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September 15, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Since you've decided to reboot "Bastards and Fangs," I thought I would drop you a line to let you know what I thought of the story before, both what I liked and didn't like, in case it's of any use to you as you rewrite it.
For the most part, I had mixed feelings about it. I was really drawn in by the first two chapters and very much liked the rather simple idea of Naruto the new vampire ending up with Sasuke as his teacher. I thought there was a lot of room in that concept for you to take the characters on different adventures, so to speak. Sometimes Naruto might mess up and get himself (and Sasuke) into trouble, while other times, he might exceed Sasuke's expectations. And of course they would fall in love along the way. I liked the characters as they appeared in the first couple of chapters, with the excitable Naruto basing all his ideas about vampires on bad Hollywood cliches, and with the world-weary Sasuke trying to rein him in. I was looking forward to seeing Sasuke go from feeling like he'd been burdened by having Naruto show up in his life to feeling like the proud teacher as Naruto became stronger. And I was looking forward to watching Naruto gain some appreciation for his stoic teacher.
I wasn't a fan of what came after the first two chapters because I thought things got too complicated with Naruto's mixed parentage, all the conspiracies in vampire society, and the love-for-all-eternity mating ritual. It's not my preference to read stories that contain any sort of "bonding" (because I don't find the concept either plausible or romantic), so that part of the fic would have been lost on me in any event. (In this case, the bonding thing skipped over the process of Naruto developing a real appreciation for Sasuke because his feelings were based on instinct, and because he had to mate or DIE with Sasuke. He was instantly in love with and pining for Sasuke after a week, rather than because Sasuke brought anything good into his life.)
However, setting personal preference aside, I felt that the stuff with the conspiracies and the demon foxes really weighed the story down and took it in a different direction from the one which I'd originally been interested in, namely, watching Naruto learn how to be a vampire. The demonic stuff with Naruto's mixed parentage distracted from the whole concept of Naruto the vampire (and made Naruto overly "special," to boot). Additionally, in order to cope not only with his parentage, but also with the people conspiring against him (AND prove himself a worthy "mate" for Sasuke), Naruto got too awesome too fast in the story (sort of like the hated Bella at the end of "Twilight"). I liked the idea of watching Naruto learning and growing and wished the story hadn't skipped over that part.
I felt like it would have been fine if you'd scaled back the conflict in the story a bit. For example, if Naruto had been up against basic prejudice against him for being a newly turned vampire; however, all the stuff with Minato, Orochimaru, Madara, the demon foxes, etc., was too much. As I said before, to me, the meat of the story was Naruto's adjustment to his new life.
As I said, all of this is just meant as food for thought. I don't want to you take my criticism as a flame in any way. I think the story has a lot of potential and I want to see you develop that potential to its fullest, so that was why I wanted to share what did and didn't work for me. Other readers may have taken the story in different ways, however, these were simply my impressions of it. I look forward to seeing what direction you choose to take the story in this time.
For the most part, I had mixed feelings about it. I was really drawn in by the first two chapters and very much liked the rather simple idea of Naruto the new vampire ending up with Sasuke as his teacher. I thought there was a lot of room in that concept for you to take the characters on different adventures, so to speak. Sometimes Naruto might mess up and get himself (and Sasuke) into trouble, while other times, he might exceed Sasuke's expectations. And of course they would fall in love along the way. I liked the characters as they appeared in the first couple of chapters, with the excitable Naruto basing all his ideas about vampires on bad Hollywood cliches, and with the world-weary Sasuke trying to rein him in. I was looking forward to seeing Sasuke go from feeling like he'd been burdened by having Naruto show up in his life to feeling like the proud teacher as Naruto became stronger. And I was looking forward to watching Naruto gain some appreciation for his stoic teacher.
I wasn't a fan of what came after the first two chapters because I thought things got too complicated with Naruto's mixed parentage, all the conspiracies in vampire society, and the love-for-all-eternity mating ritual. It's not my preference to read stories that contain any sort of "bonding" (because I don't find the concept either plausible or romantic), so that part of the fic would have been lost on me in any event. (In this case, the bonding thing skipped over the process of Naruto developing a real appreciation for Sasuke because his feelings were based on instinct, and because he had to mate or DIE with Sasuke. He was instantly in love with and pining for Sasuke after a week, rather than because Sasuke brought anything good into his life.)
However, setting personal preference aside, I felt that the stuff with the conspiracies and the demon foxes really weighed the story down and took it in a different direction from the one which I'd originally been interested in, namely, watching Naruto learn how to be a vampire. The demonic stuff with Naruto's mixed parentage distracted from the whole concept of Naruto the vampire (and made Naruto overly "special," to boot). Additionally, in order to cope not only with his parentage, but also with the people conspiring against him (AND prove himself a worthy "mate" for Sasuke), Naruto got too awesome too fast in the story (sort of like the hated Bella at the end of "Twilight"). I liked the idea of watching Naruto learning and growing and wished the story hadn't skipped over that part.
I felt like it would have been fine if you'd scaled back the conflict in the story a bit. For example, if Naruto had been up against basic prejudice against him for being a newly turned vampire; however, all the stuff with Minato, Orochimaru, Madara, the demon foxes, etc., was too much. As I said before, to me, the meat of the story was Naruto's adjustment to his new life.
As I said, all of this is just meant as food for thought. I don't want to you take my criticism as a flame in any way. I think the story has a lot of potential and I want to see you develop that potential to its fullest, so that was why I wanted to share what did and didn't work for me. Other readers may have taken the story in different ways, however, these were simply my impressions of it. I look forward to seeing what direction you choose to take the story in this time.
schedule
April 10, 2011 at 12:00 AM
My theory about "Twilight" is that the vampires in it are the result of some freak sexual experiment between Tinkerbel and Dracula. Now I know I'm not the only one who thought something along those lines lol. Love this chapter btw , very funny ^_^
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March 25, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Love it! Can't wait for the next one =)
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March 24, 2011 at 12:00 AM
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! noooo! evil evil! great job, i love it :)
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March 23, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Minato just doesnt make any damn sense. He names Sasori as is Heir even though he is a Homicicdal Maniac. He obviously didnt want him as his heir otherwis he would have named him befor now! And all of this just to get back at Kyuubi? And Sasuke has to be the worlds biggest brat! I would really like to see how he would take it if Naruto just didnt pay him anu attention at all. I know he cant because of the ritual but Sasuke knows why Naruto did what he did and even agrees with it. He just admits that he wouldnt have done it because he is too much of a a prick and doesnt care about anybody or anything. Naruto is too good for him. Everybody knows it ans now people need top start pointing that out to sasuke stuck up behind. Naruto's pedigree is better than Sasuke's.
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March 23, 2011 at 12:00 AM
awesome chapter... it was well worth the wait... i cant wait to read more... please update when you can
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March 23, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Oh my goodness!! He's separating them? that son of a bitch! what the hell is wrong with him? just because he's the demon lord?
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March 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Oh you have no idea how much I love this fic, its totally different from alot of the other vamp fics and although I like em they are not usually my cup of tea, but I am totally liking this one, and loving that Naruto goes for what he wants but is not about to put up with a prissy Sasuke bossing him around, LOVE that, hope to read more soon and I want to thank you for the wonderful read, huggles and smiles Mija...:-)
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February 26, 2011 at 12:00 AM
LOVE IT!!! cant wait for the next chapter!!!
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February 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I love it! Canät wait for the next one. =)