rate_review Reviews

The overall story isn't bad, but it feels rather abrupt. I think you should flesh out the story a bit, give the reader some background information before you get to the fucking. My advice for the fucking part of your writing would be read, read, read, and practice, practice, practice. It's rather hurried and stiff at the moment, but it certainly has potential. Oh, and consider getting a beta. They're great and can be a huge help if you're writing in a second language =)

:) that was really yummy and I like your description. I would totally like to read more!

i loved it. Gaara, so naughty.