rate_review Reviews

Great story, though it could be better. Very different from the other stories i read so far....please keep going, ok?

Yes! please continue! I want to know what happens next! Please write some more to this!

Interesting setup. I don't like how Hinata gives up her free will to serve Naruto. It makes her out to be a very weak character...unfortunately, I could see her doing something like that since she's always been obsessed with Naruto and seemed like she has low self-esteem. Hopefully Naruto doesn't abuse his power and become too much of a jerk to her. Will be interesting to see where you take this. On a side note, I think you should do more proofreading. I saw quite a few basic grammatical errors like spelling character names in lowercase letters. You also have a tendency to switch between past and present tense, for example, you would use "He said" in one sentence and then "He says" in the next one. It's good practice to choose one tense and stick to it.

Nice start and looking foward to next update good idea here

Nice chapter update soon cant wait to see naruto and hinata deal with their new lives and see if naruto tries to jump into his master role or take it step by step

Interesting story line. I hope you continue it soon.

buena historia pero no solo hinata also ino deberian ser esclabas

Decent start. Definitely interested to see how this progresses.

I don't think Hinata's dad would go so far as to attack her, and I don't know why Tsunade would question Naruto's character when Hinata said she wanted to be his slave, but otherwise, everyone else seems pretty much in character.

Keep up the good work!

Please please please continue.

Could be fun, I'll have to see