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August 28, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I like the story alot though I don't really like the way it ended so abrubtly. It was sweet all the same and I love sweet:)
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June 13, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Adorably fluffy.
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June 6, 2011 at 12:00 AM
That was so sweet!!! Especially the last paragraph!!! I really loved it!!!! See you again in This is not a game!!!!
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June 3, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Awesome as always! I felt so warm and fluffy' but maybe the wine helped that warm feeling along. Looking forward to more works from you. :)
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June 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Absolutely beautiful. Short and sweet.
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May 31, 2011 at 12:00 AM
awwww....just...just... awwwww! I loved it! It was so sweet. A wonderful focused moment that just showed so much how they care about each other. Just perfect!
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May 31, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I thought this was cute. But wow, your husband reads yaoi? I salute him for being an understanding!
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May 31, 2011 at 12:00 AM
We got used to stories concentrating on how both guys overcome obstacles, on how they resolve something between themselves etc. I mean, such stories show them maturing, the dynamics of their relationship.
In your oneshot everything is way too simple. They act as one, they are portrayed as one (not as sasuke and Naruto, but 'they'), it seems they have common will, common goals etc etc I find this unreal or oversimplified. It is also a bit Naruto-centrish story as Sasuke passively receives whatever the guy wants to say or do to him. Here he's so comfortably okay with whatever happens.
As for feelings, romance etc. I don't like the story for the same reasons I don't like your "This Is Not a Game". Shinobis, just like spies, just cannot allow such behavior that you portray. It's just a kind of fairy tale full of hugs, smutlettes, kisses to please readers, not even close to the best stories in Naruto section that show them in everyday life, action, taking decisions.. why not make them - the guys - more real? More like they are in the original? Well, if you don't take your stories seriously, as you wrote once,I have nothing to say.
In your oneshot everything is way too simple. They act as one, they are portrayed as one (not as sasuke and Naruto, but 'they'), it seems they have common will, common goals etc etc I find this unreal or oversimplified. It is also a bit Naruto-centrish story as Sasuke passively receives whatever the guy wants to say or do to him. Here he's so comfortably okay with whatever happens.
As for feelings, romance etc. I don't like the story for the same reasons I don't like your "This Is Not a Game". Shinobis, just like spies, just cannot allow such behavior that you portray. It's just a kind of fairy tale full of hugs, smutlettes, kisses to please readers, not even close to the best stories in Naruto section that show them in everyday life, action, taking decisions.. why not make them - the guys - more real? More like they are in the original? Well, if you don't take your stories seriously, as you wrote once,I have nothing to say.
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May 31, 2011 at 12:00 AM
LOVE IT!! I just loved every bit of it!! This is just so SWEET it hurts your teeth thats how SWEET it is!! ADORABLE!!
I think its just PERFECT!!! I loved each question and each hn for an answer!! Would love to see more of your oneshots!
I think its just PERFECT!!! I loved each question and each hn for an answer!! Would love to see more of your oneshots!
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May 31, 2011 at 12:00 AM
You know the way you had them talking back and forth was so like them completely and naturally. I just enjoyed it so much and could picture them totally. I had a smile on my face reading as the conversation unfolded and could mentally picture each one's expression and body movements. LOVE IT!!