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July 19, 2013 at 12:00 AM
naruto getting his male friends(kiba/sasuke/and konohamaru) so angry that they decide to seduce his daughter and gangbang her.No idea what you's name her but naruto seems unoriginal enough to name her naruko/kushina/minako(minato but girly get it?) Have her be Shions daugter so she would hire them for a mission i guess?
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July 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
All your work is great but i especially love this fic, please keep it up
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July 9, 2013 at 12:00 AM
As some reviewers pointed, it really looks like the relationship between Hinata and Naruto is seriously lacking both physically and emotionally and that something may be going on between Naruto and Sakura. It's a reason goond enough to not feel bad about the cheating in that particular settling. Also it may give room for some plot.
I really hope you continue, because you have some of the hottest sex scenes ever.
I really hope you continue, because you have some of the hottest sex scenes ever.
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July 7, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Ha! I am loving the outrage by other reviewers at this fic. I am hoping the author ignores all the butthurt going on here and continues this gold mine of a story.
It might be NTR and adultery but this really is a smoking hot lemon story in disguise. You have a girl who is pretty neglected by one of the dumbest protagonists of all time, is seduced thoroughly by said dumbass's best friend, resulting in copious hot steaming sex. There is no rape, no abuse, no emotional distress. This is good old-fashioned consensual lust/affection between two people.
I would not be surprised if Mr. Dumbass's neglect of poor Hinata is due to comprehensive "physical checkups" with the resident medic. That would be an excellent side-story to this work.
The writing is good if a bit flawed, some phrases are awkwardly worded. The plot however is excellent and realistic. I am looking forward to a long story with plenty of "scenarios" between the two lovers before they get caught (if they do).
It might be NTR and adultery but this really is a smoking hot lemon story in disguise. You have a girl who is pretty neglected by one of the dumbest protagonists of all time, is seduced thoroughly by said dumbass's best friend, resulting in copious hot steaming sex. There is no rape, no abuse, no emotional distress. This is good old-fashioned consensual lust/affection between two people.
I would not be surprised if Mr. Dumbass's neglect of poor Hinata is due to comprehensive "physical checkups" with the resident medic. That would be an excellent side-story to this work.
The writing is good if a bit flawed, some phrases are awkwardly worded. The plot however is excellent and realistic. I am looking forward to a long story with plenty of "scenarios" between the two lovers before they get caught (if they do).
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July 7, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Just as hot as the last time!
So Hinata and Naruto don't have sex that often. That's certainly a reason why she'd get seduced so easily. I think if you're going to keep writing this past the third chapter, you should start building in some plot because you can only go so far with a cheating fic before readers start wondering why they're cheating or if they're going to get caught or whatever. If SasuHina were in a normal relationship, you could do a million PWP chapters with them having sex, but cheating automatically creates a conflict in the story that needs to be resolved.
I, personally, like the idea that NaruHina isn't working for Naruto and Hinata both inside of the bedroom and outside of it. Maybe that's why Naruto isn't that good in bed and doesn't want to have sex with her that often because they don't click in some way. I think this would help Sasuke's characterization, especially if he's realized that NaruHina isn't that strong of a pairing, because so far, he looks like an asshole who can only think with his dick since he hasn't spared a thought for Naruto. Naruto is supposed to be his best friend, right? He's messing up the guy code here (bros before hos). But if he's been smart enough to realize Naruto isn't that into Hinata, it gives him an excuse not to feel all that bad about his actions.
Not suggesting you turn this into some big character-based romance fic, but a little more with the characters would make reading a long smutty fic even more enjoyable.
So Hinata and Naruto don't have sex that often. That's certainly a reason why she'd get seduced so easily. I think if you're going to keep writing this past the third chapter, you should start building in some plot because you can only go so far with a cheating fic before readers start wondering why they're cheating or if they're going to get caught or whatever. If SasuHina were in a normal relationship, you could do a million PWP chapters with them having sex, but cheating automatically creates a conflict in the story that needs to be resolved.
I, personally, like the idea that NaruHina isn't working for Naruto and Hinata both inside of the bedroom and outside of it. Maybe that's why Naruto isn't that good in bed and doesn't want to have sex with her that often because they don't click in some way. I think this would help Sasuke's characterization, especially if he's realized that NaruHina isn't that strong of a pairing, because so far, he looks like an asshole who can only think with his dick since he hasn't spared a thought for Naruto. Naruto is supposed to be his best friend, right? He's messing up the guy code here (bros before hos). But if he's been smart enough to realize Naruto isn't that into Hinata, it gives him an excuse not to feel all that bad about his actions.
Not suggesting you turn this into some big character-based romance fic, but a little more with the characters would make reading a long smutty fic even more enjoyable.
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July 5, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Not a SasuHina fan and not even a het fan. But I was curious about this because of the number of reviews and got even more curious with the reviews given so I dared read it. This is hot as hell and I got hooked, considering I prefer slash fics or male/ male romance/ smut fictions. You're writing is impressive, unlike other stories I've browsed through that get so many reviews but the grammar is all over the place and the narration is just horrific and trying too hard. This is good. Ignore the negative reviews just because the story flow and plot doesn't satisfy those readers. Keep going.
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July 4, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Don't listen to the hater. It's a wonderful cheating story.
And Naruto certainly deserves it there, because he's neglecting his GF and prefers fooling around with Sakura.
Anyway I don't like him in canon either, so...thumb up.
And Naruto certainly deserves it there, because he's neglecting his GF and prefers fooling around with Sakura.
Anyway I don't like him in canon either, so...thumb up.
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July 4, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Stunning second chapter to this epic story! Quite the lemons you have going, well balanced with the aspect of the fear of getting caught. All quite the adrenaline rush! Hope to see another chapter soon!
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July 4, 2013 at 12:00 AM
that wrong on many level and if person could trust relationship then that not relationship but friend. with benfit that have faith in girlfriend and best friend. not idiot be trust of her those who hate naruto remember people made him that way do not hate for jairya/kushina your father figure bang your wife that destroy person but this is your story
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July 3, 2013 at 12:00 AM
update one of your good stories kthnx