Who The Hell Calls at 3am

A/N-Hi folks. Im Ramek. You might remember me from such angsty fics as Broken Will and Til Death Do Us Part. Today I am here to bring you another fic. Now this tome, Im stopping all other fics and priorotiseng this one. I wish to complete it before boxing day. Cos it's a christmas fic...everyone is writing one these days...I cant miss out...if i do, ill have to wait another year! Slight OOCness. And this fic is AU. Ninja's dont exist. Sasuke lives in a three bed house that he inherited from his twice removed cousing when she died of unknown causes.

Disclaimer Masashi Kishimoto has better things to do than write fics like this. Im not Masashi holiness. I do not own Naruto and im not maing money off this fic as if i could anyway

PairingNeji and...someone...cant decide...maybe Sasuke! yes! Its a yaoi fic!

Sasuke was sleeping. He was lying on his bed...eyes half open, yet fast asleep. He was wearing nothing but a pair of black boxers and one those whaddayacallits that cover your eyes when you sleep. He was sleeping on top of the blanket. It was winter. And his body temparature was climbing. His house always warmed up during winter. But this was ridiculous. It was boiling. In the middle of December. He turned over several times, straining to find a comfortable position to sleep in. In the end, he got up and went downstairs.

Pouring himself a glass of ice cold mango juice, he went and sat down in the lounge, flicking the tv on. He looked at the clock on the wall. It was nearly 3am. As the TV came to life, the sound activated first. Loud pleasure filled moans were radiating from the black box, filling the Uchiha's mind with dirty images. Then those images showed up on the screeen. In a flash he changed the channel. He sat on the hair, traumatised...the things two horny teenagers can get up to in front of a cheap camera...

The phone rang. What? Who the hell was calling him at this hour? Who the hell was awake at this hour? He waited till the seventh ring before picking up the phone. This has better npt be Sakura or Ino or someother fan girl...

"Hello?" Sasuke paused trying to seehear? if he could remember the voice...it rang a bell but brought no instant memories?

Sasuke:Yes...Uchiha Sasuke speaking."

"Sasuke...you're awake."

Sasuke:It appears so. Who's this speaking?"

"Um...it's me."

Sasuke:Sorry, I don't know anyone called 'Um...it's me'"

"He. Typical Uchiha. Sarcastic as hell."

Sasuke:So are you gonna tell me who you are? Im not getting any younger over here and this call is costing me."

"sigh Sasuke, It's me Neji. Hyuuga Neji"

Excuse me. /FANBOY MOMENT FANBOY MOMENT/ squeeeeel...returning to the story.

Sasuke:Neji? What the hell are you doing calling me now? I haven't spoken to you in three years and you choose three am as the perfect time to call me?"

"Well...you see...It's kind of urgent. Something has has happened and..Im kinda desperate...and I need help"

Sasuke:Um...I still have no idea what's going on...are you drunk?"

"Do I sound drunk to you?"

Sasuke:Well no..."

"Question answered."

Sasuke:Uh huh. Now what's goin on?I can just see that phone bill..--"

"Well...like I said, something happened."

Sasuke:Neji, you're going round in circles. Just tell mewhat's going on so I can help you already."

"sigh My uncle kicked me out."

Sasuke:Who? Hiashi?"

"That's the man."

Sasuke:What? Why?"

"I can't explain it here!"

Sasuke:What? Where are you? Are you outside? You must be freezing!"

"Oh well...I'll live..for about an hour or so."

Sasuke:Well I still don't see any reason to care..."

"You must care, otherwise you would have cut the call by now."

Sasuke:...

"Hello?"

Sasuke:...

"I know you're still there."

Sasuke:No I'm not.

"Baka."

Sasuke:Blind man.

"Chicken Hair."

Sasuke:Sexless.

"She-male"

Sasuke: Oh, listen to us flirting on the phone.Look, what's happening.

"Basically, I need a place to stay for the night..."

Sasuke contemplated...and contemplated...

Sasuke:Should I have pork of Miso ramen tomorrow, I-I just can't decide.

"Sasuke!"

"Nah, Im just kiddin ya. You can come and stay here if you want."

"Perfect. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist my sex appeal."

"What? We haven't mentioned sex. We haven't even implied it."

"Whatever."

BEEEEEEEEEEEEP. You have ended your call of twenty minutes you have been charged the yen equivilant of $50. Goodnight.

Sasuke grumbled. He hate his phone service so much. But he hated Neji more for calling him in the first place. He out the phone down and waited. He was still in his boxers. Oh well...It was too hot in his house anyway.

Twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang. Sasuke opened the door, only to be hit by a gust of freezing air, stinging his bare body. Standing in the doorway, was Hyuuga Neji. He was wearing a long leather coat with a furry hood. He was standing in the doorway, his misty eyes running long lenghts up and down Sasuke's body...not that that has anything to do with anything...

"Hey." said Sasuke.

"Neji merely nodded. Then there's the other thing he siad."Thanks."

"Whatever. Get in. Im freezing."

Neji stepped in. He took off his coat and hung it by the rack by the door. Inside, he was wearing a black poloneck shirt and a pair of faded jeans. His hair was long as ever, reaching right down to his waist. There was a small bruise on his jaw. He looked into the lounge.

"Wow...Uchiha Sasuke...putting up a christmas tree...and answering the door half naked. Is this some kind of new way of life for you?"

Sasuke just grunted and walked into the lounge. He sat back down. "One. Im half naked cos it's boiling in this house.Two. That tree's been up since last year. I've just never been bothered to remove it."

"Suuuure. Admit it. You were hoping someone would bring you a present weren't you?"

"Neji, It's three days till christmas. If anyone were to give me a gift, they would have already done so."

Neji sat on the sofa next to Sasuke. "Is that a hint of disappointment in your voice?"

Sasuke sighed. "Well what do you expect? I've had no proper family for six years, and the last descent christmas present I got was from that guy who lives next door. Too bad he had to go and die."

Neji felt a wave of sympathy for Sasuke. Uchiha's parents had died when he was 11, and his brother had moved away to another country to escape the grief. He had been left with this house and a stash of money. Neji's father had been shot but at least he still had his mother...till she was shot too. He had been living with his uncle and cousins, Hinata and Hanabi then this had to happen.

"So what exactly happened?" said Sasuke

"Oh. My uncle threw me out."

"Yea, I know that, but why?"

"I've been a baaad boy."

"That's it. Im going to sleep." Sasuke got up and began to walk away.

"Sasuke wait!"

"What? Suddenly you're desperate to tell me?"

"No...I just wanna know where I'm sleeping."

"Oh. Come with me."

tbc.

that's it for now. This fic WILL be done by Boxing Day. It will I tell you. It wil.

ahem