Fading Scars

Title: Fading Scars
Author: Shuukitty
Summary: Some scars fades—others can’t. Everyone must learn to deal with their scars, both old and newly gained.
Rating: NC17
Pairing(s): It’s a surprise!
Feedback: Desired and appreciated
Characters: The boys and girls of Naruto—more appear as the story goes.
Betas: “Shuukitty” is the combined efforts of Tanithkitty and Croik, co-writers.
Author’s notes: This is a continuation AU after the chuunin exams. This fic was written as a one-on-one RolePlay, so the POV switches just about every paragraph. Please be considerate and do not borrow original characters or situations without permission.
Italics for thoughts
Thanks for reading and please enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, save the OCs, and I’m not making any money off this fic.

Please read and enjoy!

Fading Scars
Chapter One:

Once the sun had finally risen, Naruto deemed it appropriately late enough to go visiting. He left his room through his window, taking to the rooftops as he crossed the village. There was no longer any smoke rising--the fires had finally been put out--but there was still a frightening air of death that hung in the early morning mist. Naruto moved quickly, and finally he was perched on the windowsill of Sasuke's apartment. The boy was still in bed as he poked his head inside. "Hey, Sasuke."

Sasuke blinked slowly at the wall. He hadn't really slept at all that night; he was still a little sore from all their fighting, and there was just...too much to think about. His eyes narrowed a little as he heard Naruto's voice. "Yeah?" Face blank, he rolled onto his side so he could see Naruto in his window. "What do you want?"

He looks tired. "I was thinking," he said briskly, head tilting to the side. "You did really good at the exam the other day. You know, before everything went all crazy and stuff."

Sasuke stared back at him. What does he want? He knew better than to accept a compliment of Naruto's at face value, and slowly he sat up so he could face him properly. "Oh?"

He nodded seriously. "Yeah. You had a bunch of new tricks I've never seen you use before." Naruto shifted his balance, eyes narrowing slightly. "Where'd you learn all that?"

"Oh, you mean Chidori." Sasuke glanced away. It wasn't enough. Even with all the strength I gained…it's still nowhere near enough. "Kakashi's been training me in Taijutsu. I learned Chidori from him."

Naruto's fingers convulsed around the wooden sill. "Kakashi-sensei, huh...?" He watched Sasuke a moment more before he had to look away, staring across his room as his stomach started to tie itself into tiny little knots. "I see."

What's wrong with him? "I heard you won your match against that Hyuuga kid," he remarked, his curiosity suddenly tuned. He snorted. "I would have liked to see that freak of fate."

"I told ya I'd make it through," he replied smartly. "He was no problem at all." Naruto's steam ran out pretty quickly, and again he was staring across the room. Kakashi-sensei was with him. "The whole time?" he asked suddenly.

"Huh?" Sasuke leaned against the wall at his back. "You mean Kakashi? Yeah, the whole time. He really sucks when he's serious."

Naruto ducked his head. "When he's serious, huh?" He finally looked at his former groupmate, stomach tightening with injustice. "I guess he didn't tell you that he was supposed to be doing other things, huh? Real important things." His eyes narrowed. "Things that didn't involve you."

Sasuke frowned. "Real important things...?" He wasn't sure what Naruto was getting at, so he shrugged. "He said I'd need someone to train with, and that he knew how to best combine my strengths for a strategy to use on that Sand ninja. That's all."

Naruto snorted. "Yeah? I guess that makes mine the better win," he muttered. "Since I came up with my strategy all by myself." He stood up, his head just fitting beneath the top of the window, and stretched. "Bet you feel all special, though, getting Kakashi-sensei's exclusive attention, huh? Bet you loved it, huh?"

"What do you want?" Sasuke asked abruptly, his eyes narrowing. I did learn a lot from him, but it's not as if I wasn't the one fighting. "You didn't come here just to say hi, so what is it?"

Naruto turned away to look out over the village, out to the four heads of the Hokage's. "Kakashi told me he wasn't going to train you," he said bluntly. "He told me he had something important to do. He couldn't train me because of it, and he pawned me off on some half-witted closet pervert." His fingers curled into tight fists. "I wanted to know if he just lied to me, or if he just promised you first."

