rate_review Reviews

I try and read all the prompt fics but, well, I guess the only thing I know about Naruto is there's someone with pink hair - and that probably goes for most anime - so I found this one a little challenging to follow... Was it a love triangle before the guy died? but that's just me. I did feel the emotion of the characters, especially in the last section from cutting off his mask, and the descriptive text was good all through. Minor typo if you wanted to know, "I tired, but I can’t do it" I think is meant to be tried? Spellcheck never gets stuff like that, I think my stories are riddled with it... Purely for the prompt of Ending, I liked all the different endings shown - all the listed people killed in anger, this Akatsuki thing ended, the base ended with bombs, then anther loving kill and a suicide. Really takes the prompt to heart.

Wow, what a painfully vivid story! The details are well crafted and even if I haven't watched the anime, I can still understand enough to sympathise with the main characters. Very well done!

Powerful emotion, even to one not familiar with the source. A rippling wave of death outward.

Oh my, what a sad ending. I don't know the characters, but the agony and grief read through quite well without the backgroun. Well done. Thanks for sharing, PW

Well, a suicide is most definitely an ending. While I would have loved a bit more emotions being explored along with the dialogue, it was still well written and tugged at heart strings!

Unfortunately, this is one case where being a non-fan meant that I couldn't get into the story. I had to re-read it a couple of times to understand the relationships they were talking about (the older brother killing off the rest of his fellow bad guys... I think, etc.). There's usually a way to make sure the context comes before the list of names involved.

This is something I've been guilty of myself, and it's likely that I'll do it again too. It's a tough balance.

Now, for someone up on Naruto this probably was a very good story and a very sad ending, very bittersweet. It's just that for a challenge piece it speaks only to that narrow audience. Perhaps if I'd read up on the plot and characters first, but doing that much research would also hurt the spontaneity and impact.

I give you kudos for it still, and there's nothing bad about your writing here. With some changes to the order of the exposition and a few more hints it would probably easier for non Naruto enthusiasts to appreciate.