Fairytale Fiasco
folder
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
2
Views:
986
Reviews:
10
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
2
Views:
986
Reviews:
10
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Fairytale Fiasco
Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto or any of the Fairytale characters that will turn up during the course of this story.
But I do own this slice of cake and since it is mine I am going to eat it. So there!
Author’s Note: My muse is being exceptionally picky. Apprently none of the other stories, the ones that haven't been updaed is ages, are good enough for it. This is my attempt to get it working properly again and thus might be kind of odd. Enjoy the utter insanity of it all!
While I try and keep my characters as IC as possible, in this kind of setting there's going to be some oddness. Gomen!
No wolves were hurt in the making of this fanfic… except for the one at the start, but it ate the rest of my cake so nobody cares.
This first chapter is dedicated to limonat. Why? Because your review of Soul Mission amused me greatly. xD And yeah, first reviewer for this story gets the next chapter dedicated to them! 8D You know you want it!
Fairytale Fiasco
“My, what big teeth you have.”
The low voice was laced with murderous intent. The wolf did not notice, it simply leant forward, saliva dripping from its jaws.
“All the better to EAT you with –gyaaargh!”
The wolf’s word (a wolf that was dressed rather oddly in a bonnet and frilly nightgown) became an incomprehensible gargle. It fell back upon the bed in a twitching heap, blood pouring from the wound in its neck and soaking into the sheets.
As the wolf’s eyes lost their light, the red clothed figure standing beside the bed wiped the killing knife clean.
“When will you learn?” The figure lifted the knife and inspected it carefully, making sure there wasn’t a drop of red left. “Stupid creature.”
From the shadows that the red hood created, a white smile flashed.
“Red Riding Hood has delivered you back to the wild woods of hell.”
~-~
Once the carcass had been discarded outside, ‘Red’ sat back in an armchair and put his feet up. The cottage stunk of blood, a lot of which was still congealing upon the bed. The hood was pushed back to reveal a pale, sharp angled face. It was a pretty face, but certainly belonged to a male. Black hair hung in messy bangs, but couldn’t quite cover the glaring, dark eyes.
Red Riding Hood: Wolf Hunter of the Dark Forest was getting tired of his self appointed job. This wolf had been number sixty-seven and the story was always the same. Place decoy grandma, pretend to be an innocent young girl with a basket full of goodies, slay wolf.
The fury idiots never seemed to learn. The complete lack of challenge made the whole process remarkably tedious.
He needed a break.
Maybe a trek to the seaside? No, that would ruin his complexion. In any case, he would leave the Dark Forest, home of wolves and witches, and see what else the world held. A journey was just what the doctor ordered for a bored mind.
He would even take back his old name, the one he had before he’d gotten into the wolf slaying business; Sasuke.
Mind made up, he gathered what he would need, lifted his hood and disappeared into the forest.
~-~
The two children were arguing.
They stood blocking Sasuke’s path, not noticing him even when he cleared his throat in an attempt to get their attention.
It was obvious that they were brother and sister, the resemblance was uncanny; the same brown eyes, the same brown hair and even the same shabby, worn clothing.
“You were supposed to leave a trail of crumbs!”
“I left the trail of crumbs last time. It was your turn!”
“That’s a damn lie!”
“I couldn’t leave a trail, okay?”
“Why the heck not?!”
“Because, if you’d bothered to look, father only gave as a tomato.”
“So?”
“So, I can’t make a crumb trail out of a tomato!”
“You could have told me we only had a tomato!”
“You were telling me about when you met one of the seven dwarfs. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“You’re impossible!” The boy finally threw his hands up in exasperation. “Thanks to you now we’re really lost in the forest and – oh crap.”
Sasuke had finally been noticed. The two kids stared at the newcomer mouths slightly ajar. From the depths of his hood, Sasuke stared back, no longer amused by their stupidity. Kids+lost=pleas for help.
Sasuke shifted slightly as he prepared to leave. That small movement was enough to knock the girl from her stupor. She began to cry.
“Whaaaaa!” Please, m-me a-and m-my brother…” She covered her face with her hands, her words becoming incomprehensible.
