Inbred

"Dammit, Naruto. Move faster."

The truth was he couldn't go any faster and he was already at his limit. He was too excited to get much sleep last night and he was now feeling the consequences of the insomnia this morning. Naruto groaned weakly and forced his body to continue it's automatic movements, it wasn't long before he slowed and his eyelids began to droop. He was rudely awakened by a pair of jeans pants crashing into the side of his head.

"Naruto, move your ass or you'll miss your flight."

The teen boy sighed heavily and forced his body to shove more clothing into the suitcase that was rapidly becoming packed to its capacity. His Auntie was right, he didn't have much more than two hours before his plane was scheduled to take off and there was still some light packing to be done. He should have finished his preparations last night, he should have, but he didn't.

His friends, or it would be more appropriate to say his 'school-mates', had decided to throw a going-away party for him and while Naruto was one to enjoy a good shindig he knew, deep-down, that the party wasn't really for him. College kids were like that, they didn't need an excuse to throw a party but having a legitimate reason to have one allowed them to dip into 'Collegiate petty-cash' as it were, without them having to pull their own pockets. Needless to say it was a pretty big shibang. But no, the real reason they threw this party for 'dead-last Naruto' was so that the head of the student Council, Ino (Ms. Fucking Perfect) Yamanaka could pull Naruto aside and beg him to give Sasuke her e-mail address.

Everyone knew Naruto had a crush on Ino, even Ino knew Naruto had a crush on Ino but the girl just looked down her snobby nose at him and used his emotions to get 'favours' from the boy. Love is blind. It wasn't until after Sasuke showed up that Naruto realized Ino was hanging around him more often and actually behaved civil towards him. Naruto thought she had finally come around to his suave charm and winning personality but he soon found out that the only reason she hung around 'that filthy, little loser' (Hey! Her words,) was so she could get closer to Sasuke. Naruto was so sorry that Ms. Prim and Proper had to soil her hands with him before she could get to her desired prize.

The second Naruto left the party he tore up the little slip of pink paper Ino had given him and tossed it into the trash.

He grabbed a handful of nearby boxers and angrily stuffed them into his suitcase.

Naruto had never been so hurt in his entire life, well that was a lie. Alot of people had taken advantage of him in the past but right now this pain took precedence over all others. He had wanted to hate Sasuke, the boy who had become the bane of his existence since they first met but yet, while they were rivals, he was still his best friend. He just had to come to grips with the fact that it wasn't easy being the best friend of the most popular person at school. The fake smiles, the pretentious friendships, the empty promises.

Naruto wasn't aware that he had stopped moving until the woman next to him threw another pair of jeans pants at his head. Naruto took the time to finally and officially acknowledge the much older woman with a glare.

"Stop daydreaming you little brat and pack!" She all but screeched before stomping off into the bathroom to gather necessary toiletries.

The boy angrily tugged the clothing from atop his head before shouting after the woman with the intent of ruffling her feathers. "Stop throwing my stuff you old hag!" That did it. He heard a clatter in the adjoining room, most likely something she dropped in her anger, before she appeared in the doorway with both hands pressed firmly against the aperture with a dangerous expression on her face and Naruto immediately regretted his insult. He was in no mood to fight right now especially in his exhausted state and if his opponent was Tsunade he was going to need all his energy.

Looking at the buxom beauty before him, no one would ever be able to tell she was in her early-fifties. It was amazing what plastic surgery could do, although Naruto was quite sure she went way over-board with her boob-job (which she swears on her life are her real breasts). Naruto wasn't sure, they looked real enough but everytime he tried to get close enough to check she'd beat the shit out of him, which was probably what she was going to do now by the look on her face.

"Listen here you little punk," she growled taking a menacing step in his direction, Naruto didn't even attempt to move. "Your plane leaves in exactly one hour and thirty-five minutes," she closed the distance between them and Naruto could feel her warm breath on his collar-bone. "I know this is very important to you, that's why I'm not gonna kick your ass up and down San Francisco Avenue, but unless you get your ass in gear and keep that smart mouth of yours shut I'm gonna put your scrawny little ass on that plane in a gurney. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

All Naruto could do was nod and stare wide-eyed and as she turned away he let out the shuddering breath he hadn't realized he was holding through her rant.

"Hey, Hey Tsunade will you calm down please and watch your temper." Naruto looked up to the silver-haired man who had made himself visible at the bedroom door. "You know, if you scowl like that all your wrinkles are gonna come back," he teased. The tiffed woman just flashed him a perfectly manicured middle finger before huffing back into the bathroom.

"What's her problem?" The old man asked nodding his head in her direction.

