schedule
December 2, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I'm curious as to the other 3+ guys you have in mind for Naruto. :)
schedule
December 2, 2010 at 12:00 AM
very nice :3 Naruto really hot!
schedule
December 2, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I like to know who the final pair is before I decide to get involved in a story. (There's certain characters I like, and certain characters I don't, you know?) Specifically mentioning Sasuke in the summary makes it sound like it will be him, which was why I initially clicked on the story, but inside the fic it lists ?/Naruto. So then it WON'T be Sasuke...? If that's the case, then you should probably take his name out of the summary because it's misleading. And also, I have to second the other reviewer: there were a lot of spelling and grammatical errors in this that a beta or a good proofreading would have easily caught. For example:
"He kind of got bore writing his usual stuff. He wanted to try something different, but what the big, breasted woman was asking was totally out of question!"
Should have read:
"He got KIND OF BORED [tense + word order] writing his usual stuff. He wanted to try something different, but what the BIG-BREASTED [punctuation] woman was asking was totally out of question!"
I promise, making your grammar, spelling, and punctuation as good as they can possibly be will get you many more readers than without it.
"He kind of got bore writing his usual stuff. He wanted to try something different, but what the big, breasted woman was asking was totally out of question!"
Should have read:
"He got KIND OF BORED [tense + word order] writing his usual stuff. He wanted to try something different, but what the BIG-BREASTED [punctuation] woman was asking was totally out of question!"
I promise, making your grammar, spelling, and punctuation as good as they can possibly be will get you many more readers than without it.
schedule
December 2, 2010 at 12:00 AM
it's cute that even the delivery bird likes naruto. lol wonder how many ppl would pay to see a wet naruto playing around in the water. -laughs- poor sasuke getting teased like that.
schedule
December 1, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I was just getting into it and it ended *cries* really...I want more...So far some of the grammar needs fixing. like 'forgiven' should be 'forgiving' and 'send Kakashi’s hair to stand up. ' should be, 'made kakashi's hair stand' or set it on edge' and some others.