Closed Door Opened Window

A/N: I said I would post this when I was done but I guess I lied. Um.... I plan on finishing this no later than the end of August cause I am very impatient. Um first fic not sure if there will be more depends on how you respond to it. But uh... yea this is really more so for me than anything I just love Menma! Love Naruto with Sasuke, Gaara, Neji, crap I even like him with Itachi if the scene is right but Menma is so sweet and so is Naruto. So here goes.

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN A GOT-**** THANG!! Definitely not Naruto

Warning: Yaoi , Death ( I am so sorry I had to I am a jealous one and I HATE Sasuke with anyone else), Mpreg (its cute *under breath* to me anyways), possible hints at spoilers.

Couples: Implied SasuNaru, MenmaNaruMenma, LeeSaku, KibaHina, ShikaTemari, and KakaIru
This is AU

KuraiKisu: MENMA !!! MUSIC PLEASE!!!!!
Menma: *starts to play* Summer time by DJ Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince
KuraiKisu: O.o um NOT THAT!!! SET THE MOOD!
Menma: *blinks then plays his own tune*
KuraiKisu:Yesh very good AND WE'RE OFF!

Chapter One : Left Behind

Naruto POV:
“It's been 2 years since we married and 4 months since I was widowed....” I lean against the couch in my dark home looking at all my friends who have come to see how I have been doing. Tears slide down my face as I lean against one of my dearest friends and schoolmates, Sakura. She wraps her arms around me and squeezes my shoulders gently. Lee sits next to her looking at me as do the rest of the occupants. My hand subconsciously slides down to the small round bump that is the only proof of my love for my dearly departed husband.

“Sasuke loved you so much I know he wouldn't want you to be like this especially since your mood affects the baby. He did the only thing he thought would protect you and the baby.” Hinata quietly murmurs in my direction. She leans into Kiba as he wraps an arm around her shoulder nodding at me with a comforting nod.

Before I get too far ahead of myself let me clear a few things up for you. My name is Uzumaki Naruto, well, Uchiha-Uzumaki Naruto to be exact, I am 19 years old just entering my 3rd year of college studying politics. I married quite young to my high school sweetheart, Uchiha Sasuke. This was about a 2 year after he was kidnapped by this lunatic of a scientist Orochimaru. The damn snake fanatic thought he would be the perfect candidate for his abominable mind control experiments. At that time I was sure we lost him for good but thanks to my friends and our diligent searches we managed to locate that bastard and have him apprehended. Sadly, not before a large amount of damage was inflicted on Sasuke. On the outside he seemed fine, he responded to life as he always did. He returned to school (caught up with all of his missed work quickly) and resumed life like it never happened. He even became more open to people, which was the only strange thing about him. His interaction with me even started to change and eventually we expressed out feelings to each other this resulted in our coming out and soon to follow courtship. After we graduated we had a commitment ceremony with all our friends present. And all of this happened within the last 5 years. One year of his kidnap, one year of us getting him back, one year of us dating, the last two years marriage and conception. I have had a crazy life so far, huh? Well the last year and a half has been damn near a roller coaster. Like I said that damn bastard was doing mind control experiments and even though he was in jail for 40 to life with no chance of parole somehow he managed to leave a little of himself inside the deep recesses of Sasuke's brain. Because slowly, Sasuke began to show fruits of Orochimaru's labor. Sasuke began to act as though he had another person inside him. One minute he would be stoic the next as creepy as that snake freak. He even talked with a lisp! After almost a year of this weird behavior everyone brought it to his attention with an intervention. That was when he began to distance himself from me. I know he wasn't cheating on me but it seemed like his was a different person completely as if he had been swallowed into another reality. He still acknowledged me and everyone else around him but you just couldn't keep his attention for long. Finally 4 months ago he lulled me into a false security and made love to me for the last time. He killed himself the following morning leaving me a note on my pillow. I still have the letter in the drawer of my nightstand:

Naruto my love,

I can not go on living like this. I am losing myself the longer I am like this. For the past year or so I have tried to find help so that I can be with you without being a danger to you. I hope that last nite will prove to have left you with at least some evidence of my undying love for you. Sadly, I will not be able to see our love flourish. Please don't think I did this because of you rather I did it for you. I have been having horrible, horrendous thoughts that involve causing you bodily harm. I am sure you already know its due to that time I was abducted by that fucking snake. No one seems to know how to reverse the damaged caused. I even went so far as to go to the jackass himself but the idiot never even thought of a reverse procedure. So as not to relent to this new sinister side of myself I am doing the only thing I can think of and that is making sure that I will never be able to harm you or any children that may be brought into this world from last nite. Please keep in mind that I love you with my entire being and if possible please try to move on one day. Although I hate the thought of you being with anyone but me I can not make you suffer for something that you have no part in. It was never your fault and I apologize for any pain I have caused you. If I could I would have spent my entire life and thereafter with just you but maybe ,if God willing I will see you again somewhere else in our afterlife. I love you so much. Goodbye...

