A Thousand Miles

A/N: oops...wow, I completely forgot a disclaimer. I could've gotten sued!! *gasps in horror* but really, I don't own anything except for my dear little plot bunny ^_^ *glomps plot bunny* The Naruto characters and setting and everything else all belong to the er....author? artist? whatever s/he's called of Naruto. It's an official thing that I don't know anything about... -_-;

A Thousand Miles

I'm getting ready and I know it has to be today. I have to go. Tonight. I can't go another day without you here. You were my best friend...my only real friend. You said I was your best friend too. You said you cared – even if it was just that once. But you lied. Why else would you leave? You left, and I couldn't bring you back. What kind of failure does that make me?

That's why I'm going after you now – why I have to find you now. I can't go on knowing I failed so miserably, and not try to do anything about it. It's driving me crazy, and it has been since the day we came back, the five of us...Chouji...Neji...Kiba and Akamaru...Shikamaru...and me...accompanied by Gaara and his siblings and Rock Lee, battered and broken. They all had put their faith in me. And I somehow managed to fuck it up royally...like I always somehow manage to.

It was my worst failure, and even they turned their faces in disgust. They patted me on the back, with reassuring masks, but I could see the disappointment and brokenness in their eyes, in their slumped and defeated stances, in the venom of the disgust in Gaara's eyes. He didn't even try and mask it at all. He didn't need to, he never had needed to mask his disgust before, so why start now? His eyes spoke for them all, spoke volumes of my failure.

This is why I leave in the dead of night. I will find you. And I will bring you back if it's the last thing I do. I will die if I have to, to get you back. Even if it is by your hand that I die, I will go and fight until my life has been dragged and ripped from my soul to bring you back. I have to bring you back because Konoha's hope has been ripped away by Orochimaru and his minions. Konoha's pride and joy...the last of the Uchiha clan...their genius prodigy...has been stolen and along with him, their hope. There are other clans, but you were special. You could stand anything, or so they thought. Konoha needs you, Tsunade-sama needs you, Kakashi-sensei and Sakura need you...I need you.

By sneaking out, I'm probably going to become a missing nin myself, like you already are, except I probably won't even make it to S-class, the village will make sure of that. But you don't know that. You'll never know, because you're not allowed to. Because if you did, you'd hate me as much as the adults of this village...maybe you already do, so it doesn't matter, it'd only give you another reason. You were reluctantly made a missing nin after the thick-headed, hopeful people of this village realised you weren't going to come back to them without war breaking out. And right off the bat -- S-class missing nin: Uchiha Sasuke.

I open the door to my apartment and close my door, not even bothering to lock it, no one's going to even try to enter. Even if they do, there's nothing worth taking, and it doesn't even have enough shit inside to trash. It's empty. There's nothing for me here but emptiness and disregard and neglect.

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

Save for maybe Iruka-sensei, but...I'm sorry, sensei. One person's distant affection and care isn't going to save me from the entire village. Iruka-sensei empathises, but what more can he do? He loves me, but he can't always be there.

And so, I'm going to find you. You, who spoke only to me. You, who taunted me, yet had faith in me. You, who risked your life, for me. You...who called me your only best friend...at one point in time. Am I still that only best friend? Or has power been reduced to your only friend? Do you love power that much?

I need to find out. I need to know. And I need to know, whether I'm going to have to let go of you, and move on, or to cling to that shred of hope and drag your sorry ass back, and put your pieces back together. This is why I walk down these empty, dark streets tonight. It's not for the recognition of this village. It's not to turn the cold eyes – it's not for them, but for you...and for me. To know if there is an "us" anymore. If we are still bonded– as anything anymore. And so...I walk...amongst the ghostly faces of non-existent crowds that are the souls of this village.

I am homebound. This place that I am in is not my home. That empty apartment that I abandoned tonight is not my home– never was, never will be...because you are the home of my heart. Because you are my best friend, even now. I have felt the pain of betrayal, and yet, I still hold this love for you. Because friendship is stronger than betrayal. It must be, otherwise, how could any friendship last? Faith is built, and if it is damaged, it is repaired, strengthened, and is stronger than ever before...Or, it is damaged forever. I must find out tonight, which one it is for us.

