Any Excuse

Title: Any Excuse 1/2

Fandom: Naruto

Pairing: Er, this part? Just Sasuke/Naruto. Next part, Neji joins in. :D

Warnings: Smut! Give me smut and nothing but! The title doesn't just relate to the contents of the fic, y'know. XD

Disclaimer: Not mine, dude.



Note: Please, do not attempt to take this seriously. At all. Ever. There is no plot. There is no sense. It's probably slightly OOC, because can you see this ever happening in canon? I wanted to write smut, so I wrote smut. Don't go looking for any deep meaning or romantic feelings here, because even though Sasuke had to have his brood in part two, all he's thinking about is sex. Not about love, or even any more affection necessary to screw someone regularly.



Just go with it, people, because looking for deeper meaning in this fic may cause your brain to explode. :P








Any Excuse





Sasuke was fairly sure that he was under a genjutsu of some kind. Using the standard kai dispel did nothing, but that didn’t mean much – some genjutsu, like that wonderful little illusion his brother did with his eyes, couldn’t be dispelled with a simple kai.



However, as Sasuke knew from painful experience, this wasn’t the Mangekyou. And anything less could be seen through with the Sharingan.



So . . . he’d gone nuts.



No, wait. Scratch that. Naruto had gone nuts.



“Oi, bastard. Answer the question.”



Sasuke just stared at his former teammate. He’d found one of Naruto’s shoes in his apartment – a remnant of a rather drunken night out a few days ago – and had decided to return it. He’d been half intending to rile Naruto into challenging him to a spar, but then—



Then he got hit with a genjutsu, because there was no way in hell that Naruto had said what he thought he’d said.



“Have you gone deaf or something?” the genjutsu-Naruto said, scowling at him and fiddling with the laces on his pyjama trousers. It was a little distracting, arguing with a shirtless Naruto. “It’s a very simple question, bastard. Do. You. Want. To. Fuck. Me.”



Yes. “No!”



Naruto squinted at him, then grinned, all sharp teeth and slit eyes. “Liar!” he proclaimed.



Sasuke gritted his teeth. “You’re with Neji.”



“And I know the two of you want to fuck each other, so what’s the problem?”



“The problem is that you are with Neji.”



Naruto rolled his eyes. “You two have had sex before.”



Sasuke refused to wonder how Naruto knew that. Really. “Once.”



“So what’s the problem with you having sex with me?” Naruto asked. “If you’re worried about Neji flipping out, he won’t be back until tomorrow. Mission.”



Sasuke wanted to beat his head against a brick wall, but then this conversation was pretty much the same thing. “Do you not understand the concept of an exclusive relationship, moron?” he said flatly. “I was under the impression that you and Neji had decided on one, after all.”



“That’s because Neji’s an idiot who has this stupid idea in his head that if you’re fucking someone regularly, it means you’re not allowed to fuck other people,” Naruto grumbled. “Never mind if the person that they’re fucking regularly has said that they don’t mind so long as they get to join in.”



Sasuke groaned. “Did you ever think that maybe Neji actually wanted to be exclusive to you, rather than doing it because he thought it was the right thing?” he asked.



“Yeah, but I checked. He doesn’t,” Naruto said, grinning again. The grin vanished as he straightened, staring Sasuke down. “You know what, I’m getting bored of this,” Naruto announced, and dropped his trousers.



Too startled to move, Sasuke just stared. It occurred to him that somehow, despite all the missions they’d been on together as kids, he’d never seen Naruto naked before. If he had, he would have known that Naruto had no tan lines – he was that same, slightly ruddy brown all over, with the afternoon light giving his skin a golden tint. Except for his cock, which was a darker reddish-purplish-brown, and slowly rising to attention as Sasuke stared at it.



“Once in a lifetime offer, Sasuke-bastard,” Naruto drawled. “You want it? Come and get it.” With that, he turned and walked into the bedroom, the muscles in his arse moving in a way that suddenly made Sasuke want to grab hold of Naruto’s hips and bite. The impulse was so strong he could almost feel the muscle against his teeth.



He stood in the hallway for a long, tense moment, struggling with himself. On the one hand, the correct thing to do would be to leave, and never mention this again. On the other hand. . . .



On the other hand, Naruto had a fantastic arse. And he was one of the few people who gave a shit about Sasuke. And he was one of the few people that Sasuke could trust.



And he – Sasuke – hadn’t been laid in months.



That was the clincher, really.



Naruto grinned at him when he walked into the bedroom. “You’re wearing too many clothes, Sasuke-bastard,” he said, legs planted wide on the bed as he stroked himself slowly. Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at him, surprised by how natural it felt to be standing there watching Naruto masturbate, and how easy it was to slip his own clothes off and join him on the bed.