"Oh." Well, I guess no wonder he's mad. Sasuke shrugged. "That sucks. But I don't know what he was thinking, or if you asked him before he volunteered to help me. You'll have to take that up with him."

He volunteered to help him.... "Either way, he lied," he muttered. "About a lot of things." Naruto shook his head, glancing over his shoulder. "Maybe I will ask him. Sorry I woke you."

Sasuke shrugged again. "I wasn't really sleeping." He frowned. "Wait. If Kakashi really did pawn you off...who trained you?"

He shrugged. "Never got his name. I ditched one pervert for another, but at least the second one didn't lie to me." Naruto raised a hand in a wave. "Rest up--Sakura-chan will probably visit soon; you're all she's talked about the last month."

Sasuke cringed a little. Just great. He threw himself back onto the bed. "If you see her, tell her I'm asleep and not to bother me," he muttered as he drew the blankets up to his ears.

"Tell her yourself," he replied. Like I owe you any favors. Without waiting for a reply, Naruto set off for the Hokage's office building--Kakashi had to be there.

He heard from one of the chuunins that his former teacher was meeting with a few others in a classroom. Naruto ignored the warnings of the man as he threw open the door. "Kakashi!"

Kakashi glanced up from the report he'd been reading. "Naruto?" The other Jounin looked to the boy in annoyance, and before they could say too much he gave a shooing gesture. "Ahh, we're a little busy right now."

Naruto planted himself firmly, glaring at the elder man. "What? You got something more important to do?" he asked, fingers curled enough to leave nail marks in his palms. "Why don't you just pawn me off on someone else, huh?"

Kakashi sagged a little in his chair--if Naruto was going to be stubborn, he wasn't going to be let off easily. And now everyone was staring at him. With a sigh he pushed to his feet and dropped his report into Asuma's lap. "I'll be right back," he promised as he moved to the door. He set a hand on Naruto's forehead to push him out into the hall.

Naruto jerked away, following behind Kakashi. I'm not a kid anymore. Once they were in the hall with the door closed, he turned to his teacher with arms crossed. "Well?"

"Well what?" Kakashi returned, genuinely annoyed. "We're in the middle of a crisis, you know. What is it?"

"I talked to Sasuke," he said bluntly, deciding he didn't want to wait for an answer. "You volunteered to help him train after you talked to me. You said to my face that you weren't going to--you said that!" His hands began to shake, and he tensed his arms to keep it from showing. "So you go spend a month training him instead."

"Ah…." Kakashi scratched the back of his head lazily. Is that it? I guess it could be worse. "Did I say that?" he asked idly.

Naruto growled softly. "Of course you did--don't be stupid! You were supposed to be my teacher too, you know. You should have been training us both!"

I can't exactly tell him that Sasuke could have very well killed himself if he'd trained with anyone else.... Kakashi dropped his hand, meeting Naruto's gaze with a bit more seriousness. "Sasuke and I share a lot of certain traits. Your style of fighting, however, is very different than mine. Ebisu was much better equipped to train you."

His eyes narrowed. "He was an idiot," Naruto retorted. "He didn't even know that I had a second source of chakra. Or that I was being blocked." I wonder if Kakashi even knew about that--that I had been blocked sometime during the exam....

Blocked? Kakashi frowned beneath his facemask at that. "You mean the Nine Tails," he said quietly. He shoved his hands in his pockets. "So then, where did you learn to control your chakra like you did?"

Naruto shivered at the mention of the beast. "I met him," he hissed. "That pervy ninja told me I had something in me, and I found him. I got him to lend me his power." No one ever told me. No one ever even mentioned it, that all along I....

"I see." So, he's really learning to control the Nine Tails. I never would have imagined…he'd grow this much so quickly. He shrugged. "So, it worked out, huh?"

"No thanks to you!" he snapped. "You knew the whole time, didn't you? You knew that thing was in me. You all knew! The whole damn village knew! When the hell were you going to tell me?" Naruto stomped on the floor mats, gaining the attention of a few passing chuunin. He heard a few doors sliding open, but he didn't care. "When the hell were you gonna tell me my whole life was being fucked up by something that wasn't my damn fault!!"

