Shorter stuff here.
I did think going through it that I don't really like how you handled Erza in the original. You retconned it in the sequel so that she's not a totally mindbroken fucksleeve, but even then I feel like eh. I think it's one thing to break a girl into loving you. There's a stockholm syndrome element that can justify it, especially when Sasuke gets quite forceful about it.
But I don't think that should necessarily be the same thing as just indiscriminately craving cock every hour of every day. At that point it seems less like a break to love and just a total mental destruction. Erza here isn't Sasuke's love slave, but just a piece of equipment or a pet that he keeps alive by feeding cum. Individuality is lost in that case and it seems a bit boring.
There's not a whole lot to say about this chapter that I haven't already said before.
I'll reiterate the need for a proper Kushina arc.
I'll raise again the point that it would be better if there was a discreet 'ending' arc centered around Sasuke concluding his travels and settling the final arrangements with all his various love slaves.
And again, I need more dere Tsuna-chan. While she's not a top tier waifu for me I've always gotten a strong sense of resentment on her part in all their interactions. It feels very out of place compared to most of the other girls who proceeded to obvious affection.
One thing I've always appreciated is that it isn't strictly formulaic. Some authors always just go oral > vaginal > anal like it's a cosmic order. Good to see we follow that here.
As always, I find something new to think about upon re-reading. I thought that Sakura showing Sasuke the cum in her mouth was nice. It reminded me of the Rias orc dick story in that it touches on the filthier side of sex. Would like to see more of this angle in future work.
The nostalgia is real. Something the I thought of reading this is that you can go 'deeper'. I'll keep it in mind myself when writing smut, to not only write what's happening but also paint what's happening. It's one thing to know Sasuke is eating out her snatch, it's another to know that her juice tastes like so and that Sasuke flicked her clit with his tongue in between tracing her labia.
As usual, a good read. I really didn't care for her but I've been slowly developing a taste for Karui through your smut.
Slurping up dat precum was exactly the sort of filth I was looking for. We must go deeper.
I think in the future I'd cut back on the orgasms. I noticed it when reading the Karin scene that she has them so often and with so little detail that they seem cheap. I know Sasuke is a sex god but I think readers would rather see two decently detailed orgasms from Karin than an offhand note she had five of them.
Something I found very original in this fic was how you wrote Kiri. I just noticed it as a throwaway but you made it beautiful. Everyone always turns it into this gloomy shithole where the sun never shines and where it's mist amd poverty everywhere.
But where I was expecting a dystopia you gave me Venice. Canoes and colours and canals. If I ever write a Kiri scene in one of my fics I'll try to remember to use that. Ace m8 8/8.
Mei is Mei, always a hot little piece of candy. I'll be glad to come back around for the later loop. I always feel a bit teased since I'm always left wanting more of best girls. But there's little that can be done about that since it wouldn't be much of a harem fic if it was just ten chapters straight of Mei.
Reading this Konan scene actually gave me ideas for the rewrite. One thing I think rarely gets enough play is just how *alternative* she is, in the fashion sense. If there was ANYONE that would have a pierced belly button or pierced nipples or a pierced clit or pierced tongue it would be her. Going forward maybe you can throw some of those in the description of her and even give them some play in the smut.
I myself have thought deeply on which girls wear what kind of panties and how they shave (if at all) their nether regions. Just keeping in mind and noting those small details adds lotsa flavor.