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July 5, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Kimmi's job sucks. the sooner he can ditch Oro the better.
You'll do fine Naru. It's not easy leading for hte first time especially when you know the other guy has more experience, but i reckon he'll do fine. He's really got something to fight for here. I don't envy him the job though. it sounds huge.
most interesting. this is quite a diviation from canon. I wonder how the take over will get crunched without them there...
what do u want to bet the two Danzo just called for are going to be naru's accompanying jounin.
anyway. short chappie but an interesting one. you can practically smell the foreboding in the air. ^^
You'll do fine Naru. It's not easy leading for hte first time especially when you know the other guy has more experience, but i reckon he'll do fine. He's really got something to fight for here. I don't envy him the job though. it sounds huge.
most interesting. this is quite a diviation from canon. I wonder how the take over will get crunched without them there...
what do u want to bet the two Danzo just called for are going to be naru's accompanying jounin.
anyway. short chappie but an interesting one. you can practically smell the foreboding in the air. ^^
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July 5, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I like this story so much. It is very inspiring and really good. Thank u for creating it and hope i remember to check on it.
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July 3, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Wonderful, I love how your story veers off from the norm! I hour you update soon!xD
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July 3, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Soooooooo happy to see more of this fic! It's thoroughly awesome. Sorry to hear about the trouble on ff.net.
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July 2, 2012 at 12:00 AM
nice
but, as i am a fan of hiruzen , i would like it very mucgh if the rift betwwen him and naruto could be fixed.
Maybe?
Please?
I would apprice it if you could tell me if you consider / read my request. You dont have to say what you plan to do, only say that you have read and considert it
thx
but, as i am a fan of hiruzen , i would like it very mucgh if the rift betwwen him and naruto could be fixed.
Maybe?
Please?
I would apprice it if you could tell me if you consider / read my request. You dont have to say what you plan to do, only say that you have read and considert it
thx
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May 8, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I read your story for the first time yesterday...and I just couldn't stop reading until i finished all thirteen chapters. Great job!
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April 2, 2012 at 12:00 AM
nice
and it gets better and better
Only i hope, that the relationship of Naruto to the Third will get to be on the same level it once was.
I am a fan of Hiruzen and him having a near grandfatherly affection to Naruto and Naruto seeing him likewise
Please consider it
and it gets better and better
Only i hope, that the relationship of Naruto to the Third will get to be on the same level it once was.
I am a fan of Hiruzen and him having a near grandfatherly affection to Naruto and Naruto seeing him likewise
Please consider it
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April 2, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I've enjoyed reading your story from the beginning and I'm really liking his things are progressing. I can't help but wonder whats going to happen with Gaara and that little eppisode with Sasuke, will it lead to both of them healing a bit or was it just a way of Gaara looking on the last of the Uchiha and decided spur of the moment that helping destroy things looked like fun.
I like that you added neji in and managed to showcase the change in his mindset of "Fate ruling all" without Naruto having to be in the Exams to do it, also the interaction between neji and his uncle. I wouldn't mind seeing a bit more of that, maybe Neji stepping up and telling him how he really feels or Hayashi realising how he's let down not only his daughter but also his nephew, maybe if he comes across Neji sparing with Naruto using ninjutsu and excelling at it.
I personally would like to see Tenten become a part of the Uzumaki clan, through her swearing her alligence to Naruto in a different manner that fealty or him adopting her as a sister or cousin. That could throw in another political side to is showing how Naruto adapts to change within the dynamic of his own family. I'm mainly saying this becauase for some reason thinking of her as tenten no last name rubs me the wrong way, so I'd like to see her with a last name, unless your going to portray her as striking out on her own to prove herself as a strong konoichi, maybe getting specilized training or something from one of the jonin so she can become specilized in her weponds.
Also (almost forgot) I really like how you've done the character of Donzo. I've often seen him as the guy who wants to get naruto to train him as a wepond and degrudges the hokage for not letting him have naruto at a young age or the one who's secretly power crazy and wants control over all of Konoha because he doesn't like the way it's evolved. I would also like to know if you forgot the whole scene with the scrolls? You had an interessting scene where he retrieves 3 scrolls labled Uzumaki and Namikaze, but we havn't heard about them since. I'd understand if he was holding this information till a better time when Naruto is not comfortable in his position as a clan head to tell him more of the truth behind his own past an liniage but the scene seems out of place to me, maybe like it was played a bit to early.
I look forward to reading more as it comes out.
Ps. so you have a beta? I noticed a few grammer/spelling mistakes or places where words were forgotten and was wondering if maybe you were looking for one or if you have one and they just missed a few things. One example is the second meeting with Chiro (the shadow leader who's name escapes me) and it said something about his white smile and his brown face or maybe skin I'm not sure because it skips the nown and just has the adjective before continuing on the sentence.
I like that you added neji in and managed to showcase the change in his mindset of "Fate ruling all" without Naruto having to be in the Exams to do it, also the interaction between neji and his uncle. I wouldn't mind seeing a bit more of that, maybe Neji stepping up and telling him how he really feels or Hayashi realising how he's let down not only his daughter but also his nephew, maybe if he comes across Neji sparing with Naruto using ninjutsu and excelling at it.
I personally would like to see Tenten become a part of the Uzumaki clan, through her swearing her alligence to Naruto in a different manner that fealty or him adopting her as a sister or cousin. That could throw in another political side to is showing how Naruto adapts to change within the dynamic of his own family. I'm mainly saying this becauase for some reason thinking of her as tenten no last name rubs me the wrong way, so I'd like to see her with a last name, unless your going to portray her as striking out on her own to prove herself as a strong konoichi, maybe getting specilized training or something from one of the jonin so she can become specilized in her weponds.
Also (almost forgot) I really like how you've done the character of Donzo. I've often seen him as the guy who wants to get naruto to train him as a wepond and degrudges the hokage for not letting him have naruto at a young age or the one who's secretly power crazy and wants control over all of Konoha because he doesn't like the way it's evolved. I would also like to know if you forgot the whole scene with the scrolls? You had an interessting scene where he retrieves 3 scrolls labled Uzumaki and Namikaze, but we havn't heard about them since. I'd understand if he was holding this information till a better time when Naruto is not comfortable in his position as a clan head to tell him more of the truth behind his own past an liniage but the scene seems out of place to me, maybe like it was played a bit to early.
I look forward to reading more as it comes out.
Ps. so you have a beta? I noticed a few grammer/spelling mistakes or places where words were forgotten and was wondering if maybe you were looking for one or if you have one and they just missed a few things. One example is the second meeting with Chiro (the shadow leader who's name escapes me) and it said something about his white smile and his brown face or maybe skin I'm not sure because it skips the nown and just has the adjective before continuing on the sentence.
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March 24, 2012 at 12:00 AM
You got a very good story going here. It's a bit marred by the typos and stuff, but other than it's a good read. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
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March 20, 2012 at 12:00 AM
damn, this story has seriously progressed since last i checked. do you have mailing list. >>
I wonder what will induce Kimmi to dump snake tongue.
It's good that naru being responsible has gotten keshi and sasu off their arses as well. i'm thinking the third stabbed himself in the hand keeping all his secrets from naru. still, naru is getting quite a collection of pretty boys huh. ^^ are tsunade and gaara going to play more of a roll?
I wonder what will induce Kimmi to dump snake tongue.
It's good that naru being responsible has gotten keshi and sasu off their arses as well. i'm thinking the third stabbed himself in the hand keeping all his secrets from naru. still, naru is getting quite a collection of pretty boys huh. ^^ are tsunade and gaara going to play more of a roll?