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March 6, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Oh my god I love this!!! Itd be funny to see if sasuke will react the same way to the others as he has sai. Especially kiba who naruto is actually really good friends with. Anyway, its a great story. Keep up the amazing work!
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December 30, 2011 at 12:00 AM
a bit annoying when stories do that. ah well, at least u still have a definite destination still in mind. And best yet, our boys are together. ^^
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August 21, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Haha! I love how Sai is trying so hard to piece it all together. I like that you gave him such an analytical nature. ^.^ Oh man when it clicks it's going to be priceless! Great chapter!
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August 20, 2011 at 12:00 AM
*snickers. poor oblivious Sai.
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August 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM
i just read the whole thing. so sweet! this has to be one of the first stories where i didnt feel like the 'i love you' mid coitus was forced and didnt fit. also like how the moment was 'ruined' with the dobe comment lol adorable :)
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August 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Hey there Moodysavage.
This is Mandy (finally created an account)
Again, you took my breath away though that is nothing new. :)
I love how they are portrayed in your story, very true to their original characters! And goodness with all that teasing it had me tense! Great work with the suspense.
You say there is no plot but I spy with my little eye at the very least an emotional plot. Everything leads up to the moment when they finally... have fun... So don't worry. And besides, some of the best stories start out with no plot, just some typing!
Thank you for writing this story... :) It is amazing.
And sorry I took so long to review again <3
-Mandy xx
This is Mandy (finally created an account)
Again, you took my breath away though that is nothing new. :)
I love how they are portrayed in your story, very true to their original characters! And goodness with all that teasing it had me tense! Great work with the suspense.
You say there is no plot but I spy with my little eye at the very least an emotional plot. Everything leads up to the moment when they finally... have fun... So don't worry. And besides, some of the best stories start out with no plot, just some typing!
Thank you for writing this story... :) It is amazing.
And sorry I took so long to review again <3
-Mandy xx
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August 7, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Yeah! Finally! I love this story but after each chapter i felt like i was just teased. I kept wanting more, more, and more. I still do this was great. Can't wait to see what else you have in store. :)
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August 7, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Hahaha! No need to blush! We all get carried away with one word or another in a lemon. It's a simple truth that even I have to challenge myself with...for some odd reason my repetitive word is 'pleasure' and I even went so far as to buy a dictionary styled thesaurus to broaden my vocabulary, and that has helped a tad >.< though still no other word for the particular story I'm working on has really fit in my opinion...So I'm probably going to post it as is and try to edit it when something comes to me hahaha! But anyways, I say great work! And keep it up, because you say you don't have a full plot, but I find this story sweet and enthralling I would hate to see it end anytime soon!
~Kalyx~
~Kalyx~
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August 6, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Absolutely excellent! Though I detect your doubt from your a/n before the chapter...SO! I have a little challenge should you feel up to it ^.^ Go a few chapters without using the word 'suck' in conjunction with your writing ability...Or any other word to it's demeaning equivalent! MWAHAHAHA!!! Instead find something you like/enjoyed about the end results of your brain genius! And be sure to mention it to us loyal readers in your a/n's I promise you negativity breeds negativity so try turning it around because I meant ever word in my last review!
With that being said, I shall commence with a review of this chapter.
There is one thing I could like to mention. Strictly as a constructive side note. I found the use of the word 'cock' so often to be a little distracting, but with that being said just know that it did not in any way sway my mind about how BRILLIANT I believe this 1'st lemon of yours is!
I was thoroughly entranced start to finish! (no pun intended...but since it is waving it's cheesy head around...I suppose I'll let it slip! Haha! And trust me I'm well aware of how lame my jokes are. But I'm rather addicted to your writing so I suppose it won't be the last one you'll have to endure! ^.~)
I loved that you were very meticulously detailed about the whereabouts of their hands. Many writers underestimate the power that that one detail holds. Somehow hands are cast aside as just simply 'roving' or 'roaming' or some other sensual 'R' word lol! It gave a welcomed clarity to the lemon that made it easy to follow, and offered it a lot of substance!
You took time to give insight from both character perspectives which really spiced up the intensity and the edge to the scene. And an OUTDOOR LEMON!? >.< *points* this is my lemon face! See it!? See it?! It says that was a really great call!
And the fact that this chapter was so long speaks to me as well. Because all too often, those details being left out will cause a lemon chapter to be too short...Or mostly filler with a few paragraphs of 'RrrrRrRRromance' (I suppose this was my attempt at typing the rolling of an 'R' lmao!)
I could sing the praises of your work for far longer, though I suppose I'll cut myself off here for now, just know I will always be honest and constructive.
~Kalyx~
With that being said, I shall commence with a review of this chapter.
There is one thing I could like to mention. Strictly as a constructive side note. I found the use of the word 'cock' so often to be a little distracting, but with that being said just know that it did not in any way sway my mind about how BRILLIANT I believe this 1'st lemon of yours is!
I was thoroughly entranced start to finish! (no pun intended...but since it is waving it's cheesy head around...I suppose I'll let it slip! Haha! And trust me I'm well aware of how lame my jokes are. But I'm rather addicted to your writing so I suppose it won't be the last one you'll have to endure! ^.~)
I loved that you were very meticulously detailed about the whereabouts of their hands. Many writers underestimate the power that that one detail holds. Somehow hands are cast aside as just simply 'roving' or 'roaming' or some other sensual 'R' word lol! It gave a welcomed clarity to the lemon that made it easy to follow, and offered it a lot of substance!
You took time to give insight from both character perspectives which really spiced up the intensity and the edge to the scene. And an OUTDOOR LEMON!? >.< *points* this is my lemon face! See it!? See it?! It says that was a really great call!
And the fact that this chapter was so long speaks to me as well. Because all too often, those details being left out will cause a lemon chapter to be too short...Or mostly filler with a few paragraphs of 'RrrrRrRRromance' (I suppose this was my attempt at typing the rolling of an 'R' lmao!)
I could sing the praises of your work for far longer, though I suppose I'll cut myself off here for now, just know I will always be honest and constructive.
~Kalyx~
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August 6, 2011 at 12:00 AM
[ch 12] Lovely!!! Sexy and very romantic at the same time. The pacing was just right.