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June 24, 2011 at 12:00 AM
sas, u utter prick.
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June 21, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I liked the idea of two people considering their bonds, love or no love between them.
It's also good that you decided to show both guys' viewpoints in separate chapters.
It's not clear why the night is "the last" one - no one's dying, the battle took place some time ago, they are far away from each other..
If you want to continue, don't lose the feeling Sasuke got fighting Naruto - alive. That means a lot:) esp. among so many differences, emotions, misunderstanding. They were minly focused on what separates them, not on what brings them together and forged their bond.. a potential for more chapters, ne?
I also liked that you showed how unadequate a friend Naruto really was.. and usually he's portrayed as "the best friend ever"..
Thank you.
It's also good that you decided to show both guys' viewpoints in separate chapters.
It's not clear why the night is "the last" one - no one's dying, the battle took place some time ago, they are far away from each other..
If you want to continue, don't lose the feeling Sasuke got fighting Naruto - alive. That means a lot:) esp. among so many differences, emotions, misunderstanding. They were minly focused on what separates them, not on what brings them together and forged their bond.. a potential for more chapters, ne?
I also liked that you showed how unadequate a friend Naruto really was.. and usually he's portrayed as "the best friend ever"..
Thank you.
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June 21, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 3 had an awesome start but the end confused me. Is Naruto actually standing in front of Sasuke or was that some kind of flashback? Please update soon! :]
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June 21, 2011 at 12:00 AM
This is my favorite chapter so far. It's got a fuzzy surreal quality to it that makes me wonder if Naruto is really there or if Sasuke is just remembering and wishful thinking. I like that.
Good introspection from both characters and showing the passage of time as well how they both question their actions more as time goes on. Seems like the climax of the story will be soon and that it will maybe end with Naruto telling Sasuke he forgives him and Sasuke accepts that he wants to go home with Naruto. (yeah yeah... I root for the happy endings :)
Their thoughts often seem to jump around a lot which took getting used to at first but that is exactly how people do think... all over the place so I think that works well. A few spelling errors here and there but nothing that detracts from the story. Keep writing :)
Good introspection from both characters and showing the passage of time as well how they both question their actions more as time goes on. Seems like the climax of the story will be soon and that it will maybe end with Naruto telling Sasuke he forgives him and Sasuke accepts that he wants to go home with Naruto. (yeah yeah... I root for the happy endings :)
Their thoughts often seem to jump around a lot which took getting used to at first but that is exactly how people do think... all over the place so I think that works well. A few spelling errors here and there but nothing that detracts from the story. Keep writing :)
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June 19, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Reading from Sasuke's point of view was super angsty. I like this a lot so far. :] Maybe you can continue with the two of them speculating on what could have been as they get older, then eventually have them meet. <3
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June 16, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I like this. It made me sad. I would like for you to add more on this...perhaps the way Sasuke felt when he left the village and Naruto behind?
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June 16, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Oh Naru. *wants so bad to huggle him.
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June 16, 2011 at 12:00 AM
sad & well written