rate_review Reviews

Great start for a story. I like the basic idea behind it, but I suggest you add more background to why Naruto decided to make this business by taking advantage of the Ichi Ichi movie that Koyuki Kazehana(Land of Snow movie) was supposed to star in. This would allow easy access to a lemon with Koyuki in the future either by way of flashback in the original movie or present time where Koyuki learns of Naruto's new business. I would really appreciate if you could add this at some point.

Moving on, I must request you add Hinata in the next chapter at the earliest. My main reason is because Hinata has a crush on Naruto and if she was to see that her sensei 'stole' Naruto from her by starring in his movies would not only cause Hinata to join in a heartbeat, but also catfight central with Kurenai. Where you go from there is up to you, but I can imagine it turning into a threeway real quick.

Now considering that this story is not only a rape fic, but a slave fic as well, I must ask that you bring Kurotsuchi into the story. The reason for this is because of the long spread hatred that Iwa has towards Minato Namikaze. If you could make Kuro want to participate because she always had a rape fantasy of her being taken by Minato, then I would forever be in your debt. The fact that this is Naruto instead of Minato matters little, but in the end I would love for Kuro to sign her life completely over to Naruto rather then a retainer like Kurenai is currently under.

Something involving Mei as a corrupt politician would be nice. As the Mizukage, she surely might be used to seeing people try to offer bribes or other such means in a way to gain special treatment. Naruto taking advantage of this through blackmail would be the best option given the nature of the fic, later turning into a consensual deal.

Finally, I wonder whether you might have a nurse movie involving Ino and Sakura. If it could also come to include Shizune and Tsunade it would be nice, but I mainly care about Ino out of all the ladies mentioned above.

Thanks for the great story and I do hope to see more soon:)

I feel the story would be much hotter if it had a less 'forced' feel to it. Sure, Kurenai signed the waver, but it still felt like blackmail in a way.

Also, seeing as this is most likely gonna be a PWP, you'll have little room for characterisation, so this'll all have to happen during sex. Kurenai always comes off as cool, calm and composed and I suspect that would translate over to her lovemaking also, no matter how 'retarded' Naruto fucks her. The Kurenai in this chapter read more like how I'd expect Ino to be in bed - mouthy but ultimately submissive.

You may think 'what's the point, it's just porn?' but it's pretty important. If every girl reads the same way as Naruto is doing them, the story will get dull, fast. I am, in particular, referring to the 'caps lock screams' that authors seem to love to have women utter in their throes of passion. For example, Kurenai would read better letter out a silent scream while her body was wracked with spasms. Just an example.

amazing, simply amazing,