schedule
June 26, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Your story will become exponentially less interesting the more the subsequent girls act in the same way as the previous one.
Naruto can be a dom all he wants, that's not the issue. The issue is the same one cop13r has with his stories. The females are just weak sluts with no fire and carbon copied personalities. Strong women are attractive. Aggressive (sexually) are attractive. Being coy, cunning, dominant, sensual, erotic or shy. All these traits are important because no two women are the same. Other stories, including this one, will and have lost their spark because of unimaginative narrative and characterisation.
It's also naive to think just because Naruto has a massive cock (which makes anal impossible, especially for first timers, idc what you spin about kunoichi. How pleasurable do you think a baseball bat up your ass would be? That's essentially what's happening) women will be instantly turned on by him. Surprise surprise, not all women like dominant men. Different women are turned on by different things.
If you're just going to have every woman in this story turned on by Naruto being a domineering douche and turning into cockslaves, why should anyone read further? It works as a one-shot (unless you do fifty of them the exact same way *coughcop13rcough*), but I can see Kurotsuchi in the chapter title for the next one. Why should I read it if all that's gonna happen is Naruto comes on strong, shows her his dick, turns her initial fire-ness into subservience before fucking her in ever way possible before moving on?
That already happened. With Samui.
You want my tip on being an infinitely better writer than those other guys? Work hard on making your female leads unique. Trust me, you'll be the best Naruto lemon author on this site if you master that. Varying up the sex wouldn't hurt either. That ties back into being unique. Samui shouldn't have done anal, she has no experience with it and it would be incredibly, unimaginably painfl. A woman down the road in the story who has lots of experience with anal though would be the perfect time to introduce anal play into the shenanigans.
That's just an example.
toodles
Naruto can be a dom all he wants, that's not the issue. The issue is the same one cop13r has with his stories. The females are just weak sluts with no fire and carbon copied personalities. Strong women are attractive. Aggressive (sexually) are attractive. Being coy, cunning, dominant, sensual, erotic or shy. All these traits are important because no two women are the same. Other stories, including this one, will and have lost their spark because of unimaginative narrative and characterisation.
It's also naive to think just because Naruto has a massive cock (which makes anal impossible, especially for first timers, idc what you spin about kunoichi. How pleasurable do you think a baseball bat up your ass would be? That's essentially what's happening) women will be instantly turned on by him. Surprise surprise, not all women like dominant men. Different women are turned on by different things.
If you're just going to have every woman in this story turned on by Naruto being a domineering douche and turning into cockslaves, why should anyone read further? It works as a one-shot (unless you do fifty of them the exact same way *coughcop13rcough*), but I can see Kurotsuchi in the chapter title for the next one. Why should I read it if all that's gonna happen is Naruto comes on strong, shows her his dick, turns her initial fire-ness into subservience before fucking her in ever way possible before moving on?
That already happened. With Samui.
You want my tip on being an infinitely better writer than those other guys? Work hard on making your female leads unique. Trust me, you'll be the best Naruto lemon author on this site if you master that. Varying up the sex wouldn't hurt either. That ties back into being unique. Samui shouldn't have done anal, she has no experience with it and it would be incredibly, unimaginably painfl. A woman down the road in the story who has lots of experience with anal though would be the perfect time to introduce anal play into the shenanigans.
That's just an example.
toodles
schedule
June 26, 2013 at 12:00 AM
May I suggest Sakura (Shes the main student of the Hokage and closely tied enough to get information that most wouldn't be able to get). Karin another Uzumaki and a great Spy against Orochimaru and to keep her ears out for Sasuke. Karui would be great asset as well to help Samui.
schedule
June 26, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Please do Fu next. Partly because it would have been nice for this story to have a followable plotline (In which case Fu should have been this chapter) and it would be nice for a chapter were Naruto finds an equal.
schedule
June 26, 2013 at 12:00 AM
good but maybe before kumo add the other girl from iwa bee summons
schedule
June 26, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Absolutely loved it. more then worth the wait my friend. can't wait for more :)
schedule
June 25, 2013 at 12:00 AM
like the story so far...
and here are some requests and suggestions
requests
hinata
isaribi
yakumo kurama
suggesions
sakura
ino
tenten
yugito nii
guren
kagura (former anbu and attempted apprentice of tsunade)
tsunade
shizune
Suzumebachi
tokiwa
and here are some requests and suggestions
requests
hinata
isaribi
yakumo kurama
suggesions
sakura
ino
tenten
yugito nii
guren
kagura (former anbu and attempted apprentice of tsunade)
tsunade
shizune
Suzumebachi
tokiwa
schedule
June 23, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Put Hanabi Too xD and Story Can Get Interesting if Added Bit more Plot
schedule
June 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Karui and Yugito of Kumo. I believe her name was Ringo 7 Swordsmen member. Unknown when she died but she was dead by the 4th Great War. Sara (although it can be inferred they slept together due to her daughters age and appearance).
Maybe some genderswaped characters. FemSasuke, femAkatsuki, etc.
Maybe some genderswaped characters. FemSasuke, femAkatsuki, etc.
schedule
June 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Hanabi and maybe some sound girls.
I am in agreement with you that Eroinja is better but your story still needs to take credit where credit is due; it is far from a low level story!
I am in agreement with you that Eroinja is better but your story still needs to take credit where credit is due; it is far from a low level story!
schedule
June 16, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Since Naruto just finished Samui you could use her as a plot device to get him set up with Yugito. i.e. "She hears about Yugito being ambushed by Akatsuki and immediately summons Naruto he then goes and rescues her and grateful sex is had all around." Just a thought.
Also what about Kurotsuchi(SP?)? It would be interesting to see how Naruto dominates an Iwa kunoichi. Especially if she possibly has some "forbidden" fantasies regarding the Fourth Hokage. Would be an interesting twist at least.
Also what about Kurotsuchi(SP?)? It would be interesting to see how Naruto dominates an Iwa kunoichi. Especially if she possibly has some "forbidden" fantasies regarding the Fourth Hokage. Would be an interesting twist at least.