"Naruto!" Kakashi hissed, grabbing him harshly by the shoulder. "Stop that. Now isn't the time, all right? I'll answer your questions later."

Naruto jerked away from him again. "I don't want you to!" he snapped. "I don't want you to lie to me anymore! I don't want you as my teacher!" He caught sight of the other rookie coaches, watching him with surprise. All of them improved--all the others. Lee had Guy-sensei, who worried so much about him.... He sniffled without meaning to, feeling tears threatening. He never worried about me--no one ever did!

Naruto took a slow step away, then another. "You suck as a teacher, Kakashi," he choked. "You really, really suck...."

"Naruto..." Kakashi straightened, suddenly at a loss. He...wasn't sure how to respond to that. It wasn't that I didn't care about him. But Sasuke needed me more--Naruto has no idea what we're up against! "I'm sorry," he said evenly, none of that emotion showing in his face. "But I was never your teacher, Naruto. I was your captain. There's a difference."

"Fuck that!" he shouted. "You lied to me! You lied to Sakura-chan!" Naruto stomped his foot again in frustration, the wood cracking beneath him. "What captain sends his men out to fight alone! What captain leaves them to depend on the monster that destroyed their village!" He felt a hot tear burn down the side of his nose, and he reached up to wipe it angrily away.

Kakashi watched him, unimpassioned. "Are you finished?" he asked coldly. "You're not a student anymore, Naruto, you're a soldier. You'll have to trust my judgment."

"Kakashi-sensei," Iruka interrupted; having just stepped out of an adjoining classroom, he took the man's arm to quiet him. "That's enough." His chest ached faintly as he looked to his former student. "Naruto...."

Naruto looked up, watching both men as another tear worked free. "You all knew," he whispered. Iruka-sensei...did you lie to me, too? Did all of you.... He glanced around, finally noticing the crowd that had gathered to stare at him. Most looked wary, some outright worried or annoyed or angry--

He turned away, lowering his head as the started down the hallway so they wouldn't see him crying again.

"Naruto…." Iruka sent Kakashi a heavy glare before starting after the boy. His own throat was constricting painfully in sympathy, and he dared to set a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Naruto, will you come with me?" he asked softly.

"No," he muttered, continuing on. "I don't want any ramen."

No…ramen? Iruka chewed his lip, and squeezed Naruto's shoulder gently. "All right. But can we talk? I know...I owe you that much." Please, Naruto. I'm so sorry....

"About what?" he shot back, anger rising again--better to be angry now. Better to hate them all than listen to them make up more excuses, more lies. "About how I should be a good little ninja and play nice? About how, if I try hard enough, everyone will recognize me? That's bullshit!" It was always bullshit--they weren't ignoring me. They were hating me.

Should I leave him alone? I don't know what to do.... "Naruto, please," Iruka tried again, stepping ahead of him to make him stop walking. "I know you're upset. Won't you let me explain?"

Naruto stopped, keeping his head down. He could still feel the stares at his back, could still sense Kakashi watching him with that unemotional glare.... "Are you gonna lie, too?" he asked in a whisper.

"No," Iruka quickly assured. "Of course not." He chewed his lip. "Do you want to get away from the village?" he suggested. "We can find a place and…just talk, all right? I'll tell you whatever you want to know."

"Iruka," Kakashi called from down the hall, fixing him with a stern gaze. Don't forget what we agreed on. Iruka pursed his lips, and turned back to Naruto. "I'll tell you," he promised in a whisper. "All right?"

He nodded, and when Iruka turned he followed silently. Naruto refused to speak as they made their way through the village, and he could easily imagine the many eyes of the townsfolk on him. "They all know, don't they?" he asked softly.

Iruka's shoulders drooped. "The adults, yes," he admitted softly. "The Hokage instructed we not speak of it--none of the children know." He hesitated and added, "None of your peers."

"Oh." Naruto wasn't sure that made him feel any better. "Then they really did hate just me." He ran a hand back through his hair, fingers dropping to brush idly at his stomach.

"It's not your fault," Iruka quickly assured. This is going to be so difficult. They'd reached the edge of the village, and Iruka took a seat on a small rock beneath a tree. "Even if they weren’t allowed to talk about it, I'm sure the adults...passed on some of their frustration." He tried to smile. "But...I heard about your win in the exam. I'm sure you've changed a few people's opinion of you after that."

