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July 13, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I like! I would love to read more, and you are doing great for a first time! Very interesting story.
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July 4, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Me Like! Me like!!
More please??!!?!?!?!
More please??!!?!?!?!
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June 13, 2010 at 12:00 AM
This looks promising as a story, but I recommend elaborating more, you seem to rush through topics or repeat ideas in the same paragraph, and i noticed several grammar errors and run on sentences. See if you can get someone to proofread your chapters or get a Beta.
But i look forward to future chapters and hope you continue to grow as an author.
But i look forward to future chapters and hope you continue to grow as an author.
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June 12, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I think this is nice.
But Sakura is out of character. I would hope that she would be more considerate.
But Sakura is out of character. I would hope that she would be more considerate.
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June 12, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Looks really promising, I look forward to seeing this AU Naruto...what about the AU Sasuke will he be there as well?
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June 11, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I think it is an ok beginning but it is way to short in length.