Love you always,
Sasuke

I cried for what seemed to be days, but it had only been for 6 hours. Finally Iruka found me huddled up in the corner of my bathroom bawling my eyes out. He told me that they found Sasuke's body in the courtyard of the penitentiary. Seems he overdosed and with his last bit of strength he managed to kill Orochimaru with a gun he a bought several weeks ago. It stills hurts me to think he had been planning this for so long without me even knowing. I just can't bring myself to be mad at him for leaving me. I mean technically he left part of him behind. As I sit here our child is becoming stronger within my body. Oh yeah I almost forgot even in this day and time of technology demons do exist and I happen to have one that is, passed down through my blood line certain side effects are things like this, males being able to conceive and all my friends are aware of it. But not everyone in my family is affected like my Dad. That brings me to my family history, I lost him a few years after I was born , my mom died giving birth and Iruka raised me till I turned 15. From there on I took care of myself with the money from my inheritance. I would work but I am waiting to get to my last year of school so I can start internship. I plan to follow my father's footsteps. I gonna work my way up the political ladder and become governor, I might actually become the first non-corrupt politician in history. But now I am rambling so let me go back to whats going on now.

“Naruto, we all love you so much its hard to see you like this. Sasuke told you he didn't want you like this. You are making yourself suffer. I know its still fresh but you are going to have to try and move on. School starts next week, last semester the school was being lenient with you due to everything happening. They are not going to be so compromising this term around.” Tsunade mentioned to me as she looked at the entire congregation around me. I just nod keeping my eyes on my hands as I slowly rub my unborn child. Tsunade seems harsh at first but I know she is only looking out for me and my dreams. Jiraiya reaches over and ruffles my hair giving me a sympathetic smile before moving over to stand next to Tsunade. Those two both knew my father and would stop by when I was younger to tell me stories about him. Stories that Kakashi ,who happened to have helped raise me alongside his partner Iruka, hadn't filled me in already. All three had some connection with him and made it a point to comfort me with his memory. To this day I still thank them for that.

After about 2 more hours and dinner everyone slowly thin out each going to their respective homes. Soon I am left with just the baby and Pakkun the small pug that Kakashi lent me to keep me company. Small as he is he has served to be a great watch dog but not much for company. I think about calling up one of my friends to come spend the nite, change that one of my SINGLE friends because I don't want to interrupt one of the couple's nites. First I think of Gaara but he is too far away and busy with tons of meeting seeing as he is the mayor of the city 40 miles away (A/N: Youngest mayor EVER). Then I think about Neji but once again too far away. Actually further than Gaara he is somewhere in Europe establishing yet another branch of the Hyuuga conglomerate. Finally, I have no other choice but to call Sai, I consider him a friend and all but something about the way he looks at me and the way he is always making comments about my manhood just really rubs me the wrong way. Not to mention I think he would like to do t hat to me as well. (Shudder). But I get lonely at nite and the loneliness brings back painful memories of a certain someone who should be here with me. I pick the phone up and dial the number hoping that he will not be in his usual mood.

“Hello?” a deep tired voice calls over the receiver.

“Hey....Sai. Did I wake you?” I say hesitantly. I hear some shuffling, obviously he was asleep or heading there. Finally I hear him about to talk again I fidget a little because I just don't want to go through another nite alone in this house. I am starting to think maybe I should sell it and get away from a few of those memories that haunt me.

“Naruto? Hey dickless how you doing? Are you ok?” Sai says in an amused sounding voice. I swear I can hear him smirking. Sometimes I wonder why the hell we are friends anyways. Him knowing I can get pregnant does not seem to deter his constant questioning of my maleness one bit. I decide to ignore the comment and get right to the point because the house seems to be getting darker as the nite gets later.

“Hey Sai do you think you could.....you know...come over and keep me company. I don't really like being here alone.” I tell him. My voice is starting to get shaky and I am hoping he doesn't hear it. But just my luck or maybe more for my luck he does hear it.

“Huh,.....Sure Naruto gimme a few minutes and I can be right over” His voice stops and I can feel my heart pounding in anticipation of him rejecting my request. “Wait my nephew is over here visiting right now...Do you mind if I bring him over as well?” I can feel my breath rush out of my body as he asks me this. I have no problem with him bringing someone else. Lessens the chances of me getting molested or touched.

“Yeah...sure bring him over as well. I can get some snacks and tea ready. The guest rooms are already prepared so just make sure to bring some extra clothes over.” I tell him happily. I didn't know Sai had any siblings but then again I tend to be to distracted with the way he looks at me to remember things he tells me about himself not to mention I don't really try to delve into his past that much. I wouldn't want someone just digging into my past with no consideration with how it would make me feel, so why do it to someone else.