“That’s be – uh! – tter,” Naruto said, moaning as Sasuke dropped his shorts on the floor and knelt on the bed, reaching over to take hold of Naruto’s cock and began to stroke in time. It felt wonderful in his hand, the skin smooth and soft over the hardened core, vein pulsing against his fingers – his skin looked almost too pale against it, white against dark, bruised red. The sight and the smell of Naruto’s arousal were making him hard, so he swung one leg over the other man’s, grinding into his hip.



“Sasuke. . . .”



“You talk too much,” Sasuke muttered, mouthing the skin on Naruto’s neck. It was strange to realise that Naruto had no scars – not even the tiniest pucker to mark the spot where Sasuke had stuck his arm through his best friend’s chest. A benefit to being the host of a demon, Sasuke supposed, remembering that Gaara had no scars, either, other than the kanji on his forehead.



Which was interesting and everything, but it was distracting him from the task at hand. Sasuke bit down on Naruto’s neck and sucked on the flesh he gathered between his teeth, grinning when he heard Naruto make a noise somewhere between pain, surprise and ‘God damn that felt good do it again!’



Keeping up the slow, firm strokes on Naruto’s cock, Sasuke leaned back and eyed his handiwork. Or mouthiwork. Whatever. The large, red mark gave him a surprising feeling of accomplishment – which rapidly dissolved as the mark faded. Sasuke scowled at the place where a beautiful hickey should have been.



“Neji gets pissed off that he can’t leave hickeys, either,” Naruto said, sounding amused.



“I told you, you talk too much,” Sasuke growled, then leaned up and kissed him. Naruto’s lips weren’t soft, but they were pliable, opening for his tongue and kissing back with the same inexhaustible enthusiasm with which Naruto did everything.



Sasuke pulled away when he noticed Naruto’s hands moving for his head. “You are not putting that one in my hair,” he said, scowling at Naruto’s right hand, which had recently been next to Sasuke’s on the blond man’s dick.



“What? It’s not like it’s got come on it or anything,” Naruto said.



“It’s been on your dick. It’s not going in my hair.”



Naruto rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Mr Prissy-Bitch.”



“You’re the bitch here,” Sasuke replied.



“Only for the first time,” Naruto leered. “Didn’t say anything about the rest of the day.”



Sasuke rolled his eyes, ignoring the way the idea of Naruto inside him made his cock twitch. He leaned back so he was sitting on his haunches, then swung his outside leg over Naruto’s body, scooting back so that his head was facing Naruto’s cock – and all without stopping the slow, steady rhythm he had going on it. “Shut up and suck me,” Sasuke said, planting his knees on either side of Naruto’s head.



“Yes sir, Mr Prissy-Bastard, sir!”



Just for that, Sasuke flicked the head of Naruto’s cock with a fingernail. Naruto let out a mostly incoherent yell of rage that rapidly dissolved into a strangled moan as Sasuke licked the head, delicately, just where he’d flicked it.



“Got any lubricant?” he asked, before Naruto could recover enough to think about reciprocation.



“Er . . . yeah,” Naruto said, sounding a little dazed. “Bedside cabinet, let me – oi, Sasuke, your knee’s in the way. Move it, would you? —Not that way! Stupid bastard, you nearly poked my eye out with your dick!”



“What more do you want? I moved my knee!”



“You should’ve lifted it up, instead of sliding it backwards!”



“You didn’t tell me to do that!”



“Whatever, Sasuke-bastard. Just lift your knee up, already.”



Grumbling, Sasuke lifted his knee, then retaliated by sucking forcefully on the head of Naruto’s cock just as he heard the drawer on the bedside cabinet open. Naruto nearly brained him with the tube of lubricant, yelling something about bastards who distract people when they’re leaning off the edge of a bed. Sasuke smirked and didn’t bother replying, alternately sucking and licking the other man’s cock. It didn’t take long before Naruto joined in, holding Sasuke’s hips steady above him as his mouth worked along the shaft.



It was incredibly awkward, attempting to keep his balance while sucking another man’s cock and trying to get a tube of lubricant open when he only had one hand free – not to mention the fact that said other man was deep-throating him like there was no tomorrow. It had to be killing Naruto’s neck, but Sasuke was definitely not going to tell him to stop, especially not when Naruto moaned around Sasuke’s cock like that. The vibrations were incredible, and Sasuke had to drop his head and pant for a few moments before he could think enough to remember that he was supposed to be getting the cap off that damned tube.



