I can appreciate the whole alpha-male dominance thing going on in the Kurenai chapter, but it does come off just a little... rednecky. Like, if we didn't have a scope into Kurenai's head that she actually enjoys being treated that way, Naruto would come off like a wife beater.
"TUNA CASSEROLE? AGAIN!?" *slap*
People really need to chill out. We got flame wars going on about porn. To SniperJoe, really enjoyed these recent chapters. I like when your chapters explore the nature of the setting and characters. I do think the Ino stuff has run its course at least in the case of the Onsen chapters. I'd personally like if you moved on from the onsen specifically, not necessarily away from Ino but from the setting of the onsen itself. I think you do quite a decent job of worldbuilding and I am actually pretty interested in finding out about the political and social ramifications of Naruto essentially breaking the system of your setting. If you write any regular fanfiction, I'd be interested in reading since I think you're a decent writer.
I hate to contribute to the flame war but I will say this, the whole you made Naruto like Sasuke thing is a bad argument. If we're going to talk about OOCness in stories, nearly every smutfic has this, especially if it's an AU like Kage Sexbomb. When it comes to Sasuke specifically, he is portrayed in most porn fics as a suave, smooth, and dominant sexual beast who charms every girl around him. In canon, Sasuke was a withdrawn, serious, and emotionally stunted guy with essentially one friend. He never showed interest in any of the girls around him and after the series concludes, still spends the vast majority of his time alone and barely interacts with anyone not named Naruto.
To BigE, I like your stories but you should probably stop commenting on this because you come across as disingenuous. Onsen 3 and on essentially has the exact same premise as your story The Deal, Sai can't get it up so he has Naruto/Sasuke fuck Ino instead. Your story Naruto's Fetish operates similarly to this, Sasuke is a mega alpha who fucks everyone. The only real difference I would say in terms of quality between you and SniperJoe is your grammar and spelling is a bit better. Other than that, your complaints seem to come from a place of hating the fact that Sasuke is a victim in the story rather than the quality of the story itself.
Finally, to all those complaining about the logical consistency of the story itself, Tsunade 1 and Onsen 3/4 essentially explains the entire premise and why the characters act the way they do. You may not like it and that's fine but don't act like the story doesn't make any sense.
To BigE2955:
Jesus fucking Christ just stfu for real man you’re just some broke ass Sasuke fan boy making money off of Naruto fanfics. Btw I read your fanfic “Naruto’s fetish” and I gotta say that your comment makes you a hypocrite as always. You got a problem with hinata letting naruto bang every kunoichi and even joins in and yet you don’t have a problem when your boyfriend sasuke is fucking other girls along with Sakura. Even in your story you have hinata fucking sasuke while still married to naruto and she tells him she still loves naruto but her body belongs to Sasuke
just stfu like I said last time if sasuke was the main character you would’ve already fapped to it
You know, for a writer of hardcore sexy times, you’ve got a real knack for writing really sweet and genuine character moments. I saw a lot of it in your Hinata chapters, and I’m seeing it a lot here too. Much kudos on your writing ability.
Youre having the interaction with Kurenai much sooner than I expected you would, but she does technically offer something much different than the other girls so far. And seeing Naruto being blunt and bullheaded, but actually focusing it this way really helps show hisgrowing talents towards being a leader.
Super surpised to see a new chapter, but not at all unwelcome.
You should check out HF at some point. I can think of a few fics in those fandoms that would probably be right up your ally.
still waitting on
Sarada Uchiha
Tenten
Temari
Moegi Kazamatsuri
Samui
Ayame
Hana Inuzuka
Mabui
Mebuki Haruno
but great as always
Kurenai isn't who I was hoping for - still waiting on more Tsunade - but I'm intrigued to see where you're going with this.
Fuck You bige no seriously Fuck YOU notice nobody not even me went back to critisizing your sasuke sucking fanfic works anymore most of the people who hate your works ignore you so why do you have to stick your face where it dosen't belong just go back to your sasuke worshipping naruto hating fics and leave us in peace please we left you alone in your sasuke fantasy world leave us in ours please and thanks don't need your type of reviews.
Man I had to make a new account just to review this, and I just want to day I love the build up in this chapter
How will Kurenai handle having sex with Naruto while she's pregnant? Will he be more gentle with her or will he be rough enough to effect the baby? Also, I like the more subtle forms of male dominance that Naruto aasserts over her in this chapter.
Well, seeing that for some reason you’re being bombarded with troll reviews because you bashed Sasuke or something, how about an actual one?
This chapter isn’t my favorite, but it’s still well written and a good continuation of this particular storyline. I do appreciate that Naruto realizes he fucked up there with the love thing, even though I can recognize why it happened in the heat of the moment. I’m going to guess that a bit later one he realizes he kinda threw one of his friends under the bus there, even if they made this agreement in the first place.
Your love for Ino really shows in the chapters you right about her, they seem like they have a bit more thought put into them. Not that I’m saying you’re other chapters don’t, far from it. Just that I can see your enjoyment in writing Ino stuff.
Looking forward to see what follows, my favorite chapters have easily been the him and Hinata ones(just because of the way you see him interact with Hinata that’s different from the others) as well as that no-porn chapter simply because it was an interesting look into this version of Naruto’s world. Which AGAIN, certain people seem to ignore the rules you set up for the world just to flame you. But it’s their lives, I guess. I do enjoy the petplay stuff that’s in the Inazuka chapters too loved to see some more of that
If you don’t mind me asking, what other fandoms are you interested in writing stories for? I know you mentioned Eva, but are there any others you’ve had ideas for?
Justwanted to make sure you got some actual reviews in here while the whole flaming is going on. Have a good one!