schedule
January 25, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Thank you! And I truly appreacite you for posting this here!
I missed chapter 3 so this is a double review.
Chapter 3 -
As much as I want to focus on Neji and Shika in this chapter, I find myself drifting to Naruto and Sasuke here, and I guess it is because of the precedent you set with posting the other fics here first. Just with this little window you have given us into their relationship here, the never ending "power struggle" between them is so evident. Yet at the same time, Sasuke's desire to be tamed and loved by his Naruto is to prominent that it's almost burting through the seems just from that little exchange."I'd like to see you try" One can only imagine the ride home in the car that night. And I am sure that Sasuke is going to love every minute of it! And again, the fact that they were able to frazzle Neji, just makes me fall in love with your characterization of him because it shows that Neji is human in this fic because he is capable of emotions other than those on the "extreme" end of the spectrum.
Chapter 4 -
Where do I even begin? I just wanted to print this chapter out, grab a cup of tea, a pen and a highlighter, and get to work with the critiquing. This chapter was just loaded with so much, and I could go on for days because of it! The dynamic that you begin to set up here is multi-layered. On one level you have Shika who wants to submit because he needs to but is still holding on to his control because of something that has gone on his past. And of course Shika's classic case of not being able to let go because he is thinking too much or still in his head. Then on another level, you have Neji, who is clueless as to Shika's state of mind but must establich some sort of dominance but at a slow pace in order to get Shika out of his head. Within those levels, there are more levels dealing with their emotions: both have anxiety, Neji's anger, confusion, and lust at wanting Shika but now only able to "get at" him but so much but not knowing why which leads to more frustration", Shika's confusion in dealing with wanting Neji but not being able to go far because of his past, anger, frustration, etc) And the beauty of it all? It wasn't even about the sex! (I am probably going to say that about a million times throughout this fic) Don't get me wrong, the intimacy was HOT, but that's just it, in my head, it was more about intimacy and breaking down barriers as opposed to just sex. And just look at the positioning you chose for this initial contact - A dominant sexual position - Neji in back giving orders. Yet in such a capacity where Shika could see everything and even "get up" if he needed to. And Shika was in the submissive state - bearing his front and throat (not to equate it to animals, but you get my point!). And again, at the end of this exchnage, you allowed Neji to be human because Shika LEFT him! YEA!
All in all, I am inspired my your talent! There are so many facets to this fic and the depth of this baffles me as I sit and read for a second time. You are truly talented!
I missed chapter 3 so this is a double review.
Chapter 3 -
As much as I want to focus on Neji and Shika in this chapter, I find myself drifting to Naruto and Sasuke here, and I guess it is because of the precedent you set with posting the other fics here first. Just with this little window you have given us into their relationship here, the never ending "power struggle" between them is so evident. Yet at the same time, Sasuke's desire to be tamed and loved by his Naruto is to prominent that it's almost burting through the seems just from that little exchange."I'd like to see you try" One can only imagine the ride home in the car that night. And I am sure that Sasuke is going to love every minute of it! And again, the fact that they were able to frazzle Neji, just makes me fall in love with your characterization of him because it shows that Neji is human in this fic because he is capable of emotions other than those on the "extreme" end of the spectrum.
Chapter 4 -
Where do I even begin? I just wanted to print this chapter out, grab a cup of tea, a pen and a highlighter, and get to work with the critiquing. This chapter was just loaded with so much, and I could go on for days because of it! The dynamic that you begin to set up here is multi-layered. On one level you have Shika who wants to submit because he needs to but is still holding on to his control because of something that has gone on his past. And of course Shika's classic case of not being able to let go because he is thinking too much or still in his head. Then on another level, you have Neji, who is clueless as to Shika's state of mind but must establich some sort of dominance but at a slow pace in order to get Shika out of his head. Within those levels, there are more levels dealing with their emotions: both have anxiety, Neji's anger, confusion, and lust at wanting Shika but now only able to "get at" him but so much but not knowing why which leads to more frustration", Shika's confusion in dealing with wanting Neji but not being able to go far because of his past, anger, frustration, etc) And the beauty of it all? It wasn't even about the sex! (I am probably going to say that about a million times throughout this fic) Don't get me wrong, the intimacy was HOT, but that's just it, in my head, it was more about intimacy and breaking down barriers as opposed to just sex. And just look at the positioning you chose for this initial contact - A dominant sexual position - Neji in back giving orders. Yet in such a capacity where Shika could see everything and even "get up" if he needed to. And Shika was in the submissive state - bearing his front and throat (not to equate it to animals, but you get my point!). And again, at the end of this exchnage, you allowed Neji to be human because Shika LEFT him! YEA!