"Yeah. I used the power of that monster to beat up a member of the most powerful family in Konoha," he muttered, realizing just how that must have looked. He dropped onto the ground next to Iruka, resting his head in his hands with a heavy sigh.

"It's not like that." I didn’t think he'd make this easy. "You surprised a lot of people, yes, but I spoke to Hyuuga-sama--Neji-kun's uncle--just earlier. He spoke very highly of you."

Naruto bent his knees, resting his arms over them and hiding his face. "Iruka-sensei...." His fingers curled. "Why didn't you tell me? Why...why me?"

"I didn't want to hide it from you," Iruka said softly. He touched Naruto's shoulder gently. "When you were growing up...we thought it would be too much of a burden on you, to know the truth." He smiled grimly. "I know you're upset now, but none of us wanted you to grow up thinking you were a monster. It was better that you come to it now, when you're...maybe better prepared to accept what you are."

So I really am a monster.... Naruto closed his eyes, hugging his legs a bit tighter. All this time. I wonder.... "Iruka-sensei?" His shoulders trembled faintly. "Does Kakashi-sensei hate me?"

"No," Iruka replied quickly. "No, Naruto, of course not." He leaned closer. "What makes you think that?"

He shrugged, but after a moment answered anyway. "He never helped me with it," Naruto replied quietly. "I could have used it, when we fought Zabusa and Haku. I could have used it in the forest with that snake guy, or in the preliminaries. I could have gotten better. And he lied." His voice rose slightly. "I asked him for help--I asked him to train me against Neji! But he said he had something important to do, that he couldn't even train Sasuke, and instead gave me to that pervert who hated me." Naruto ducked down between his shoulders as his voice started to shake again.

Iruka took in a slow breath. "That...." He licked his lips. Can I really tell him something Sasuke himself doesn't even understand yet? Unless Kakashi-sensei told him…yes, he must have, for all that they trained together.

Iruka slid off the rock, moving to kneel in front of Naruto. "Naruto. I can explain that, at least. But if I do, you have to promise you...won't let the higher ninjas know I told you." He lowered his head. "I'm the only one who seems to think you all have the right to know."

Naruto raised his head, searching Iruka's eyes to see if he really was sincere. He rubbed his fist against his nose. "It's that snake guy, isn't it?" he asked softly. "He did something to us, knocked us out...."

Here goes.... "Yes," Iruka answered clearly. "Everything to do with him." He settled back on his ankles. "His name is Orochimaru, and he's a very powerful ninja who once lived here," he began his explanation. "And…yes, he's the one you fought in the forest, so Anko-san tells me. He did something to Sasuke-kun, then. Have you seen it?"

Naruto shook his head. "Not really, but Sakura-chan mentioned it." It's always Sasuke--it's always about Sasuke. He ducked his head again. I'm the one who saved him. I'm the one that fought off that guy, until he....

"So Sasuke had to get stronger so he could fight that guy, is that it?" he asked, keeping in what he really wanted to say.

Iruka shook his head. "It's not just that," he said. Naruto, please understand. "Sasuke is in danger. Kakashi wasn't just training him to fight the Sand ninja in the exam, but protecting him. I know...he wasn't kind to you, but it's more important than you know that Sasuke not fall to Orochimaru."

So Sasuke is that special. Everyone's trying to take care of him. "I get it," he muttered. I didn't want to talk about Sasuke. He sighed quietly, closing his eyes as he gradually began to grow limp. Though he knew he shouldn't have expected Iruka to reassure him...he was still disappointed.

"Naruto...." Iruka sighed quietly. "I know I'm not helping much," he murmured. He reached out to touch the top of Naruto's head. "But I want you to know, I'm proud of how far you've come." He smiled. "You've come so far on your own strength. I wish so badly that I could have seen you in the exam...."

I wish someone had been cheering for me. "I'm not giving up," he whispered. "Even if they don't make me a chuunin, I'll keep going. If no one will train me...I'll do it by myself. I'll do it by myself...."

"I wish it could be me," Iruka said truthfully. "If you want...I can help you in the evenings, after classes. Or if you want, I can have a talk with Asuma-sensei? Now that Shikamaru has been made a chuunin, I'm sure he'd be glad to keep a space for you on his team."

