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October 20, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter!
And bring Sasuke's old girlfriend back!
And bring Sasuke's old girlfriend back!
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October 20, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Nay for me but Yami, you are a GODDESS. THis chapter was LUSH.
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October 19, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I'm looping back to review ch 11...
Udon and Konohamaru had a great portrayal of the dumb knuckleheaded plans that teenagers come up with. Seeing Kono so riled up is like a true life reminder of parents instilling hatred into their kids- sometimes a teenager is lucky and sees enough of life where they can make their own decisions and other times they just complete the cycle into bigotry. I wonder if Kono is just a bigot or if he is maybe struggling with his own sexuality.Either way it lead to some pretty funny zingers from Gaara to Udon and Sakura.
Speaking of Sakura I hate that she's right and wrong- I guess it's more of right concept wrong delivery. Learning more about Naruto's fear and using it against him like that was like kicking a puppy...poor Naruto.
I always love your insight and how you put it into your stories. Bee's concern about wanting his relationship to last past sex was head on. A lot of stories jump into the relationship and it's sex sex joy joy love-don't get me wrong that can be great, but you've really grabbed the real life drama in between that all and seeing something that's so relatable come along with the story is a touch that I didn't realize I needed.
Sasuke is written as the best asshole he could possibly be. (oh I mean that in a good way) It's like his source character was already a trip so now that you've exported him into a everyday situation and people are actually getting with him for his smart assery, add in that life itself is just balancing him out (getting caught up with Karin for example) then I can really love that he's kind of a jerk! See, Kishimoto messed up by not letting his crap catch up to him and a lot of fans are crying foul.
I guess finally the last part was a great cliff hanger (and I had to cheat & jump into the next part before reviewing)- I feel for poor Haku, the door incident had me going crazy and I was stuck on if Naruto was going to blow. The whole arousal thing was some good writing :D.
Udon and Konohamaru had a great portrayal of the dumb knuckleheaded plans that teenagers come up with. Seeing Kono so riled up is like a true life reminder of parents instilling hatred into their kids- sometimes a teenager is lucky and sees enough of life where they can make their own decisions and other times they just complete the cycle into bigotry. I wonder if Kono is just a bigot or if he is maybe struggling with his own sexuality.Either way it lead to some pretty funny zingers from Gaara to Udon and Sakura.
Speaking of Sakura I hate that she's right and wrong- I guess it's more of right concept wrong delivery. Learning more about Naruto's fear and using it against him like that was like kicking a puppy...poor Naruto.
I always love your insight and how you put it into your stories. Bee's concern about wanting his relationship to last past sex was head on. A lot of stories jump into the relationship and it's sex sex joy joy love-don't get me wrong that can be great, but you've really grabbed the real life drama in between that all and seeing something that's so relatable come along with the story is a touch that I didn't realize I needed.
Sasuke is written as the best asshole he could possibly be. (oh I mean that in a good way) It's like his source character was already a trip so now that you've exported him into a everyday situation and people are actually getting with him for his smart assery, add in that life itself is just balancing him out (getting caught up with Karin for example) then I can really love that he's kind of a jerk! See, Kishimoto messed up by not letting his crap catch up to him and a lot of fans are crying foul.
I guess finally the last part was a great cliff hanger (and I had to cheat & jump into the next part before reviewing)- I feel for poor Haku, the door incident had me going crazy and I was stuck on if Naruto was going to blow. The whole arousal thing was some good writing :D.
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September 26, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Wow 11 had a big cliff-hanger...but somehow I missed 11 when it 1st came out and 12 was written :D
The action always gets me so pumped up and hyper. I am really excited about what shady connections Sasuke will pull out of his sleeve to save Haku (you seem to really want to kill Haku for being in the wrong place/wrong time...or Gaara from blue balls).
Then again,it's good that Gaara learned more about Bee before they got into a more serious relationship even though the family situation (and I'm stuck on Bee's back story being so creative and orginal-I wonderhow you thought of such a unique background)is so bad because Bee had been so hurt in the past and really wanted things to work out after that happens. I'll always love that at the end of the laughs and the drama that the characters are more real and worry about real life things.
I loved Sasori's slide into regular life AU. I don't really see him in AU's and when I do he's usually just deidara's annoyed boyfriend...but here he was a crazy body hiding Sasuke wanting ball of joy. He just popped out so much as this psycho crazy Gaara cousin. Tenten takes the cake on new dimension-seeing her handle things like she does just brings up so many emotions.
The action always gets me so pumped up and hyper. I am really excited about what shady connections Sasuke will pull out of his sleeve to save Haku (you seem to really want to kill Haku for being in the wrong place/wrong time...or Gaara from blue balls).
