Already an update?! And a good one nonetheless?! ;-)
This chapter was great, my only sugestion to improve would be to write many many more chapters of this caliber. 10 chapters a day! :-D
The solution with Naruko was perfekt it seems completely naturel and the interaction afterwards was hot. It leaves one with the desire for more so I am looking forward to your next update. I am especially curios to see how Naruto is going to mess around, now that he is unleashed to the world (Konoha).
Keep up the fantastic work!
Do you accept the challenge .
Jak mo¿na pisaæ do mnie na konto:
https://twitter.com/Belial0216
interesting story
interesting sotry looking forward to the next chapter
I registered to this site only to give you a review. :-D
Great story! This "Do what you want" MindControl settings are my absolut favorit. Your story reminds me a little bit of a Doushinji called "King App".
I was happy to see that your writting style is good too since unfortunately a lot of interesting fictions lack in this matter.
Here my sugestions to improve this great story (Just my opinion, I hope it doesn't appear too demanding / rude) ;-)
- Please take your time. The way you described the gropping was fantastic but a bit fast paced. I would go so far as to say it would have been better (for me) when there wasn't any sex scene so that Naruto just continued gropping her. In the next chapters he would go step by step further.
- Please don't jump from sex scene to sex scene. Naruto has a power everyone is dreaming of so it would be great if he would play with it a bit . Not just "OK let's Fuck" but more subtle like ordering a woman to bent down more while cleaning to stare blantly at her cleavage...or something like that, I hope you get what I mean.^^ I guess the person disturbing them is his sister so like I said it would be better if she is not going to instant fuck with Naruto and his mother.
- Please stay with Naruto using his power to get him laid. I think it would be boring when suddenly Kushina gets addicted to his cock and tries to fuck as much as possible. For me it would be better if he is always using his power to have some fun (and like I wrote above play with it beforehand)
-Please let the people remain acting normal. This goes hand in hand with my prior suggestion. The hottest scene was Kushina trying to do paperwork while Naruto groping her and she acting like nothing happens. Naruto and Kushina had sex so I would like to see her to act like nothing special happened and going on normal.
Please don't get me wrong! Your story is absolutely great! This is why I want it to go the right way, but this is just my opinion! Please update soon!
Best regards
As a fan and writer of Shota Naruto, I give this an official thumbs up.
If you want the other thumb, then make sure to add Hinata. ;)