God hates me

Dedicated to... Mizukage, my beta! I luv you!

To everybody: It's my first English fic so I'm a bit nervous. Please review so I know if you

like it or no. Oh, and if you want to flame, do as you like. I don't care... I just cry my

eyes out all night long.


'...' Narutos thoughts

CHAPTER ONE

'God hates me,' he thought. His little boat was in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by

endless ocean. So far the clear sky was getting darker, more clouds were appearing, and the

blowing wind turned from warm breezes into cold gusts. Suddenly, a streak of bright

lightning flashed across the sky, and about 3 seconds later a loud crash of thunder was

heard.

Naruto shuddered. He had left his hometown, determined to become the greatest sailor of all

the seas. Not caring about equipment or supplies, he stole a boat and set out sailing,

heading... anywhere other than where he had been. Now he was stuck out here (well...

wherever that 'here' was in the vast ocean), shivering in the cold wind from the nearing

storm, without food or water... or paddles as a matter of fact...yeah... life was so

beautiful.

The boy felt like he was on the edge of starvation- he hadn't eaten for almost eight hours,

and he was sure that it was a world record. He closed his eyes and lied in the bottom of the

boat, between the rowing benches, and contemplated his luck (or rather lack of). The sea was

getting rougher, and the rocking of the boat lulled him to sleep.

The blond boy didn't see the ship sailing in his direction, nor the people screaming on

board and pointing their fingers at him. When the larger boat got closer, long hooks came

down from the ship and pulled the lifeboat near the side. Two men jumped down and hauled the

sleeping boy on board to show him to the captain.

The tall man with long black silky hair smiled coldly, his crimson eyes shining with

excitement.
"Take him to my cabin," he ordered. Two men nodded and carried the teen under the deck.

Naruto was fast asleep and oblivious to everything that was happening.

#.#

The storm was rough and furious. Tall waves were throwing the ship from side to side, almost

sinking it. Every member of the crew was working desperately as they tried to save the boat

and their lives (this order was decided by captain). The only thing keeping them from being

washed over were the security ropes round their hips. After three hours of heroic fighting

they left the stormy sea behind and finally reached calmer water.

The ship had some minor damages, but it was nothing serious. Ordinary people may say that it

was a miracle that nobody died and the ship was still able to sail. But on this boat, with

THIS captain, it was far from being unusual- they had survived much greater dangers without

so much as a scratch. . And their lives were always full- they were pirates, after all.

#.#

Naruto was feeling great. A bit hungry, but great. Surrounded by a warm blanket, on a cozy

bed, with strong arms around him... with...strong arms...around...him? (30 seconds for

thinking)
'WHAT THE FUCK?!?' ('effect of thought process')

He carefully opened his eyes only to see a ribcage. And he could tell that it was definitely

not a feminine one. It was way too broad and muscled to belong to a woman,) but the skin was

almost snow-white, which made it look more delicate. Oh and there were no breasts.
There were pale pink nipples and trail of black hair, which started near man's bellybutton

and disappeared under fabric of his dark trousers; it looked really dark in comparison with

his creamy skin.

"Like what you see?" a calm voice asked, and the boy jumped in surprise realizing he was

staring. He turned his head to look in the man's face and saw a pair of big, blood red eyes

watching him and sly smile across narrow slightly open lips. For a moment he watched other

man's face. Then suddenly realizing that his chest was bare (where the hell was his shirt

and jacket?!?), being hugged in a bed by a half-naked MAN.


Naruto pulled back, falling from the bed and landing hard on his ass. Then, still not

standing up, he scooted back until his shoulders hit the opposite wall. Well, considering

that it was fairly small cabin he had crawled only about 2 meters from the edge of the bed.

After thinking for a short while, he decided that there wasn't enough free space between

them so he slowly stood up and reached for the door handle; only to find out the door was

locked.
OH SHIT

Itachi couldn't help but smile. Blond boy was surprised, shocked and scared, all those

feelings shown clearly in his beautiful, big, blue eyes. Lithe tanned body with slightly

muscled stomach and arms, was one of the most exciting things he had ever seen in his whole

life. And you can believe me- he saw a lot.

They were both silent for few minutes. Naruto staring at Itachi, enraged blue eyes locked

with calm and amused crimson ones. Blond opened his mouth to ask (“What the hell I'm doing

here?!”) but only gasped loudly as Itachi raised from the bed. Three fast steps and he was

standing right before the boy, his hand on Naruto’s chin, caressing it gently with his

thumb.

“Are you scared?” he asked not stopping his finger movement. When Naruto didn't answer he

smiled but his eyes remained emotionless. “I bet you are” thumb moved down and now was

pressed against middle of blondes’ bottom lip, caressing it lightly. “You don't know where

you are... how you got here... or who I am... right?” Stupefied Naruto only nodded.

Itachi’s lips curled up in a smile as he sighed with satisfaction, patting the boy’s head

with his hand and moving slightly away. The man turned around reaching into half open

closet, finding what he was searching for. When he faced Naruto once again, he was holding

black silk shirt and matching vest.

“Here you are, your clothes were kinda wet. I removed them so you wouldn't catch a cold.” he

said, handing boy the clothes. After moment of silence, where Naruto remained motionless,

Itachi watched him, waiting for something. Finally raven-haired man asked, "Don't you wanna

get dressed?"

After 10 seconds Naruto finally realized he was talked to. He shrugged and started to put

the clothes on. In the meanwhile, captain once again reached for the closet and now was

dressing into black shirt with red pattern near the hem and a vest, much the same as the one

given to the boy.