Then again,it's good that Gaara learned more about Bee before they got into a more serious relationship even though the family situation (and I'm stuck on Bee's back story being so creative and orginal-I wonderhow you thought of such a unique background)is so bad because Bee had been so hurt in the past and really wanted things to work out after that happens. I'll always love that at the end of the laughs and the drama that the characters are more real and worry about real life things.
I loved Sasori's slide into regular life AU. I don't really see him in AU's and when I do he's usually just deidara's annoyed boyfriend...but here he was a crazy body hiding Sasuke wanting ball of joy. He just popped out so much as this psycho crazy Gaara cousin. Tenten takes the cake on new dimension-seeing her handle things like she does just brings up so many emotions.
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September 22, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Yay new chapter! I love the character development as well as the introduction of Sasori. I think Sasuke needs a little redheaded love at least once. And of course Gaara and Bee have become a favorite pairing of mine though I believe you are the only one writing this pairing. So a cookie to you for making such an amazing update. Can't wait for next time.
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August 28, 2010 at 12:00 AM
WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Haku? Oh my ohmy. I can't wait or more. Please update soon. This is getting insane.
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August 27, 2010 at 12:00 AM
OMG WTF JUST HAPPENED??????? ''O_o''
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August 25, 2010 at 12:00 AM
*screams* You are such a tease. I was so excited that Gaara was finally going to sleep with Bee and yeah....nothing...*sighs but it was so good. Can't wait for your next update!
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July 11, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I was so happy to see another chapter! I squeed bad enough at the update-but the chapter itself was brilliant! You had me laughing at Sasuke who made being on baby life support (lol, that should not be funny) be this high achievement proclaiming how wonderful he was. You almost killed me to tears at how hard I laughed at his horniness, especially when Naruto was like you're going to kill it and he said it hurts so good.
The reason you wrote about Mikato is because you made her such an amazing character with a kick ass back story that you should be allowed dibs on the Naruto manga. I cheered when she said she had a Masters in finite mathematics and to think that was on the tail end of her going on a spree about those crazy socialites. She was so absolutely written that I could see shy Naruto looked up to her-she had this amazing personality and everything and life brought her to a place where it was choking the spirit out of her. I'm really happy that you let her situation get better.
Oh and Naruto! I was so on an emotional ride with him. I don't know how you could write a boy in love at sixteen as well as you did considering that the odds are that you are not one, but Naruto's crush evolved into such a beautiful (if never going to happen) story and I was adored by how much he was moved and romanced at the idea of her yet I also was reduced to embarrassment and flat out teenager-ism when he proposed (granted I also jumped up and slammed my notebook down like I was a teenager getting caught when Sasuke's mom almost caught him jerking and I'm a grown woman). I usually read almost any pairing because the source anime/manga and 90% of fan fiction don't really inspire me to feel much on Naruto in a relationship but I can put this chapter in the percentage that does because you expressed the passion that's present in Naruto's character so well for another person (and I can't believe I was somewhat rooting for Naruto/Mikato...I'm glad you let things down the way you did (I love Mikato for saying at least they'll call me a cougar instead of a pedophile)
I don't have any ideas yet on this universe's shady dealings but I look forward to the ride.
Btw-don't worry about the dash, I even register at different sites with it in different places....I just count it as my randomness.
The reason you wrote about Mikato is because you made her such an amazing character with a kick ass back story that you should be allowed dibs on the Naruto manga. I cheered when she said she had a Masters in finite mathematics and to think that was on the tail end of her going on a spree about those crazy socialites. She was so absolutely written that I could see shy Naruto looked up to her-she had this amazing personality and everything and life brought her to a place where it was choking the spirit out of her. I'm really happy that you let her situation get better.
Oh and Naruto! I was so on an emotional ride with him. I don't know how you could write a boy in love at sixteen as well as you did considering that the odds are that you are not one, but Naruto's crush evolved into such a beautiful (if never going to happen) story and I was adored by how much he was moved and romanced at the idea of her yet I also was reduced to embarrassment and flat out teenager-ism when he proposed (granted I also jumped up and slammed my notebook down like I was a teenager getting caught when Sasuke's mom almost caught him jerking and I'm a grown woman). I usually read almost any pairing because the source anime/manga and 90% of fan fiction don't really inspire me to feel much on Naruto in a relationship but I can put this chapter in the percentage that does because you expressed the passion that's present in Naruto's character so well for another person (and I can't believe I was somewhat rooting for Naruto/Mikato...I'm glad you let things down the way you did (I love Mikato for saying at least they'll call me a cougar instead of a pedophile)
I don't have any ideas yet on this universe's shady dealings but I look forward to the ride.
Btw-don't worry about the dash, I even register at different sites with it in different places....I just count it as my randomness.
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July 6, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I love the MILF thing. That was great. XD And now the plot thickens....oooooooooooo