I don't like One Piece enough to get super invested into Robin, so it was good but not great you know? But it does make me wonder about the Remaster. In the original all these girls pop up with no explanation ever given, and while Traveler links it to the Rinnegan that only provides a bridge to travel back and forth rather than explain why it started in the first place. Is it going to continue to be a deus ex machina or will it get studied more closely?
Again, saw potential even if I don't really care for Tsume and Hana. I think that as part of the Grand Project yoy might consider fleshing out the various girls not only in terms of plot and fashion (different piercings and pubic hair styles) but fetishes. Hana here seems to peripherally suggest a sort of animal mind set. A desire to be claimed by the alpha that you could probably explore more deeply in the remaster.
Needs moar breeding
Meme aside this chapter made me think it does, but in a different way. This isn't the first time Sasuke has agreed to get one of the girls pregnant. But it's the first time I saw him react with glee rather than shock. And perhaps that's something that should be explored. While I've expressed the thought that a girl seeking out pregnancy marks the zenith of her arc (looking at you Tsunade) I'm thinking it should also become part of Sasuke's arc. What if instead of him simply accepting a pregnancy request he seeks it out? Sasuke can develop a taste for it like he developed a taste for building a harem in general. What if at some point he's the one that simply tells a girl to stop taking birth control, and then convinces her through dominant dirty talk to do it?
Everything is coming up Shion. This chapter made me miss Mei. It's been a while since she got some loving. But that's a consequence of a mass harem and not really something that can be fixed. I suppose you could constantly rotate girls so the early ones keep appearing but that means the plot is either padded with random encounters or the plot itself is like 15 different mini plots put together.
Gg Kurotsuchi. I have to say though it felt a bit underwhelming this time. You firmly established a dirty talk mechanic before that was absent in this encounter. I'd expect Sasuke to mock her for being such a whore thay she abuses the power of her office so she can get fucked by a big dick in the place the heroes of her village once ruled it. Just something to keep in mind for the remaster I guess.
Kurenai deserves to be BROKEN. Only then will she be able to understand the GLORY that is Sasuke's harem. Kek.
Seriously though, you have a point when you said that she needed to be. Konan, Haku, and Kurenai are all examples of women with a strong previous committment to some other man. In order to get past that and not be constantly competiting with a dead man for their devotion then Sasuke does in some way need to break them. This took place slowly for Konan in the original and I don't think at all for Haku (since I think Sasuke 'let' her keep her old loyalty), and pretty quickly here for Kurenai.
I'm thinking that you could use it to showcase Sasuke's own comparative corruption though. I mean, he's falling into being a sex addict and then hopefully at some point into actually wanting to go out and conquer new women (which sets you up for TLT if you want to keep going). And hopefully at some point he develops into wanting to get girls pregnant out of his own desire rather than just accepting their requests.
So why not have his ego balloon with his experience? This could actually properly set up the Issei destruction arc if you decide to write it and have TLT retconned to follow the Remaster rather than the original. In the case of this chapter, it would be a response to Sasuke's part on Kurenai's loyalty to Asuma and her insistence on thinking of another man while he's fucking her.
Just have his ego go into top gear. He talks dirty to her, forces her to admit that he's the one fucking her brains out. And then makes his outright claim. "And after tonight, the only other thing that will touch this pussy will be my children when you're birthing them." I liked this line especially I feel like you can play it more.
Maybe this is the point where Sasuke not only likes girls getting pregnant but actually pushes it. He doesn't strictly force her but he does tell her to get up and go throw her birth control pills away. Maybe even does a jutsu he borrowed from Sakura to 'get rid' of the birth control pills Kurenai has already taken. He could present it as a choice she makes, where either he'll get up and leave or she'll do that and then come ride his cock because he's not going to service her needs while she's thinking of someone else. And since she's half broken already this breaks Kurenai entirely, which can lead to an interesting conversation during that sex. Maybe Sasuke at some point mocks her and wonders if Mirai will be in the exact same place in twenty years, bouncing on his cock and begging to be impregnated.
My thoughts, they be dark.
This chapter actually reminded me of the sequel. I found that in The Lone Traveler so far Robin has been the real MVP. She was very well-characterized compared to some of the other girls and she had a lot more agency. It was just interesting to read her. And in the original she doesn't really have the necessary development. It's a disappointment I suppose. Even though I'm not too hot on One Piece I still remember what she was in TLT and hope that the Remaster can raise her to that point.
A couple of thoughts this chapter raised.
First that while I understand how the Tsunami thing could be very conductive to properly breaking a woman in a sort of 'one chapter plot arc', I feel like it would be better suited for someone like Anko. I'm not opposed to Sasuke taking up a sex challenge and having broken her by the end of it, just that I think such a thing is better suited to the more seductive and assertive women like Anko, or Mei, or even Temari.
Secondly while I can see Sasuke being mad that one of the harem went and decided on their own to get pregnant, at this point he's gotten enough girls knocked up that he can't be opposed in principle to Samui just being pregnant. So I'd think he'd have his ego prickled if he had developed to the point of craving control and immediately start planning ways to 'punish' her rather than needing time alone.
I also think that maybe it's an arc better suited to a different girl. Not because I think Samui necessarily would never do this sort of thing, but because the Kumo girls and Samui especially are very prominent compared to everyone else. You could shift that plotline to someone like Ino or Gina to make it more properly balanced. Or even Mei, since a baby craze seems more in character given her desire for marriage - it might be that she wants to get married so badly and accepted that Sasuke isn't going to settle down with her, so she moves onto the next part of their 'relationship' without telling him.
Karui laying down wisdom, chu cha.
Like I said before, I don't really like her but you have a way of writing even the girls I don't care for in interesting ways. Even though the Kumo arc just finished in the Remaster I'm hoping she gets more weight when you come back around to a new arc with them. It's always been pretty heavily tilted towards Samui with Mabui getting a helping and Karui mostly as an afterthought.
aYYY Erza.
This actually brings up a problem of pacing. In the original we just tended to proceed from girl to girl, giving them mostly discreet arcs, and then it just ended. I think Erza is probably the last proper girl to get a story arc, minus a few 'bonuses' like Kushina slipped in at the end there. I think that you might want to avoid this in the Remaster.
What I mean is that the ending feels abrupt, you know? Like we just transition suddenly from the journey to the epilogue with very little padding. It would be helpful with pacing if you introduced a final arc before the epilogue, centered primarily on Sasuke deciding to settle down and settle into a marriage with all the various girls. He'd have to decide where to live, to propose to all of them, the rules of the marriage, and so forth. It would probably be a bit overtly legalistic to work through but I imagine it would help tie up the loose ends of the story and give it a satisfying conclusion.