"It's slightly too big, but I don't have anything smaller." Itachi told him when they were

fully clothed once again, examining the boy curiously. "You'll just have to bare with it for

a while as your clothes are drying."

"Thank you." Those were the first words Naruto has spoken while on-board. He was still a bit

shocked but his self-confidence was once again live and kicking. "So... who you are?"

Watching the man on the bed cautiously he asked "Maybe... my kidnapper?"

Itachi smiled. "Rescuer rather. I'm Itachi, captain of this ship. We picked you up from a

lifeboat while you were unconscious" He grabbed a chair standing near a small desk and sat

on it gesturing towards second one. "And you are?"

Naruto took the invitation and when sated said: "The name’s Naruto! I'm seventeen and I LOVE

ramen!" He nodded confirming his own words, grinning widely.

"And if I may ask... what were you doing in that boat?"

Boy, still grinning, replied, "Well, sailing of course!"
"..." Itachi commented

"What?" boy asked curiously

"No... nothing" the man said trying to compose himself before asking "And where were you

sailing to?"

Naruto answered stopping smiling and there was a minute of awkward silence before Itachi

spoke.
"OK, I understand" This sentence was followed by a smirk which pissed Naruto.

"Like hell you understand! I'm going to be the best sailor in the seven seas!" He was once

again on his feet, standing before the man gesturing widely, obstinately. “You never know,

maybe I’ll even join the Navy and become the general! I'm gonna hunt those bastard pirates

and hang them all! Muahahaha!" Evil, cheeky laugh echoed in the silence as the captain was

staring at him without reaction.

"By the way..." Naruto asked calmer, while looking around "What kind of ship is this one?"

"A pirate one." Itachi was a little too casual in his reply.

"..." ('gulp') Blonds throat suddenly became dry as a desert... a very dry desert if I may

add.
A wide malicious grin graced captains face as he watched teen before him who was looking

very lost and uncomfortable- like a pig in a ham factory.
The Naruto asked with uncertain smile on his lips:
"You know I was joking about the hanging... right?"

#.#


'Well... God really must HATE ME!'

They were sitting for almost five minutes, both motionless and quiet. And maybe they would

remain there till The Dooms Day but suddenly someone knocked loudly on the door. Without

turning his head, still glaring at Naruto and yet smiling evilly at the same time, Itachi

said, "Come in. Use the spare key, the doors are locked."

Something cracked and the door swung open. On the other side of them, in long and narrow

corridor, there was standing a boy or rather a young man. About 19 years old, very pale with

shoulder-length black spiky hair and... crimson eyes?

'Another one?' Naruto thought

"Aniki! Boatswain Kakashi told me that we found someone. Is that true or..." he saw Naruto

and suddenly became quiet. He stared at him, his cheeks bright red (blushing is really

visible on such a fair complexion), lips half-open to pronounce words which froze somewhere

in his brain. Itachi coughed lightly.

"You want something, little brother?" Cold eyes eventually left Narutos face, shifting to

paler one.
'Oh so they're brothers.' boy thought.

"Aniki, can I have him?" younger brother requested.

'...WHAT?!'

"Well I was thinking about keeping him for myself..." captain spoke slowly.

'...pardon...?' it all was way too complicated for Narutos poor brain.

"Oh please Aniki! I want him! I'll take care of him!"
'What am I... a dog?'
One perfectly shaped brow raised as Itachi was musing over his brother plea.
"If you insist" came the answer.
'Huh?!'
"Thank you Aniki!" Dark eyes shined full of excitement and thankfulness as Sasuke closed the

distance between him and Itachi and hugged him to express his gratitude.

'...I don’t think I can follow this conversation.'

"But I'm going to play with him too, so don't be jealous."

'...' thinking was definitely not Narutos strongest point.

" OK Aniki, I won't. Thank you!"
Itachi petted Sasukes head and turned to speak to Naruto:

"You'll stay with him for the time being. His name's Sasuke, and he’s my younger brother so

I hope you'll get along well." His facial expression changed from warm and friendly into

evil and sly. "Or I might suddenly remember someone saying something about hanging

pirates..." he gave Naruto some time so his words would sink into boys’ brain. "Do I make

myself clear?" It wasn't a question. It was an order.

'He's a psycho! I'd better agree or he'll do something really bad to me!' thought Naruto

fearfully and answered quickly.
"Yes!"

Meanwhile Sasuke knelt before the stunned Naruto and cupped his head with his palms.

"So... Naruto-kun I hope we'll get along well and have fun."

He leaned forward and kissed him on the lips sucking blonde’s bottom lip gently.

' . . . ' ('brain-mode off')

"Are you all right? Ne, Naruto-kun?" Sasuke waved his hand before boys eyes but there was no

response. "Aniki, what’s wrong with him?"

"Give him some time Sasuke. I'm sure he'll react in... let’s say 10 seconds,"said Itachi

with voice full of confidence, covering his ears with his palms.

#.#

10 seconds later, every crewmember on the ship jumped in shock when they heard somebody

scream. They all were experienced pirates and they heard many people scream in pain, fear or

agony but this one was different. It sounded like a mad demon stomped on a sharp piece of

glass.

They had about 5 seconds to think about it when somebody jumped from the door leading under

the deck. It was the blond boy they picked up earlier. Now dressed in the captain’s clothes,

he was running in circles searching for some way to escape... Kind of a hard task in the

middle of an ocean, if you ask me...


Well that's it for chapter one... Review?