rate_review Reviews

loved it, keep up the good work

not baad. but I didnt like the hanabi part. Shes too young.

Everything else was fine though.

I liked it. Honestly, you don't go far enough. I am not talking about situations but the emotions. You need to show how Tsuande is slowly starting to accept her treatment as well as Tsume's horror and eventual love of submission. You need to show the girl's submission and Naruko's domination just a slight bit better. Otherwise, keep up the good work.

10/10 love it, need more.

I think you should tone it down, both in the loli department and the scene with tsume and hana, why, sorry to say this but that WAS an actual torture that was used in teh past.

awesome toilet chapter

not twisted enough

Not really, it's enjoyable as is.

okay, that is one chapter to look fpward to, as well as the reaction that both Hinata (which strikes me that she doesn't know what her girlfriend is up to, but still more than willing to get in the fun (because its ALWAYS the quiet ones))and Ino what they find out what naruko's into, also thank you for adressing the scat thing. as for your question it boils down to what you want from the story: you want a smut fic? then a PWP is more than enough, if you however wnat something beyond that, where there'sa reason to what the character is doing but still sex is teh primary part of the plot (like lemon sage's eroninja) then you need to add something else beyond writting smut, as gratyfing as it is. That being said can you add samui and mei terumi somewhere down the line? and finally for teh challenge you presented in teh first chapter, does a HP fic counts for it?

Hi,

Love the Story, I'm looking forward to the Toilet chapter. Personally I hope you will also branch into incest.

I saw a few people suggesting what fetishes not to do (scat), I think you can whatever you want to. Of course any chapters that go too far in my opinion (snuff, guro) I will make sure to skip, others should do the same.