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd

I have all my senses on full alert for anyone, and because of the Kyuubi, my senses at full attention is something to be reckoned with, my sense of smell almost to the point it could give Kiba a run for his money, my hearing, a bat's, my eyes, could challenge even Neji, and...you get the idea. But my eyes, though they would catch the slightest movement, are currently focused blankly ahead, towards the gates that I plan to simply walk out of. They won't ever notice my chakra signature, I've hidden it too well, and with the help of Kyuubi's added protection, there's no chance in any of even the jounin detecting any trace of chakra.

As expected, I jump straight over the outer wall, with the chakra already gathered at my feet, but hidden, completely undetected. My training and symbiosis with Kyuubi has not been spent in vain. I allow myself a small, pleased smirk. I have not changed on the outside; my loud, annoying, clumsy mask never faltering; that ridiculously large grin never leaving my face. However, my true nature, has not ever been revealed, only in my mind, have I allowed small changes to take place. I have had to. I had to accommodate and adjust to the loss of my one true friend, the little love I had in my life, the little trust and faith. I had to adjust to the loss of something precious. Not deal with just the absence of it.

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

The streets are empty. And yet...they are filled, with the apparitions of the occupants of the village, the people who make this village a place to live, and not just a cluster of buildings. The people who, as corny as it sounds, make this house a home. The people who I, for so long, have wanted to acknowledge me, to accept me, to love me. I know now, that, because what resides in me, and is now a part of me, is what made them deal with what I deal with now. I can never forgive Orochimaru for luring you away, for stealing you. And I now know, how it feels, when someone precious is torn from you. And I now understand the hearts of the people of this village and why they can never accept me, even if I do become Hokage. Perhaps they will recognise me, and know that I am someone to be reckoned with, but they could never love me. They are not capable of that, and I do not expect it from them anymore, no matter how much it hurts me. Even I am not that selfish.

And these faces call to me, to bring home their hope. The hope that they had so carefully reconstructed, after I was created. You, the Uchiha clan, and the power of the Sharingan, all have to be kept from the greedy clutches of Orochimaru, from the clutches of a boundless evil that will stop at nothing to acquire the ultimate power: ultimate knowledge. The faces call to me, to bring home hope, to bring home...you. Because I am their despair, their daily reminder of what they lost to Kyuubi. And you were to be their Saviour. They need at least your image. They need something to ground them. Without a power they can trust to go up against Orochimaru, they are lost, drowning in an ocean of despair.

Yet again I am reminded that I do not only go for them, though. I keep them in mind, but I walk through this ghostly crowd alone, undetected, and unwanted. I walk, only pushing my way through wandering spirits and wraiths, who have lost their hope and reason to thrive.

Amidst my thoughts, I realise that I have already made it a fair ways through the thick, dense foliage that surrounds our peace-loving little village. I am too prone to losing myself in thought when I'm alone. If it weren't for the Kyuubi, I'd have been long sensed, tracked, and beat down. And I would have had my sorry ass dragged back to Konoha-gakure in two seconds flat...like I was supposed to have done to you.

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you...
Tonight

I look up into the stars, and feel something small, but distinct well up in me. I don't recognise it. But then again, I'm the usurotonkachi, neh? The idiot who doesn't know anything and is oblivious to everything. I look up into the black night that has the stars sprinkled into it, but even the stars don't have the audacity to shine so piercingly bright tonight. I almost smirk to myself. I guess even the stars know why I set out. Even the stars will watch over me, and the Kyuubi, and let the world know what is to come. I remember the night when Sandaime gave me a real reason to live. The day my dream was born. I don't know why I'm remembering this, because it has nothing to do with you, but I don't question my train of thought. I have time. And I have a guardian, my senses will not fail me-- not with the Kyuubi around.

Before I lose myself in memories again, I think...of how little you know of me; how little anyone knows of me, for that matter-- even Kakashi-sensei. Perhaps my mask is too strong. And I think of how I would search to the ends of the earth to find and save the person who was, and is, my one true friend. But Sasuke...am I still yours?