AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Undercurrents

by Darkprism

person Tarn Vedra 5
schedule March 18, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 22

Beautiful, just beautiful... I am so sad that this story is over... Really extraordinary story, I love it so much. Thank you for your amazing work :)
person qwerty
schedule March 18, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Perfect ending to an awesome story! Great job!
schedule March 17, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Where do I begin?

Honestly, I have been sitting on this review for a long time because I didn't know what to focus on for the past few chapters, but then it finally came to me. And believe me, of all the characterization, plot, and prose to focus on, this surprised the hell out of me. But after reading over chapter 21 a few times, I realized the significance of this one little line in the grand scheme of things. Hmmm, and what is this one little line...

"Fuck that shit, Master! Please, please- No, Master!"

Of all the lines, why does this line jump out at me and place everything into perspective - at least for me. Throughout this fic, Shika has fought with himself and this night, he is finally releasing his control to his Master. He is giving in, which by the way these past few chapters are artfully and beautifully set up with Shika's voice as the back drop or "narration" running the plot. (Reminiscent of the radio show in R&B or should I say R&B is reminiscent of this since this was written first). Anyway, this line seems so out of character for Shika and it seems that the "fight" is at it's climax in that line. He is saying "no" and "yes" in the same line and to his "Master". He could easily stop the scene by saying his safe word.

And the lines that follow - how beautiful, and the fact that Shika remained hard throughout the entire scene. And the innocence and surprise at his own reactions? I was near weeping by the end of the chapter at the intensity of it all. I've previously commented on Neji's humannes, but I think that this line and the actions that follow show Shika's humaness more than any chapters that precede it. Shika is so much more than a wounded genius who needs to get over his past. He is so utterly in love with Neji and it shows through his trust! He is blindfolded and strapped to a table left to "feel" and at the mercy of another man. For once, he is not thinking. He is simply FEELING. And that is why, though vulgar, I find his words both powerful and brutally beautiful!

Shikamaru is simply stunning in his submission!

You have successfully given the reader Shikamaru through Neji's eyes, and I can see why Neji loves him so unconditionally, possessively, violently, and sublimely.
person Carousel
schedule March 13, 2010 at 12:00 AM
The candle wax was a great touch. You did spectacularly as usual. I can't wait to read Shika's punishment.
person cynaga
schedule March 12, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I wait for these chapters. I am never disappointed. Neji has unnatural self control!
person Tyra
schedule March 12, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Ooh, I really like this!
Neji is such a gentle master, but definitely not a pussy. Wicked, should I say.
I loved the scene with the wax and when Neji carved it off of Shika. Phew!
And even though Shika screamed to stop, he didn't use the save words.

Can't wait to see what else Neji has in store for Shikamaru. The punishment especially! Some spanking?
I hope you keep writing and update soon again!
person Tarn Vedra 5
schedule March 12, 2010 at 12:00 AM
OH MY!!!!
schedule March 12, 2010 at 12:00 AM
*raises hand enthusiastically* Can I be punished too?
schedule March 10, 2010 at 12:00 AM
that was the hottest most twisted thing I ever read ... and I loved it :D

I never cared for fetish & stuff but you sure caught my attention & left me up for more ... I almost felt sorry for being a female :s

and seme Neji ... the - oh - so - hot - and - bossy - seme Neji ... I love him

can't wait for the next chapter
person HILDA
schedule March 10, 2010 at 12:00 AM
i love your story even though i never see neji as seme much less dom.
if you like this kind of stories the i bet you love to read enslaving heero it´s a gumdan wing fanfic by akuma
you can find it here http://1x2x1.org/fiction.html