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January 15, 2018 at 12:00 AM
I love the way the story is told.
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September 6, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Your pacing is excellent, your spelling and grammar - while not above reproach - are without any outstanding issues, and the story looks promising so far.
About the only issue I have is Naruto screwing up the initial encounter - he shouldn't be pulling a Dumbledore ("Dangerous situationg? Let's get the students out of this one, easily defensible location!"), and he should have put an end to the incursion on the school grounds right there, right then. However, these are only my opinions on the storyline - and opinions are, as you might know, like assholes; everyone's got one, but no one wants to hear about anybody else's.
About the only issue I have is Naruto screwing up the initial encounter - he shouldn't be pulling a Dumbledore ("Dangerous situationg? Let's get the students out of this one, easily defensible location!"), and he should have put an end to the incursion on the school grounds right there, right then. However, these are only my opinions on the storyline - and opinions are, as you might know, like assholes; everyone's got one, but no one wants to hear about anybody else's.
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February 19, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Good)
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July 30, 2012 at 12:00 AM
So far it looks damn promising. I'd read this even without the promise of smut that your pen-name assures me is coming down the line.
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July 28, 2012 at 12:00 AM
This is an amazing story. I look forward to reading more of it. Please continue it.
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July 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
good story