Naruto really wasn’t helping with Sasuke’s coordination, however, and in the end he had to stop jerking Naruto and settle for just sucking him, placing his elbow on the bed beside Naruto’s hips so he could use the now free hand to help in getting that fucking cap off the tube of lubricant. Naruto switched to suckling on his balls just as he squeezed the tube, however, which meant that more lubricant ended up on the sheets than on Sasuke’s fingers.



“Stop – ah – distracting me,” he gasped.



“Mmf ffm mmm fm,” Naruto said, his words muffled as he mouthed a path along Sasuke’s cock.



Sasuke couldn’t help it. He really couldn’t. “And don’t talk with your mouth full.”



The tube fell from his suddenly nerveless fingers as Naruto laughed around him, the sensation deeply arousing. Sasuke groaned helplessly, realising that there was no way in hell he could get anything done with Naruto’s mouth on his dick. From the way Naruto stiffened and gasped as he licked at the precum gathering on the head of Naruto’s cock, he doubted the other man was thinking in particularly coherent manner, either.



Moaning a little as he pulled out of Naruto’s mouth, Sasuke rolled to the side and slapped Naruto’s hip. “Roll over,” he said.



“Fuck that, bastard, get back here!” Naruto said, his voice a little hoarse.



Sasuke neatly evaded Naruto’s grasping hands – something which surprised him more than a little, since he was fairly sure some of those muscles had been liquidised a few moments earlier – and twisted so he was straddling Naruto and leaning over him, staring into blue eyes from less than two inches away.



“I want to fuck you,” he said, “but I can’t think with my dick in your mouth. Roll. Over.”



Watching Naruto’s face change from irritated belligerence to unashamed lust had to be one of the most arousing things Sasuke had ever seen.

“I can’t roll over when you’re sitting on top of me, jerk.”



. . . it was just a shame that Naruto had to ruin it by talking.



Sasuke just rolled his eyes and slid off Naruto, rescuing the tube of lubricant before Naruto could kick it off the bed. Naruto made a big show of rolling over, tossing mock-sultry glances over his shoulder as one leg slid over the other until he was kneeling face-down on the bed, all muscle and bedroom eyes and badly-hidden grin.



It was Naruto, and it was sexy, and that was a thought Sasuke had been avoiding for years in the hopes of retaining some form of sanity. He’d obviously jumped in the deep end, though, so he might as well have a good swim.



Shifting behind Naruto on the bed, Sasuke squeezed some more lubricant onto his fingers. What he’d had on there to begin with had mostly rubbed off, but the tube looked relatively new so there was definitely more than enough left. Spreading the cheeks of Naruto’s arse with his other hand, he pushed two fingers into the other man.



Naruto pressed back, his voice a little breathless as he said, “Impatient much?”



“Shut up, idiot,” Sasuke muttered, fascinated by the sight of his fingers disappearing into Naruto’s body. The fine hairs surrounding Naruto’s arse tickled at his skin, but inside was hot and velvety smooth, and even though Naruto was obviously making a conscious effort to relax his muscles he was still incredibly tight. At the rate Naruto healed, he was probably always going to be this tight, and the thought made Sasuke’s cock twitch.



To distract himself from that thought, Sasuke allowed his gaze to wander over the mounds of Naruto’s arse itself, fingers still pumping and scissoring inside the other man. Looking at the tanned skin and taut muscles, he surprised himself by acting on his earlier impulse to lean down and bite.



Naruto yelped comically, arse clenching around Sasuke’s fingers, so Sasuke licked the bite in a sort of apology, mouthing the skin in a wet, sloppy parody of a kiss. The muscle pressed against his teeth and tongue in a way that made him want to bite down again, gather as much of it into his mouth as he could and suck until this time, he left a hickey.



“Sasuke. . . .” Naruto said, his voice shaky, “Did you just bite me?”



Sasuke smirked to himself. “You have a very biteable arse,” he said, as dignified as he could manage with his fingers up his best friend’s butt.



Naruto twisted his head until one blue eye was visible, glowering over his shoulder. “If that was supposed to be a compliment, it was a really fucking shitty one,” he said.



Sasuke grinned, and bit his arse again.



It didn’t take long before Sasuke was satisfied with the amount of stretching he’d given Naruto. He pulled his fingers out, wiping them on the covers before reaching for the tube of lubricant. Naruto got there first, though, and kissed Sasuke as he spread the clear gel over Sasuke’s cock.



“I want to ride you,” Naruto breathed against his mouth.



The mental image was appealing, but— “I want you on your back.”



Naruto scowled at him, hand stilling on his cock. “Bastard, what’s wrong with me riding you?”



Sasuke scowled back. “Nothing. I just want you on your back.”



