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July 10, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Are you still alive? Cause I'm actually curious to see where this story is gonna go, and when Naruto is gonna rescue Kushina!
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June 3, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Great story please update it soon
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May 17, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Are you still writing this or is it abandoned? Kind of still holding out hope of a new chapter.
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May 14, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Continue please great story
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April 4, 2015 at 12:00 AM
are you ever going to make another chapter to this story?
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August 27, 2014 at 12:00 AM
When are you going to update this.
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June 4, 2014 at 12:00 AM
This really needs some more proofreading, that aside the plot progression is extremely abrupt one moment he is betrayed the next he is the evilest mofo of them all, without any buildup and time for his morals to change, there is a difference between wanting revenge and not caring about anyone, because even a revenge driven Naruto would care about how his mother has been a virtual slave for half her life. Instead of trying to free Kushina, as well as punishing all those who used her, he was like; "you rock Dad!" and continued where he left off.
A natural way to slowly change his morals, and it needs to be slow to be believable, would be for him to reload a few times and realize that none of his actions have any consequences, which would be the first steps of his moral entropy, with his views of the world slowly darkening more and more and his actions becoming more extreme with each try. All that is unfortunately skipped, making for a poorer story.
A natural way to slowly change his morals, and it needs to be slow to be believable, would be for him to reload a few times and realize that none of his actions have any consequences, which would be the first steps of his moral entropy, with his views of the world slowly darkening more and more and his actions becoming more extreme with each try. All that is unfortunately skipped, making for a poorer story.
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June 4, 2014 at 12:00 AM
so ive read the story before, or tried to and have just tried again.
its an interesting idea, but i see a few problems with the story.
1: im not reading a story im being told the story, its as if your sitting across from me and telling me about it.
it doesnt feel like i can feel his pain, his anger or anything, im told about it.
2: the idea of it being a game, interesting, but i think you could have had more play with that, but also i think that the starting where Naruto is selecting his options was a bit boring and it felt like it was dragging on.
3: the plot feels a little all over the place, that there is no ultimate goal in mind, that there is no main bad guy to kill or princess to save or hero to kill, that its just him running around messing with things.
not that its a bad thing, but with out an ultimate goal, its kind of empty.
i hope you take another look at your story, improve on it and eventually continue it
its an interesting idea, but i see a few problems with the story.
1: im not reading a story im being told the story, its as if your sitting across from me and telling me about it.
it doesnt feel like i can feel his pain, his anger or anything, im told about it.
2: the idea of it being a game, interesting, but i think you could have had more play with that, but also i think that the starting where Naruto is selecting his options was a bit boring and it felt like it was dragging on.
3: the plot feels a little all over the place, that there is no ultimate goal in mind, that there is no main bad guy to kill or princess to save or hero to kill, that its just him running around messing with things.
not that its a bad thing, but with out an ultimate goal, its kind of empty.
i hope you take another look at your story, improve on it and eventually continue it
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March 13, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Holy shit man that was epic. Can't wait for more.
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January 21, 2014 at 12:00 AM
i think naruto should be kushina's 1st master to her slave seal since he has minato's genetic