rate_review Reviews

sweat all you want man its a pwp

man i wish you the best of luck with your story and i have only one thing to say no bad writer don't try any more humor but otherwise your not a bad writer i like your style but i seriously hate your story it's nothing personal and i don't hate aprings almost all are fine with me and don't affect wether or not i read a story except when the pairing is hinata with anybody but naruto well mainly when its as a main or somewhat important couple but if its just like a little side thing that you only mentions once in a blue moon its fine but if it is major it just kills the story so i reiterate best of luck with the story nathing against you or you style i actually like your style quite a bit actually and i would love to see more by especially if it's a narucentric story but most anything else by you would be god cept another hina anybody but naru pairing story sorry if i was rambling if you see any problems with my review feel free to contact and tell your grievences

Ok, I've never made a review before in my life, but this time I feel I need to step up. When I started reading I was expecting something crappy, because of the low ratings. But wtf? It's f*ing great! Your writing is just amazaing, and trust me, I'm very unforgiving when it comes to language and grammar and so forth. :) And it's just brilliant how you keep everyone so in character! Just brilliant! *standing ovation* ;D

My point is: You TOTALLY do not deserve the low rating, it must be someone messing with you, massing out one +. Especially sincte there are so many votes, it smells of evil. :( Just ignore it and keep writing, for the love of god, keep writing!!!

And that last chapter was nowhere near bad! I'll even go as far as to say it's the best one so far, I mean... *faints from overheat and blood loss*

*fapfapfap
god this is so hot. keep on writing, PLEASE!

Holy Cow this was absolutely amazing!!! Lucky lucky Hinata. I really love how you made it unbelievably sexy (i feel like the worlds biggest pervert reading this with my in-laws in the room) and still keeping them in character enough that they were still mostly themselves. I can't wait to see who you put her with next, and I love love love how you handled the threesome. SO SEXY!! Don't know if you are planning on it or not, but I would love to see Shikamaru or Gaara thrown in with her. (not necessarily together, but won't complain about that either)

Very nice and well written. The SasuHina bit and the ending in it is very in character.
My only complain is that the sex scene itself between Sasuke and Hinata is a bit short. It could be more detailed and discibtive.
Also love how Sasuke is rubbing it into Naruto's face.
Maybe you could do another SasuHina or SasuHinaKiba chapter but this the boys know Naruto is watching and is Jerking himself off while they have their way with her. So basically make Naruto into a cuckold, who loves to watch Hinata getting taken by other man and getting off on it.
Hinata of course doesn't knows that ;)
Would be awesome if you could do that, and don't forgot to go into more of the details when writing the sex scene.

You know, I actually liked he whole Naruto-chickens-out thing. It made the situation seem more... Real? Anyways, good going on an awesome story. I'd actually like to see Naruto joining that little threesome sometime in the future, though it's your story.

It's a great story! I hope you'll think of something to get Naruto and Hinata together, I know it's awkward because of Hinata's infatuation with Naruto, but you can do it! Hmm, and for other pairings... *cough cough* is it too much to hope Hinata will have some time with another girl? Even though she seems to like a hot, quick, rough sex, it could be nice to have a change once in a while and "torture" her with some slow, kind, gentle erotic foreplay. If you would need to name some girl, it should be either Sakura (I think of her because she did like Sasuke, and maybe still does) or it could be Tenten (with her I would be curious if her "weapon specialization" would bring up some new, interesting toys :) ). Anyway, thanks for a great story, and please, update soon!

Are the chapters connected to each other, or is each chapter supposed to stand alone?

I love both chapters, I espically enjoyed the second chapter. I can't wait for more, as for a pairing suggestions GaaraxHinata or KibaxHinata would be great.