I really enjoy the concept of the story and your writing. I need more and soon!
I like this story, love what you did with Tsume, I hope shes the first one he imprgnants and he gets some more older women
Well, frankly speaking this wasn't anything great. But you yourself pointed out in the reviews that this is porn to a certain extent and that would explain the overall plot of it. I've read far worse stuff, stuff that made me wretch when reading. Compared to that, your story is pretty good and not that badly written either.
Naruto while a bit OOC still feels like someone who is Naruto, and no not just because you inserted his catchphrase. Ideals shape a man and given the fact that he was trained by Kakashi, Danzo and later Sarutobi (how much of an extent to we don't know), he must've been like a sponge and took all their thoughts into consideration before making his own path. That much is very clear and there are some highly interesting parts in your story. The 'The things I do for peace.' part stood out very well and gives a deeper insight into his mind.
You seem to be constantly trying to make your prose flow better, and in some parts it works...other parts, not so much. My main issue rose from the smut part. It's not that good, but like I said I've read far worse and this was okay. When reading the whole thing again, the parts without the porn seemed to flow better and I can only venture a guess that you really don't have much experience in writing smut. Pretty sure you'll get there one day.
Oh well, update soon and let's see what else you have in store.
you should also post it on Fanfiction.net
More people would be able to read it because frankly, i like it. Too many cuck Naruto fics on this site so imagine my surprise when i found this story.
I thank you for taking my challenge it was a great first chapter can't wait to see what else happens
Good chapter bro
Interesting story
Awesome chapter
can’t wait for more
Please tell me the dxd crossover is not the usual BS of Naruto being a harem stealer!!!
very good chapter finally something decent around here after so much garbage yaoi and sasuke harem. I hope the continuation soon