Darkness be my light
folder
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,088
Reviews:
47
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,088
Reviews:
47
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
cp1-Crimson stains and Inky shadow
Yes I know...very different from my other story...SEE I CAN BE DEPRESSING TOO!! *shifty eyes* It happens. :P Comments and reviews are welcome!
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Cp1-Crimson stains and Inky shadow
Dark
The inky blackness enveloped me whole and bound me. Drained the warmth from my body dripping it onto the already stained carpet. Slung across the length of my couch, one arm across my stomach the other sprawled out, dangling down towards the floor as red dripped from my fingertips. I watched with hypnotic fascination as blood ebbed free from my wrist. Why had I done it? The strength seeping free as cerulean eyes rolled over the blade left forgotten on the floor. Kyuubi hadn’t healed it this time, because I’d made sure he couldn’t. I’d practically used all of my chakra reserves by wasting it on jutsus and ‘training’ all day so the fox didn’t have the energy to stop me. I’d had enough, enough of this sixteen-year-old hell. Far as I was concerned, I was doing everyone a favour. I was getting rid of their problems. Their fears…their Demon.
People say it doesn’t hurt. That’s a lie, it did hurt a bit. You don’t slash your wrists and not expect it though. The physical pain is easier to ignore than the emotional that you are trying to escape. After a little while, though, it stops hurting. The warmth is gone, but so is the pain. That cold kiss of the unknown coils about you softly, drawing you down until it just stops hurting. Sixteen years I’ve waited for this…this peace.
My eyes feel heavy as I release a sigh and let them drift shut. Will anyone miss me? I’d always hoped they would, a fleeting feeling of guilt at realising one person might. Iruka Sensei…I’m sorry. But you’ll move on, because, you’re stronger than I am.
This isn’t a decision I made on a whim. No, nothing like that. This isn’t the first time I’ve tried. But always the Fox stopped me. Closed the wounds and left no scars. So no one knew. My mask was cracking; the foxish smile and loud personality weren’t as bright, becoming quieter. I had found it harder and harder to hold that mask in place…but I still wouldn’t cry. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. Wouldn’t let them see that deep. Find those scars than trailed through my soul so deep they still felt fresh. But…but now…I was tired. So I was doing what the fourth couldn’t do. Getting rid of the Fox and its holder along with it.
Suddenly a sound echoes through my cold solace, but I don’t care as this peace consumes me my warmth dripping onto the floor. I feel my body relax. This is better, isn’t it? That knock penetrates the still air of my apartment, faintly hearing my name called. I’m too drowsy to remember it’s late, past midnight, that no one should be here this time of night.
***
Knocking on Naruto’s door I muttered to myself. What the hell was taking the Dobe so long? Normally I wouldn’t care, but I guess he’d forgotten. We were meant to meet up for some late training two hours ago. Like we had been once every week. Normally the idiot never passed up a chance to try and kick my butt. But tonight…he’d never shown up. I’d thought about just going home, if he didn’t want to bother fine with me. We were friends, rivals…it had been that way for years. I hated to admit it, but he was the only one I could stand to be around after Orochimaru. Maybe because it had been him to…and I quote…’drag my sorry ass back to the village’? I tried not to think too deeply about it.
Pounding my fist against the door I yelled.
“Dobe! Open the door already!”
Silence.
Why did I have a bad feeling about this? Why couldn’t I just turn away and walk home? Why did I get the feeling something was…wrong?
“Naruto!”
Pounding the door again, not caring if I woke anybody up. The door rattled and I sighed. He was probably fine…right? I was probably just stressing over nothing. Then again…he’d never not shown up before. Placing a pale hand on the door handle I tested it…Che…like I thought; not locked. Why kind of Shinobi didn’t lock his door? The door opened with a creak, hissing across carpet as I looked inside.
“Dobe, you better not just be sleeping.” I called down the hallway.
Once again silence. A frown marred my brow. That feeling of unease twisted in my gut. Something was definitely wrong. Picking up my pace I hurried inside. Coming to the living room entrance I spied a mop of blond peeking over the edge of the couch. Striding forward ready to give him a piece of my mind I leant over the back and sucked in a breath. What was…going on? My eyes widened in horror at the implications of what I saw. Blood pooled on the floor. Slithering down the blond boy’s wrist to drip form his stained fingertips. His other hand rested carelessly over his stomach with abandon. Blood already soaking through his shirt, His skin was a pasty white and his skin looked clammy. A knife left forgotten on the floor.