"My problem is that lazy little shit over there," Tsunade yelled, her voice resounding within the small room. "I knew he'd wait until the last minute...before...stupid..." her voice trailed off as she tried to concentrate on which items Naruto would probably need for his emigration, the sound of drawers and cupboard doors opening and slamming drowning out whatever else she was murmuring under her breath.

Naruto sighed and zipped his suitcase which was now busting at the seams. The old man heard his ward's sound of exasperation and moved over to him. "Bah! Don't let her get to you, she's just 'sexually exasperated' if you know what I mean," he said with a low voice to avoid the woman in the next room from overhearing. "So! You're off to Japan, eh? Kimonos, public baths, geisha, public baths, sake, public baths," the old man was practically drooling and his eyes rolled up comically into his head.

The teen chuckled at his surrogate father. Jiraiya! Now he was an interesting character. Unlike his old flame, Tsunade, Jiraiya was not afraid to let his true age show as was seen in his long, silver hair and wrinkled features. That was one thing Naruto admired so much about him, Jiraiya didn't care what people thought of him or how they perceived him and Naruto grew up to become that way too, unfortunately his mentor was also a big pervert, a 'Super Pervert' according to him, another quality that Naruto developed, a quality he really could do without.

"I'm not going to Japan for those things, Jiraiya," the blond grinned. "I'm going to study."

"Pfft! But who says you can't have a little fun, eh?" he nudged the boy with an elbow. "You're still young, live a little," he laughed. "Oh, and before I forget," the elderly man fished into a pocket on his blazer and pulled out a small hand-book which he placed into the teen's outstretched palm. "It's my latest novel," he said with a wink. "You know, for the long and lonely plane ride."

"Jiraiya, don't give the boy your filth," and before Naruto could get a grip onto the piece of literature Tsunade snatched it from his hand and promptly threw it out the open window not caring that it hit a cyclist below causing him to fall from his bike, but before she could even turn around the old man had stealthily handed Naruto another copy which the young boy proceeded to stuff into the front pocket of his blazer.

Another twenty minutes passed before Tsunade was content that Naruto had everything the boy would ever need, much to the relief of both men, they were afraid she'd try to make him take the kitchen sink. They hustled themselves into Jiraiya's cherry, red Pinto before all but speeding to the airport. Naruto hated goodbyes and he hated this one most of all. Tsunade didn't want to let him go and for the first time in his life he had to witness her crying. Yes! Big, bad, kick-you-in-the-nuts-if-you-so-much-as-look-at-her-funny Tsunade and Naruto believed he was more uncomfortable around crying Tsunade than pissed Tsunade. After Jiraiya pried the woman off the young boy he took his turn at a farewell hug.

"So are they real?" he asked in a low voice.

"Oh yeah, definately," the teen replied with a smirk.

After another hug from Tsunade and promising to call, write, e-mail and text-message her every week, Naruto gathered his luggage and began the long, hassling mission which was his departure. He presented his ticket, handed over his baggage and went into the departure lounge to wait for his flight. He had to wait a while, apparently the flight was delayed for some reason or the other but they assured the passengers it wouldn't be very long before they were ready for take-off. They lied.

Naruto, along with forty-three other irate passengers had to wait almost an entire hour before they were informed that there was a problem with one of the engines and that another plane was being prepared for them. The terminal was filled with groans and lots of curse-words Naruto wouldn't care to repeat. Usually he wouldn't worry himself about these things, Naruto could be fairly patient when need be but lack of sleep was finally catching up to him and he didn't want to risk dozing off and missing his flight. He was pretty sure the other travelers would just as soon leave him there than wake him up. He would have read Jiraiya's book but that would be the equivalent of pulling out a playboy magazine so he settled for listening to some heavy-metal music on his mp3 player on full blast.

Half-an-hour later and their plane was ready to go, Naruto didn't bother to turn off his Sansa mp3 player and hummed / danced along near the back of the line, his head bobbing and his fingers skillfully playing an air guitar. He winked and blew a kiss to the very attractive stewardess at the top of the stairs and strutted his stuff into coach. He should have taken up Saskue's offer and gone first class but he had already imposed his friend so far and he didn't want to take advantage of his hospitality. When his song reached the end he turned off the mp3 player and stuffed it into the pocket adjacent to his handy reading material. He checked to see what the in-flight movies were going to be and gagged when he discovered they were chick-flicks. He tried the in-flight radio but was disappointed with the selection between: Country, golden oldies, pop and R & B. He would have pulled out Jiraiya's book but there was a cute girl in the seat just one across from his and he didn't want her to think he was a pervert...just yet. Naruto decided he should finally catch up on his sleep, after all, it was going to be a long flight.