AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for To Be Hokage

by MrVectorPath

person Sessakag
schedule January 8, 2024 at 12:00 AM

Hello, I want to inform you that someone has taken your work, uploaded it to their Patreon account and is making money off of it. They did the same to my own work Secrets of the Hidden Leaf, and while reporting their page for it, I saw your work up there too. If you did not give them permission, please send a DMCA report through patreon if you wish. https://www.patreon.com/WhatIfFanfics

I posted the link to their page in this review, but I don't know if it will display in this review, so if it is not there, their patreon name is What If Fanfics. 

 

person TzeroVon
schedule September 2, 2022 at 12:00 AM

It's good to see that in this story something finally happens, the sex scene has the same problem as in your other fanfic, it was dull and boring to read despite being a short scene.

But I will assume that you did it on purpose because it was the "start" of the NTR, I really hope that your erotic writing "evolves", I know it may seem annoying that I repeat the same thing so much but believe me it will improve your story a lot, still you are free to ignore this advice XD.

The subplots of Minato and the others are uninteresting, when I get to those parts I just want to skip them and move on to something else, they may "add" important things to the plot but they are super cumbersome to read.

With that said, this is still a good story, it's not the best Naruto NTR fanfic I've read, but it's better than the ones that have been coming out lately.

schedule September 2, 2022 at 12:00 AM

thank you for the lemon, still waiting for the jiraiya or sandaime scene :D

person Dude
schedule September 1, 2022 at 12:00 AM

YES!! Let's go! Fucking finally we get to see anything of substance. I still don't care about Mikoto, Minato and Hiruzen subplots but let me tell you. I finally am feeling excitement waiting for the next chapter.

 

So pls speed this up now that it's setting into gear lol

 

Good chapter man👍

person Tboss
schedule September 1, 2022 at 12:00 AM

Finally we got some action, this is just the start time to see Kushina sink even deeper.

schedule September 1, 2022 at 12:00 AM

I really liked this 17 chapter, for a moment I was thinking that the waitress will be get lucky with Kushina.

the 2 drunk guys were a surprise

a good chapter

person Y'Rhul
schedule August 23, 2022 at 12:00 AM

Can't wait to get more diplomatic storylines.

Maybe have Jiraiya teach Naruto something to destroy or poke some holes in those curtains in her bedroom. 

schedule August 21, 2022 at 12:00 AM

I found it very tedious to read the story the plot moves very slowly

person Siklos88
schedule July 20, 2022 at 12:00 AM

It's so hot seeing Kushina's slow descent into depravity. I eagerly await the moment where she finally gives in, but I get that the more burn there is, the better the result will be. I can imagine she still has a lot farther to go, even once she does finally break though, as more depraved things are asked of her. Dunno if you plan to add any shota or beast stuff, but that would be cool to see way down the line

person TzeroVon
schedule July 18, 2022 at 12:00 AM

Well… Nothing happened again, this chapter was the same repetitive boredom, for what you said about this chapters "making us happy" I expected something different, but at least Minato made a new appearance and there was no lesbian shit, also your write style's as clean and organize as always so... very pleasant in that part : ).

I really hope that the future sex scenes will be worth the long wait, more hot, descriptive and immersive, not just the same boring descriptions without variations of "To Be Hokage: Side Stories".

As I said last time be more descriptive, add more adjectives and details will help the readers to get excited and recreate the scenes in their minds easily, sexual positions, textures not only of the skin or hair, sensations, the characters' reactions, I know most readers of this website want a "quick fap" but for some of us reading that something is just "tight" or "warm" is very insipid.

Also your erotic writing will gain more appeal as well and that's always a good thing, especially on this website XD.