I don’t remember much else, I know I somehow ended up on the other side of the couch. I know I tore the wraps about my to try stop the bleeding. Heart thundering in my chest.
“Naruto!!”
Why? Why would he do this!?
“Naruto!!”
He wasn’t breathing? I had to get him out of here and to Tsunade! Didn’t matter how, but it had to be fast. I bundled him up off the couch and he felt cold and dead in my arms. But the faintest of breaths brushed the crook of my neck. He was still alive...he was still alive...he wouldn’t die!
And I ran from the apartment with speed I didn’t know I possessed.
***
Something jolted me, and I felt like I was floating. But this wasn’t the floating I had slowly started to accept. The light weight feeling of my subconscious slipping away. This was…different.
~Naruto~
Did I know that voice?
~Naruto~
Yes, I did, but I was too tired. I couldn’t place it. Maybe it was someone who cared. I would have laughed at that thought if I had the energy. A sad lonely laugh. Who cared about a demon? Who ever did was better off without. In the end. It only hurt. Best to let go now, now while I still had the strength to break those bonds. Let go, let go before they became too strong to cut. This was the only way. I was safe here. Away from the voices. The taunting. The stares. It’s cold here, but quiet. The darkness doesn’t judge. The cold numbs the pain. This is better than life…So why…
~Don’t die Dobe~
This…
~Why did you do it?~
Was this…
~ Just…~
Was this better…
~…don’t die…~
Than, before?
It was meant to be, wasn’t it…why was it hurting again?
“Sasuke…”
***
“…Sasuke...”
My head snapped down and I was forced to stop.
“Naruto!”
***
Stupid fox, what are you doing. I could feel something-warm heat my skin, something warm against it. Kyuubi growled with in my mind. He was angry I had tried to kill us both. Well screw him! It was his fault anyway.
But that warmth was coming back, and the pain. I could feel it gnawing in my chest again. The fox was forcing chakra into my wrists, making them heal.
“No you stupid Fox!” I cried mentally.
I wanted to die. Didn’t they understand! This was better, it was safer here. In this Black Death. I didn’t care, no one could touch me here!
“Don’t do that!”
He snarled back, but the sound was weak, he was still tired. He was taking away my last freedom. Was I so trapped I couldn’t even make the choice to die? It wasn’t right! This was my life and my death! I could choose, not that damn Fox. My body…not his!
“STOP IT!!!”
TBC
------
Cp1-Crimson stains and Inky shadow
Dark
The inky blackness enveloped me whole and bound me. Drained the warmth from my body dripping it onto the already stained carpet. Slung across the length of my couch, one arm across my stomach the other sprawled out, dangling down towards the floor as red dripped from my fingertips. I watched with hypnotic fascination as blood ebbed free from my wrist. Why had I done it? The strength seeping free as cerulean eyes rolled over the blade left forgotten on the floor. Kyuubi hadn’t healed it this time, because I’d made sure he couldn’t. I’d practically used all of my chakra reserves by wasting it on jutsus and ‘training’ all day so the fox didn’t have the energy to stop me. I’d had enough, enough of this sixteen-year-old hell. Far as I was concerned, I was doing everyone a favour. I was getting rid of their problems. Their fears…their Demon.
People say it doesn’t hurt. That’s a lie, it did hurt a bit. You don’t slash your wrists and not expect it though. The physical pain is easier to ignore than the emotional that you are trying to escape. After a little while, though, it stops hurting. The warmth is gone, but so is the pain. That cold kiss of the unknown coils about you softly, drawing you down until it just stops hurting. Sixteen years I’ve waited for this…this peace.
My eyes feel heavy as I release a sigh and let them drift shut. Will anyone miss me? I’d always hoped they would, a fleeting feeling of guilt at realising one person might. Iruka Sensei…I’m sorry. But you’ll move on, because, you’re stronger than I am.
This isn’t a decision I made on a whim. No, nothing like that. This isn’t the first time I’ve tried. But always the Fox stopped me. Closed the wounds and left no scars. So no one knew. My mask was cracking; the foxish smile and loud personality weren’t as bright, becoming quieter. I had found it harder and harder to hold that mask in place…but I still wouldn’t cry. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. Wouldn’t let them see that deep. Find those scars than trailed through my soul so deep they still felt fresh. But…but now…I was tired. So I was doing what the fourth couldn’t do. Getting rid of the Fox and its holder along with it.