All in all, I am inspired my your talent! There are so many facets to this fic and the depth of this baffles me as I sit and read for a second time. You are truly talented!
schedule
January 24, 2010 at 12:00 AM
WoW~! So hot; agonizing pace though (luv it).
schedule
January 24, 2010 at 12:00 AM
It's always a pleasure to read about Neji's escapades with Shikamaru.
schedule
January 24, 2010 at 12:00 AM
This is really great story. I like it. I rarely read anything with Shika and Neji but I am really into this story. :)
schedule
January 24, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I like this. I think Neji's pursuit of Shikamaru is somewhat sweet. I can't wait to see what you do with this.
schedule
January 23, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Well, isn't this mysterious.
Quite some was revealed, but there is still much to discover.
Poor Shika, whoever hurt him, left some deep marks.
Can't wait to read more!
Keep writing and update soon again!
By the way, I love Naruto and Sasuke, such horndogs, haha.
Quite some was revealed, but there is still much to discover.
Poor Shika, whoever hurt him, left some deep marks.
Can't wait to read more!
Keep writing and update soon again!
By the way, I love Naruto and Sasuke, such horndogs, haha.
schedule
January 22, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Interesting start. Keep going!
schedule
January 22, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Ohh, interesting!
Hmm, Shika seems so uncomfortable. Maybe he IS hiding something..
He also said “I…know some things, too,” I'm itching to know wha exactly that is..
Hehe, it's so cute how Neji really plans on.. should I say, seduce Shikamaru.
Well, to show him that he really does care about him.
I hope you keep writing and update soon again!
Hmm, Shika seems so uncomfortable. Maybe he IS hiding something..
He also said “I…know some things, too,” I'm itching to know wha exactly that is..
Hehe, it's so cute how Neji really plans on.. should I say, seduce Shikamaru.
Well, to show him that he really does care about him.
I hope you keep writing and update soon again!
schedule
January 22, 2010 at 12:00 AM
ShikaNeji is always amazing.
schedule
January 22, 2010 at 12:00 AM
So, you could not imagine my surprise when I saw that you decided to post this fic here at AFF. I cannot express how excited I am that Undercurrents is HERE!
You are truly a goddess among fanfic writers and I can only truly hope that all who read this story will come to realize that fact as you continue to post chapters to this story.
Now onto the review...
Though I've seen it been done before, I must say that your take on Neji as the pursuer is done with such as freshness because he is not the "arrogant" Hyuuga heir that we usually see. It has taken him two years to finally come to grips with his feelings and build up the courage to confess to Shika. Though subtle in these first two chapters, there is a vulnerability about your Neji that I do find alluring and the fact that Neji Hyuuga; rich and powerful Neji Hyuuga, got down and dirty in a tee-shirt and sneakers. Yes, a small detail, but a new and refreshing one!
I eagerly await the up and coming chapters of this fic!
You are truly a goddess among fanfic writers and I can only truly hope that all who read this story will come to realize that fact as you continue to post chapters to this story.
Now onto the review...
Though I've seen it been done before, I must say that your take on Neji as the pursuer is done with such as freshness because he is not the "arrogant" Hyuuga heir that we usually see. It has taken him two years to finally come to grips with his feelings and build up the courage to confess to Shika. Though subtle in these first two chapters, there is a vulnerability about your Neji that I do find alluring and the fact that Neji Hyuuga; rich and powerful Neji Hyuuga, got down and dirty in a tee-shirt and sneakers. Yes, a small detail, but a new and refreshing one!
I eagerly await the up and coming chapters of this fic!