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February 18, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Thank you for getting back to the story.
This chapter doesn't seem 'lighter'.. you know, what I don't like about 'PttV' in general is that mysteries and new characters keep coming with no answers at all. Will they tie in somehow?
You should leave some space between different parts of the chapter or put *** or else. These pieces got all mixed up.
Now that I'm reading 8 chapter already I really feel your fanfiction lacks descriptions. No landscapes or interiors, only tiny bits about physical appearance. It's not enough. As a result, everything seems unreal, emotion-less. Ennumeration of events.
It's uncanny how easily the prince let go of mother. Only those who are round him 24\7 anchor him to reality so he dismissed her. Now it seems he needs love and comfort so much that he isn't afraid of behaving so selfishly, like a child. Some post-.. something.. syndrome?
Is Sasuke so really very interested in his brother's personal happiness or is this just a trick to redirect his attention from himself? Or his brother's happiness helps the boy feel safer and more optimistic about his and naruto's future?
An almost-droid & his muse are really cute couple! It's not clear though why Sasori is so enchanted with Deidara: is this mutant special? Why to take samples of him?
It's not clear what this 'Akatsuki' group is all about.. what exactly do they do? As I said, facts and details keep coming and coming.. I guess Sasuke got intrigued by that Uchiha Izuna..
How can they all feel Sasuke's power at a distance? Some radiation, waves or chakura? So, of all Akatsuki, Zetsu is the most sensitive or vulnerable to it? Why?
About the cult of a martyr Sasuke: did Orochimarou really intend to torture and kill the boy in the end? It seemed he used him as a fuck toy and was enjoying the situation.. or this cult wasn't inspired by Orochimarou at all?
Sasuke openly using Sasori and admitting it was reckless. Hacking someone isn't a way to make friends. Is he really that selfish? Like, he wants it - he does\takes it?..
Good luck with the story. Hope it becomes more clear to me :)
This chapter doesn't seem 'lighter'.. you know, what I don't like about 'PttV' in general is that mysteries and new characters keep coming with no answers at all. Will they tie in somehow?
You should leave some space between different parts of the chapter or put *** or else. These pieces got all mixed up.
Now that I'm reading 8 chapter already I really feel your fanfiction lacks descriptions. No landscapes or interiors, only tiny bits about physical appearance. It's not enough. As a result, everything seems unreal, emotion-less. Ennumeration of events.
It's uncanny how easily the prince let go of mother. Only those who are round him 24\7 anchor him to reality so he dismissed her. Now it seems he needs love and comfort so much that he isn't afraid of behaving so selfishly, like a child. Some post-.. something.. syndrome?
Is Sasuke so really very interested in his brother's personal happiness or is this just a trick to redirect his attention from himself? Or his brother's happiness helps the boy feel safer and more optimistic about his and naruto's future?
An almost-droid & his muse are really cute couple! It's not clear though why Sasori is so enchanted with Deidara: is this mutant special? Why to take samples of him?
It's not clear what this 'Akatsuki' group is all about.. what exactly do they do? As I said, facts and details keep coming and coming.. I guess Sasuke got intrigued by that Uchiha Izuna..
How can they all feel Sasuke's power at a distance? Some radiation, waves or chakura? So, of all Akatsuki, Zetsu is the most sensitive or vulnerable to it? Why?
About the cult of a martyr Sasuke: did Orochimarou really intend to torture and kill the boy in the end? It seemed he used him as a fuck toy and was enjoying the situation.. or this cult wasn't inspired by Orochimarou at all?
Sasuke openly using Sasori and admitting it was reckless. Hacking someone isn't a way to make friends. Is he really that selfish? Like, he wants it - he does\takes it?..
Good luck with the story. Hope it becomes more clear to me :)
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February 3, 2012 at 12:00 AM
i just hope whatever is in Sasu isn't like a ticking bomb that's going to go off. they've already been through so much. poor sakura, i hope there's someone out there who will distract her cause she's just getting more and more isolated, which makes a prime conversion target. meeting the akatsuki was fun.
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May 4, 2011 at 12:00 AM
So sad that Lady Mikoto was killed but I happy that Sasuke found out he was loved in the end.
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May 3, 2011 at 12:00 AM
it's a shame about ino... and a REAL shame about Mikoto. Neji and Shika are really sweet together.
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April 30, 2011 at 12:00 AM
love it can not wait for more. do you have a way of notifying readers of your updates?
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March 21, 2011 at 12:00 AM
awesome story.... cant wait to read more.... please hurry and update soon
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March 13, 2011 at 12:00 AM
i like your story. its very origional, and the characters have very defined personality traites.
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February 21, 2011 at 12:00 AM
This story is like super awesome. Good job.
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February 20, 2011 at 12:00 AM
this story is sweet, but you need more cute naru/sasu moments.
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February 20, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Hi there, interesting chapter but I noticed there were still some typos and a lack of descriptions in the surroundings and characters. Hope to see more soon.