Suddenly a sound echoes through my cold solace, but I don’t care as this peace consumes me my warmth dripping onto the floor. I feel my body relax. This is better, isn’t it? That knock penetrates the still air of my apartment, faintly hearing my name called. I’m too drowsy to remember it’s late, past midnight, that no one should be here this time of night.
***
Knocking on Naruto’s door I muttered to myself. What the hell was taking the Dobe so long? Normally I wouldn’t care, but I guess he’d forgotten. We were meant to meet up for some late training two hours ago. Like we had been once every week. Normally the idiot never passed up a chance to try and kick my butt. But tonight…he’d never shown up. I’d thought about just going home, if he didn’t want to bother fine with me. We were friends, rivals…it had been that way for years. I hated to admit it, but he was the only one I could stand to be around after Orochimaru. Maybe because it had been him to…and I quote…’drag my sorry ass back to the village’? I tried not to think too deeply about it.
Pounding my fist against the door I yelled.
“Dobe! Open the door already!”
Silence.
Why did I have a bad feeling about this? Why couldn’t I just turn away and walk home? Why did I get the feeling something was…wrong?
“Naruto!”
Pounding the door again, not caring if I woke anybody up. The door rattled and I sighed. He was probably fine…right? I was probably just stressing over nothing. Then again…he’d never not shown up before. Placing a pale hand on the door handle I tested it…Che…like I thought; not locked. Why kind of Shinobi didn’t lock his door? The door opened with a creak, hissing across carpet as I looked inside.
“Dobe, you better not just be sleeping.” I called down the hallway.
Once again silence. A frown marred my brow. That feeling of unease twisted in my gut. Something was definitely wrong. Picking up my pace I hurried inside. Coming to the living room entrance I spied a mop of blond peeking over the edge of the couch. Striding forward ready to give him a piece of my mind I leant over the back and sucked in a breath. What was…going on? My eyes widened in horror at the implications of what I saw. Blood pooled on the floor. Slithering down the blond boy’s wrist to drip form his stained fingertips. His other hand rested carelessly over his stomach with abandon. Blood already soaking through his shirt, His skin was a pasty white and his skin looked clammy. A knife left forgotten on the floor.
I don’t remember much else, I know I somehow ended up on the other side of the couch. I know I tore the wraps about my to try stop the bleeding. Heart thundering in my chest.
“Naruto!!”
Why? Why would he do this!?
“Naruto!!”
He wasn’t breathing? I had to get him out of here and to Tsunade! Didn’t matter how, but it had to be fast. I bundled him up off the couch and he felt cold and dead in my arms. But the faintest of breaths brushed the crook of my neck. He was still alive...he was still alive...he wouldn’t die!
And I ran from the apartment with speed I didn’t know I possessed.
***
Something jolted me, and I felt like I was floating. But this wasn’t the floating I had slowly started to accept. The light weight feeling of my subconscious slipping away. This was…different.
~Naruto~
Did I know that voice?
~Naruto~
Yes, I did, but I was too tired. I couldn’t place it. Maybe it was someone who cared. I would have laughed at that thought if I had the energy. A sad lonely laugh. Who cared about a demon? Who ever did was better off without. In the end. It only hurt. Best to let go now, now while I still had the strength to break those bonds. Let go, let go before they became too strong to cut. This was the only way. I was safe here. Away from the voices. The taunting. The stares. It’s cold here, but quiet. The darkness doesn’t judge. The cold numbs the pain. This is better than life…So why…
~Don’t die Dobe~
This…
~Why did you do it?~
Was this…
~ Just…~
Was this better…
~…don’t die…~
Than, before?
It was meant to be, wasn’t it…why was it hurting again?
“Sasuke…”
***
“…Sasuke...”
My head snapped down and I was forced to stop.
“Naruto!”
***
Stupid fox, what are you doing. I could feel something-warm heat my skin, something warm against it. Kyuubi growled with in my mind. He was angry I had tried to kill us both. Well screw him! It was his fault anyway.
But that warmth was coming back, and the pain. I could feel it gnawing in my chest again. The fox was forcing chakra into my wrists, making them heal.
“No you stupid Fox!” I cried mentally.
I wanted to die. Didn’t they understand! This was better, it was safer here. In this Black Death. I didn’t care, no one could touch me here!
“Don’t do that!”
He snarled back, but the sound was weak, he was still tired. He was taking away my last freedom. Was I so trapped I couldn’t even make the choice to die? It wasn’t right! This was my life and my death! I could choose, not that damn Fox. My body…not his!
“STOP IT!!!”
TBC