by writing about a single act/scene).
Although I've read all your current chp's, I'm still uncertain what your story really is all about
(yes, I did notice you said in A/N:"It's staring to roll" or something akin to that).
Your spelling is great, thankfully :) Big plus ! And I'm hoping for more KakaSaku :)
I hope I didn't offen you, my intention was to help you along with your story, even if just a little :)


person DR. Jinxers
schedule November 14, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Decent Story. Well thought out, and promising, with lots of room for shit Kishi is just too much of a pussy to throw in.

Also, you're an asshole, because I JUST LOST.

THANKS.
person Emily
schedule October 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
You're going to keep writing right? I mean I think you've got some great ideas and really should keep working on it.