Naruto flinched. "Shikamaru...is a chuunin?" he asked, tone low. "Even though he gave up...they still made him a chuunin?" But not me--of course not me. His fingers curled. "What...about Sasuke?"

"Shikamaru was named a chuunin because of his excellent strategy abilities--he'll make a good leader." Iruka smiled grimly. "He was the only one to pass this year."

"The only one.... Then Neji didn't make it, either." He snorted quietly. "At least I wasn't completely left behind." Sighing, Naruto finally sat back up, leaning against the rock.

"I don't think anyone can doubt your enthusiasm," Iruka assured lightly. "But being a chuunin isn't just how well you fight, or how many Hyuuga's you defeat. Or Sand ninjas, for that matter." He smirked a little. "Part of it is knowing when to quit. Which might be the one thing you're not good at, eh?"

Naruto chuckled faintly at that. "Yeah...." He glanced away, off into the trees. "But sometimes...isn't it better not to quit, Iruka-sensei?" he asked.

"Yes, that's true. But as a chuunin, you'll be expected to lead younger ninjas into battle." Relieved that at least Naruto was listening, he continued. "You'll need to look after them. And in that case, sometimes it's better to retreat, rather than endanger the lives of your men. Even if you know that you yourself can survive."

"If that was the case, I'd send them on," he replied, still watching the forest. "I'd tell them to get away until it was safe, and keep whoever was left from getting to them until I won."

Iruka smiled. "Then you really have grown," he said quietly. He tapped Naruto's cheek, hoping to get him to look back. “If the exam hadn't ended so quickly, you might have had a chance to show everyone the Naruto I already know. But I'm afraid with all this mess...you'll have to wait a few more months."

Naruto's eyes dropped. "Will they let me?" he asked softly, fingers curling. "By then, I'll be even better at using the monster's powers. Will they let me enter then?"

"They will. Naruto, you have to understand something, even if they don't yet." Iruka leaned a little closer. "You weren't given the...the Nine Tails to make you a monster. It was given to you so that you could keep it--so that you could protect everyone in the village from it. And as long as you can control it, you're doing just that."

Blinking, Naruto faced his teacher in surprise. "Protect everyone...." He frowned. "But...why don't you tell them that, if it's true? Why do they all have to hate me?"

"Because...." Iruka faltered. "They...they do know," he confessed softly. "They just...don't quite see it that way. They don't hate you--they're afraid." He lowered his eyes briefly. "They're afraid that it will get out, someday. Which makes what you did at the exam all the better, showing people that you can control it," he added.

“Oh." Naruto settled back again, thinking that through. "Then...." What I really need to be doing is.... "Then I need to get stronger," he murmured. "So I can...keep him trapped in me...."

"Yes." Iruka sighed, and leaned back suddenly, on his hands. "I'm sorry, Naruto. I wish there was more I could do, but you're right--right now, that's the only solution we know of." He smiled, for Naruto's sake. "Do you think you can do that?"

He snorted. "It'll be easier than becoming Hokage, won't it?" Naruto faced his teacher--he felt drained, almost, and he was frightened to return to the village and face Kakashi and the others. "I can do it."

"Yes, I know you can." Iruka sat up again, giving Naruto a pat on the shoulder as he pushed to his feet. "I know it's an awful lot," he said apologetically. "But you'll be all right, Naruto. I'll do whatever I can for you."

Nodding, Naruto slowly pushed to his feet as well. "Thanks, Iruka-sensei." He ran a hand back through his hair. I was acting like a kid again, but.... Straightening his shoulders, he turned towards the village again. "Will you tell Kakashi something for me?" he asked.

Iruka glanced to him curiously. "Yes?"

His fingers curled. "Tell him...I don't want him to teach me anymore. He's not my captain." I'm not sure...he ever really was.

Iruka's spirits fell a little at that, but he nodded. "All right," he replied seriously. "If that's what you want, I'll tell him."

"Thanks." Naruto took a deep breath, feeling perhaps a bit better. I'll just have to work harder, on my own. Without Kakashi or any perverts. That decided, he started back towards the village.

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