About 40 minutes later there is a soft knocking on my front door and I almost run to get it. I know I am getting better since his death but without Sasuke in this house its like everything screams 'REMEMBER ME'. Its just too creepy and sad at the same time. We bought this house together and without him it doesn't seem to be that welcoming. I open the door to see Sai, thankfully he doesn't have one of his fake smiles on him. I hate the way his face looks when he does that like a mask made of plastic or something. Then I notice another male about 6 inches taller than me, but not as tall as Sai, standing shyly behind Sai. I raise an eyebrow and stretch my neck to see over Sai's shoulder. Thats when Sai catches on and begins to introduce him.

“Oh sorry about that this is my nephew Menma. Remember when I told you about my brother?” I don't,
“Well I didn't know until recently that he had girlfriend and the two ended up having Menma here. His mom got in touch with me a few months ago because she wanted Menma to know more about his father's side of the family and to keep him out of trouble. So, I figured since he is getting ready to enter grad school why not let him visit Konoha U.” He says. And there it is, one of those damn fake ass smiles. I can tell there is more of a back story to this but I don't push it because right now I just want to get them in the house before any bugs get in, nothing worse then being eaten alive by mosquitoes . I usher them into the living room and smile as best I can with all these emotions jumping around inside of me. Now I can get a good look of Menma. He's blond... I really didn't expect that at all not from Sai's family. Its not a bright blond like mine more like a pale blond almost like Ino's. Unlike that harpy's though I actually admire the way it looks. Reminds me of soft hay in the moonlight, I like it. Then he turns around to face me and I look into the most captivating and emotional steel gray eyes I have ever seen in my life. Just looking in his eyes makes me feel like a blanket has been wrapped around me tightly. It scares the HELL outta me at the same time. The gaze we are locked in is thankfully broken when Sai pulls Menma over to a couch and seats himself in the armchair. I shake my head and blush ever so slightly rushing to the kitchen I mutter about the tea under my breath.

About 5 minutes later I come back with 3 cups some sugar, honey, and lemon juice. I set it on the table and sit down on the love seat facing Menma. I try my damnest not to stare at him but I don't think I have ever seen someone so heavenly in my life. He reminds me of a cherubim. I mean Sasuke was more like an Adonis with sex appeal exuding out his every pore but Menma just screams out warmth and sincerity. If it wasn't for Sai being in the room I am not sure if I could keep myself from flirting a little. I still love Sasuke very much so but its like I am being drawn to Menma by some strange pull. Sai looks at me and can tell I am avoiding any glances at Menma and for some reason I think he finds a sick pleasure in making me squirm because thats when he starts to talk.

“So Naruto what do you think of my nephew? You know he is about a year older than you and SINGLE. Since you don't seem to be interested in me.” He says pretending to pout. He leans over in the arm chair and runs a finger down my arm. I quickly pull it away and scowl at him.

“Sai! I can't believe you would say something like that. Its only been 4 months. I am a widower for Christ Sakes!” I almost yell when I say this to him. But knowing someone else is here I manage to say it with just a little force. This for some reason makes him grin a little wider. Not because Sasuke is dead but because he knows that I am not making any attempt to get out of my mourning state alone. Sai has always had a morbid way of showing his concern for others. This time I actually glance over to Menma and I can see there is nothing but sympathy in his eyes. I frown and look down. The last thing I need at this moment is another person feeling sorry for me. I literally have a support team now and even though I appreciate it I am still a man, a pregnant man but a man nonetheless. I don't need everyone coddling me. Thats when I hear it, his voice and I swear someone just hugged me the way it makes my body react.

“Please excuse him. Although I haven't known my uncle as long as you, but I know he means well. I don't think he was trying to offend you. And I am sorry for your loss.” Menma says squirming a little at the tension in the air. He looks at me as he finishes and then looks back down at his cup. Once again I can feel my face heat up a little. Shit, I'm blushing! Widowers are not suppose to blush! They are suppose to cry and mourn their spouses. For a long time.

Truth be told though, I lost Sasuke a lot longer than 4 months I slowly started losing him about a year ago when he began distancing himself from me. The love was still as strong as ever but the space between us did lessen the pain of losing him altogether. I miss him so much and I shudder to think of what pain I would experience if he didn't distance us. At times I wonder if he didn't have that planned as well. Because here I am looking at another man, a man I JUST met and I am attracted to him. I don't lust for him but I can't stop myself from wanting to know more about him. I hope I am not trying to consider him a replacement, that wouldn't be fair to him.

The nite goes by fairly easily after that. Sai apologizes and we all settle into more comfortable conversations. I find out that Menma is a musical genius. He has a scholarship to any grad school of his choice. He is practically a celebrity in Rice Country where he plays concerts and symphonies from time to time. He actually plays several instruments: viola, alto saxophone, cello, and ocarina. Ocarina being his favorite. Menma is so talented. I am truly impressed by his accomplishments. I only hope that he decides to attend Konoha U. In the coming term. With all of this on my mind I am actually able get to sleep without the emptiness enveloping me.

Um...Read it, review it. Lemme know what you. Regardless I am gonna update but if you like my style I might do another fic.