“Why the fuck does that mean I can’t ride you?”



Sasuke could see this going rapidly downhill unless he came up with a compromise. “Let me fuck you on your back, and I’ll ride you later,” he said.



Naruto’s eyes went wide. “You mean that?” he said, after a pause.



“Yes.”



Naruto grinned and flopped backwards without a word, spreading his legs.



Sasuke smirked back, and grabbed one leg to push it up towards Naruto’s chest. “Hold that,” he said, and slid his hands down Naruto’s chest to his hips as the blond man complied. Gripping Naruto’s arse firmly, he lined himself up and pressed, slowly, gently, determined to feel every inch of it even if that did make Naruto glower at him half-heartedly, his heel digging into Sasuke’s shoulder in a (futile) attempt to draw him closer.



They were both panting as the head passed Naruto’s opening. Squeezing his eyes shut, Sasuke tried to retain his hold on his control – and fucking hell, it had been far too long since he’d last done this. Naruto was still so tight it was like Sasuke hadn’t stretched him at all, and it suddenly occurred to him that with Naruto’s healing factor, every time must hurt like a son of a bitch at first. Out of some half-formed feeling of obligation, Sasuke stopped with the head just past the opening even though every part of his body was urging him to thrust.



“I’m not a fucking girl, bastard,” Naruto growled, his voice slightly too high. Sasuke opened his eyes to find Naruto glowering at him, mouth open as he panted, the fingers of his free hand twisted in the sheets. Naruto grinned a little. “I like it when it hurts a bit,” he said. “Not much, though,” he added hastily. “And I’m not gonna break.”



Sasuke twitched his shoulder. “Whatever you say, idiot,” he said, and thrust.



Naruto yelled something incoherent, digging his head into the pillows. Through the haze of arousal fogging his mind, Sasuke figured he must have hit Naruto’s prostate, and thrust again at the same angle. Naruto moaned, the muscles of his arse clenching around Sasuke’s cock, and let go of his leg so he could plant his foot on the bed, giving him enough leverage to thrust his hips up to meet Sasuke’s.



With Sasuke still gripping Naruto’s arse, the shift in their position was awkward. He slid his hands up around Naruto’s hips, gliding from Naruto’s butt cheeks to his hipbones and over his stomach as he kept thrusting. It was incredible, to see his cock moving in and out of Naruto, with Naruto’s own dick standing proud and bobbing slightly with the movement of their bodies, Naruto’s skin hot under his fingers, sweating lightly.



“That tickles, b-bastard,” Naruto gasped, squirming a little.



“Shut up, Naruto,” Sasuke said, putting a little extra force behind his next thrust.



Naruto moaned. “Make me, Sasuke,” he said.



Growling, Sasuke lunged forwards and kissed Naruto, bending the other man in a way that had to be uncomfortable. He and Naruto were almost exactly the same height, which was perfect for a sixty-nine, but not so great for kissing while he was inside Naruto’s arse.



Naruto didn’t seem to care at all, however, wrapping himself around Sasuke like an octopus – his legs hooked behind Sasuke’s back, one hand clenching in his hair while the other dug nails into his shoulder. Naruto’s cock pressed against his stomach, leaving a damp trail as it moved across his skin with every thrust. Sasuke gave up on any semblance of control, toes digging into the mattress for purchase as he kissed Naruto, tongue scraping over his teeth and hands entwined in his hair.



Sasuke was getting close, the tight, clenching heat encasing his dick driving him inexorably towards the edge. From the hitch in Naruto’s breath, he was fairly sure Naruto wasn’t far off either, but that was secondary to the heat of Naruto’s body and the sweaty slide of their skin, Naruto’s harsh pants into his mouth and—



Sasuke froze just as the bedroom door opened.



Naruto moaned a little, whacking him weakly on the back. “What the fuck did you stop for?” he slurred, then paused and opened his eyes. “Oh. Hi, Neji!”



I am a dead man, Sasuke thought. It would take precious seconds to extract himself from Naruto’s grip – and Naruto’s body – seconds in which Neji would have every opportunity to attack. He braced himself for burning pain in his chakra points, and spared a moment to wonder whether it was sick that he was still hard—



“Naruto . . . what are you doing?”



Okay, so Neji doesn’t sound mad. . . . That means nothing. He’s a Hyuuga, and from the branch house, no less. If he doesn’t want to sound mad then he won’t.



Naruto leaned up, sticking his chin over Sasuke’s shoulder. “Happy birthday, dickhead! I got you a present!” he said, and slapped Sasuke on the back.



Oh, hell no.



TBC



Part two tomorrow! ^_^