really a good story so far - please update asap
Great chapter
This was ok but I would say chapter 1 is a lot better. And Sasuke is contradicting himself. One minute Sasuke tells Naruto he does not want Karin around and the next he is fucking Karin. But hey i should not expect much plot from a harem story. Apart from Sasuke being slightly out of character there is at least no grammar errors. Mediocre i would say. Do work on a Naruto story. Good luck.
I felt that chapter one was far better. It was refreshing that Karin had control and Sasuke was uncertaiuncertaine but gave into lust. Chapter two had a boring cheesy porno feel it kinda let me down. the chapter was long which is always better but it lacked some proper erotic action and dialogue . Maybe next one will be better ?
why you no respond to us ...
Love it! xD
Now, where do we start this summarized lecture of text?
The characters used in this story were interesting by themselves, yet still felt like they belonged in the Naruto universe. Their personalities were similar, if not nearly identical, to their original concepts and this was further highlighted by particular antics that appeared when they were expected the least.
Moving onto a more spicy topic, using a highly concentrated aphrodisiac of some kind was an interesting twist, and with Karin's personality and knowledge, a scenario was created wherein the two of them were left alone with no possible witnesses nearby.
Their sexual encounters, however short, gave me quite a vivid idea as to what was happening. Although, the story did feel a little drawn out by the end; almost bringing with it the urge to skip past certain points.
Your descriptions of the characters are alright, though they almost demand that the reader is familiar with the characters before starting. Adding in a generalized description of the "main" characters involved might be worth looking into in the future. Although. let it be said that every background character does not need a description.
One extra detail that served as the icing on the cake was Sasuke's interaction with Kakashi, an older teacher with more experience and almost a frightening ability to make jokes about reality without knowing so himself. Unless that were to work as a reference to the way he spied on the original Team 7 before their meeting.
Overall, this is very well written, with no noteworthy grammatical flaws, and you show a clear understanding of how to make a character seem like a living being. I'm greatly anticipating the following chapters, if only just to see who leads the new academical revolution.
Oh my! It seems as if Sasuke-sensei is in way over his head.
I like the way you portray his conflicting emotions. It adds a lot to the story.
Can’t wait to see what happens next and who else wants “extra credit”. Will Sasuke get caught? So many possibilities...
Really super cool new fic ,gona keep a close eye on it. Lust love and friendship next please ,its my fav.