Good concept but you have 3 chapters that are unimportant to the protagonist. Keep the story consistent by following the protagonist and then introduce each new character when interacting with the protagonist for the first time. The 1st chapter is a good prologue but chapter 2 is unnecessary and the third is jumbled, doesn't make sense.
did this guy just make an overpowered Gary-Stue(sp?)?! >:(
Yes he did James
What the fuck did any of this have to do with Naruto? I'm not even meaning trying to be an asshole, I'm dead serious in asking?
Jimmy my boy this has absolutely nothing to do with naruto save for said character's name being mentioned and maybe the fact that this "Tobias" fellow is related to tsunade in some way with every power under the fucking sun I hope this review has helped at all
Really? You're not posting the full chapter in another one of your stories again?!
Don't even post this if you haven't wrote the whole chapter for this yet!
Just stop
This still sucks