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rate_review Reviews

for The Bet

by Cin

person cocopower
schedule December 2, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I'm curious as to the other 3+ guys you have in mind for Naruto. :)
person Anon
schedule December 2, 2010 at 12:00 AM
very nice :3 Naruto really hot!
person Jen
schedule December 2, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I like to know who the final pair is before I decide to get involved in a story. (There's certain characters I like, and certain characters I don't, you know?) Specifically mentioning Sasuke in the summary makes it sound like it will be him, which was why I initially clicked on the story, but inside the fic it lists ?/Naruto. So then it WON'T be Sasuke...? If that's the case, then you should probably take his name out of the summary because it's misleading. And also, I have to second the other reviewer: there were a lot of spelling and grammatical errors in this that a beta or a good proofreading would have easily caught. For example:

"He kind of got bore writing his usual stuff. He wanted to try something different, but what the big, breasted woman was asking was totally out of question!"

Should have read:

"He got KIND OF BORED [tense + word order] writing his usual stuff. He wanted to try something different, but what the BIG-BREASTED [punctuation] woman was asking was totally out of question!"

I promise, making your grammar, spelling, and punctuation as good as they can possibly be will get you many more readers than without it.
schedule December 2, 2010 at 12:00 AM
it's cute that even the delivery bird likes naruto. lol wonder how many ppl would pay to see a wet naruto playing around in the water. -laughs- poor sasuke getting teased like that.
schedule December 1, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I was just getting into it and it ended *cries* really...I want more...So far some of the grammar needs fixing. like 'forgiven' should be 'forgiving' and 'send Kakashi’s hair to stand up. ' should be, 'made kakashi's hair stand' or set it on edge' and some others.