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August 9, 2016 at 12:00 AM
What?! No...come on I need more chapters. I love this story please update soon. Please please update. I want to see what happens next
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October 16, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I have wanted to read a story written in the 2nd-person. I used to be wary of self-insertion (SI) fics but I couldn't resist when I saw this one. I really enjoy this fic. Not only do I get to be a ninja, working for Akatsuki and rooming with Itachi, but I'm a pretty badass ninja at that. The fire jutsu she used on that Iwa nin was sick.
The only thing I can really say you need to improve on is spelling and grammar. Chapter 3, especially, was full of mistakes, a lot of them I think being careless mistakes that likely could have been fixed with a spell checker. I recommend downloading a free spell checker if your word processor doesn't have one or getting someone you know who is good at spelling to read over your work before you post it. Understand that I am NOT flaming your story. I love it. Otherwise, I wouldn't be trying to help you out. I want more people to read it; that's why I want it to be as perfect as it can be. Self-insertion is a hard sell itself. When you have one done right--yes, like this fan fic--it deserves recognition.
Please keep up the awesome work and I look forward to reading more.
The only thing I can really say you need to improve on is spelling and grammar. Chapter 3, especially, was full of mistakes, a lot of them I think being careless mistakes that likely could have been fixed with a spell checker. I recommend downloading a free spell checker if your word processor doesn't have one or getting someone you know who is good at spelling to read over your work before you post it. Understand that I am NOT flaming your story. I love it. Otherwise, I wouldn't be trying to help you out. I want more people to read it; that's why I want it to be as perfect as it can be. Self-insertion is a hard sell itself. When you have one done right--yes, like this fan fic--it deserves recognition.
Please keep up the awesome work and I look forward to reading more.
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October 15, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Thank u thank u thank u for posting, I've been waiting forever for the next chapter. Thanks :)
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October 13, 2011 at 12:00 AM
aw.
well.
the ending deserved an aw moment.
but yea.
nice chapter.
cant wait for more.
update soon.
~Golden Kitsune~
well.
the ending deserved an aw moment.
but yea.
nice chapter.
cant wait for more.
update soon.
~Golden Kitsune~
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October 11, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I thought u had forgotten about poor us lol love the chapter cant wait!!! hehe
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October 4, 2011 at 12:00 AM
oooh.
i like so far.
i cant wait to see where this goes.
update soon.
~Golden Kitsune~
i like so far.
i cant wait to see where this goes.
update soon.
~Golden Kitsune~
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September 22, 2011 at 12:00 AM
This is pretty good.
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September 19, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I can't wait for the next installment I check periodically please update I'm really liking what you've got so far
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August 22, 2011 at 12:00 AM
*squees* I'm soooo glad you're back! I always love reading your fics; this chapter in particular had me going 'ohshitohshitohshitshitshit!' XD
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July 26, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Yet another great story which needs to be continued lol