rate_review Reviews

This story is really getting twisted. On the chapter three.

I have to admit that this story was a little disturbing at first, but the story is good and look forward to reading more.

I think I remember the original but if I remember correctly the original didn't have any actual lemons in it which is what I was looking for. So that was kind of a letdown as it was just bondage and S&M which is fine but it gets boring if that's the only thing we see at least to me. So I'm hoping the new version has some lemons in it this time and no I don't count the ending of this as you just glazed over the good part that's the part I wanted to see. Plus if I remember some of the things really go a little too overboard later on as well.

Wow! That was some first chapter. I'm not that familiar with Naruto but this was very well written and kept me on the edge. I look forward to reading more.

Wow... just wow. This story is just simply amazing. I've been reading this over the last few days and all I can say is wow. This story has just the right amount of romance, action, and sex. I totally love it. From the moment Naruto mentioned the idea of bringing TenTen into his family, i've been absolutely dying to see her get brought in and you delivered! It wasnt as dramatic as it was with Ino and im a little disappointed she didnt put up a fight like Sakura and Ino, but I suppose to each their own. I love this and am eagerly awating the next chapter. I created this blasted account just so I could review lol. Do you have any plans of bringing any other kunoichi (sp?) into Naruto's family? Like Temari maybe? Damn shed be hot as Naruto's slave...

~Akai

So good to find a well-written AND hardcore story here :D. You're doing a very good job so far - althrough to be honest, somehow Tenten's training and breaking felt somewhat less exciting than Ino's. Can't quite figure out why though... Maybe because their trainings were for different purposes? You're doing a good job all the way though :). I'm curious about Gaara and Temari's apperence in the story though - is the plan that Temari becomes the next slave, or are they merely there to showcase that they have (or will have) a similar relationship to that of Naruto & his current harem? Looking forward to find out, anyway.

Keep up the good work!

I love the story. one thought if you wanted to bring Hinata in as an equal to Nurato her soul could be merged with the soul of an OC Umbra Witch.

A very long and interesting chapter. It had taken me several hours to read it through, so I say it was worth the wait from the last chapter. :)

Interesting development regarding Naruto's social life. The girls meant well, but I do agree with Jiraiya that they aimed too high for the first time. People like Naruto have to gradually fit in or else they would withdraw even more. Least Naruto knew it was an accident that Sakura pushed him.

Now the ending surprise me. In order for Naruto to get scew with pikes like that, he must have been taken by surprise by shinobi better than him. I understand he's just a genin, but the skills shown in canon, I really can't see Naruto being caught by surprise like that, and even if he was not caught by surprise, he could have easily fought that crowd with his Kage Bushin. So even though I understand the ending was made for the dramatic affect to display Tenten's new side, I really feel it was something that came out of left field IMO. (shrug)

Another thing that bugs me is that the story has no sense of how much time has passed. Given the chapters since Tenten was taken from the Forest of Death during the second exam, I find it hard to believe that only 30 days have passed, and since there was no indication in the story that there was more than 30 days until the third exam, it left me stratching my head that all those events, from Tenten's capture to Tenten having being broken, took place in the spand of less than a month as indicated in canon how much time was given between the second and third exams. All this is just my thoughts and opinions regarding the timeline of the story.

Anyway, nice chapter and so forth. I'm looking forward to reading how Naruto will take being attack and Tenten's confession of love. I so love that Naruto being loved by Sakura, Ino, and Tenten. :)

just how 'intimate' gaara's and temari's relationship is? because I have the feeling that she migth end up as Naruto's slave in the future (i hope it happens)

An interesting chapter showing Tenten's training. I was a bit put off that the rape fantasies can go so far to allow scewering victim's hands into the ground, but I guess that is a likely scenerio in the shinobi world when it comes to rape.

The only thing I found totally out of place in this chapter is the whole conversation between Temari and Naruto. It makes no sense for Temari to come to Naruto and just tell him Gaara's secret, especially given the Chuunin Exams are not even over. Unless this scene is important for future chapters in having Naruto work on opening himself to Gaara and Temari regarding being a Jinchuuriki, I really see the entire converstation was a waste of time with no implications for the overall story.