mischief's cracktastic shorts

Disclaimer: Don't own it. If I did, Shika would soooo be my bitch. XD

Genre: total crack XD

Word count: 475

Pairings: Shika and half of Konoha? :P No one specific
actually.

Lazy Ass Love

Nara Shikamaru has never hit on a girl in his life. Too
troublesome. Naturally. It hasn’t managed to hurt his love life any, though, which
seems odd to him. But he doesn’t really feel like questioning it. The girls come
to him, and he’s not really sure why. He supposes he’s decent looking enough;
although, he admits that even a genius can have a hard time understanding what
goes on in the female mind. Either way, it doesn’t matter, because apparently
he’s somewhat desirable, and that’s not really all that troublesome for him,
he’s decided.

They come to him, and he gets all the benefits of dating
without the actual dating and all the troublesome crap it entails. Hell, he
even lets them do all the work in bed most of the time. It serves two purposes
really. 1. His only exertion is the occasional grope. 2. The girls set their
pace and take their pleasure, and he’s not at risk of doing something wrong.
Did he mention that he doesn’t have to do much? See? Everyone wins!

Hey, don’t make that face. They know what they like, and
it’s good for him either way. So the way he sees it, there’s nothing wrong with
just lying there and letting them have their way with him.

Now that’s not to say he’s a total bum in the sack. He takes
charge when needed. Sometimes he’ll even go out of his way by going down on his
partner. It’s a little troublesome but worth the payoff in the end, his inner
strategist reassures. Because it would be a whole lot more troublesome if they
weren’t pleased and never came back, or worse, inform the other kunoichi in the
village of his sub par performance. Yeah, that’d be hella troublesome. So he
accepts his fate that if she’s pleased, he’ll be pleased, and the world keeps
turning.

The most troublesome thing of all, though, is the games some
chicks like to play. Now being a genius and all, he can usually sift through
the bullshit pretty well, but goddamn the effort! He does not bother trying to please the game players. They don’t need to
come back. A couple of them were such a pain, he even considered dropping
females altogether. He knows how guys think anyway, but apparently he’s not the
only one who doesn’t like to bottom, and finding someone who does is style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'>really
troublesome.

So yeah, back to women is it, because even though they can
be troublesome, not all of them are,
and if he can just lie there, then that’s even better. If he weren’t such a
lazy ass, he might wonder why it is that all these people want to have sex with
him in the first place, but he doesn’t waste much time on it, because
obviously, it’s too troublesome.