“We’re lost you see miss.” The boy had caught onto the game and was giving Sasuke a winning smile. Unfortunately for the boy, he had ruined whatever small chance he might have had by calling Sasuke ‘miss’.
Despite the fact that Sasuke’s job revolved around being mistaken for a girl, when not luring wolves to their deaths he could get pretty touchy.
“I’m not-“ His growl was rudely cut off.
Little hands grabbed at his cloak, tugging at the fabric and crinkling it. “P-please h-help.”
Sasuke scowled and then had a light bulb moment.
When he spoke his voice was sugary sweet and as girlish as he could manage. “There’s a special house made of gingerbread nearby. A lovely woman lives there, she would be happy to help you find the way home.”
“A gingerbread house?” The boy asked with a small frown.
“Indeed. Just down this path, you’ll come across a small trail leading off to the right. Follow it and you’ll find the house.” As he spoke Sasuke pried the little grils hands from his clothing.
“Well gee, thanks miss.”
“Not a problem. Now, I have to collect herbs for my sick grannie.” He swept past them, hurrying away down the path. As soon as he was far enough away he slowed down, rolling his eyes. “Hn, idiots.”
~-~
The path eventually led him out of the Dark Forest and into a lighter, happier one. The abundance of singing birds and talking wildlife was making Sasuke a little nauseous.
“Excuse me good person.” A cheery voice spoke from somewhere very close. Sasuke stopped and it took him a moment to realize that the voice was coming from a squirrel standing next to his foot.
“… what?”
The squirrel smoothed its whiskers, apparently trying to look important. “I would advise you to change your course.”
“... why?”
“There are BEARS that way.”
“…”
The squirrel gave a knowing nod of its head.
Sasuke, who had never once taken the advice of a squirrel, was not about to start now. “I’ll take my chances.”
He continued walking, but the tree climbing rodent did not relent.
“Good person, you mustn’t! Oh, good person!” Goo- Eeeeek!”
The squirrel suddenly found itself missing a tail. It flopped over in the dirt wailing and Sasuke kept going. As he walked he cleaned the knife on his cloak.
~-~
The place that the path led him to was impressively large, for a cottage at least. Rose bushes led up to the front door, which was painted a bright, eye hurting orange.
Sasuke considered the door for a while and then walked casually over. It was already partly open and noises could be heard from inside; the heavy stamping of feet as people scurried back and forth.
Then a voice, petulant, loud and whiny.
“This ramen is too hot!”
~-~
Who is the owner of the myterious voice? Will the squirrel live? Is there an old woman somewhere with two kids being held captive in her gingerbread house? What will happen next on Fairytale Fiasco?! -cue dramatic music-
But I do own this slice of cake and since it is mine I am going to eat it. So there!
Author’s Note: My muse is being exceptionally picky. Apprently none of the other stories, the ones that haven't been updaed is ages, are good enough for it. This is my attempt to get it working properly again and thus might be kind of odd. Enjoy the utter insanity of it all!
While I try and keep my characters as IC as possible, in this kind of setting there's going to be some oddness. Gomen!
No wolves were hurt in the making of this fanfic… except for the one at the start, but it ate the rest of my cake so nobody cares.
This first chapter is dedicated to limonat. Why? Because your review of Soul Mission amused me greatly. xD And yeah, first reviewer for this story gets the next chapter dedicated to them! 8D You know you want it!
“My, what big teeth you have.”
The low voice was laced with murderous intent. The wolf did not notice, it simply leant forward, saliva dripping from its jaws.
“All the better to EAT you with –gyaaargh!”
The wolf’s word (a wolf that was dressed rather oddly in a bonnet and frilly nightgown) became an incomprehensible gargle. It fell back upon the bed in a twitching heap, blood pouring from the wound in its neck and soaking into the sheets.
As the wolf’s eyes lost their light, the red clothed figure standing beside the bed wiped the killing knife clean.
“When will you learn?” The figure lifted the knife and inspected it carefully, making sure there wasn’t a drop of red left. “Stupid creature.”
From the shadows that the red hood created, a white smile flashed.
“Red Riding Hood has delivered you back to the wild woods of hell.”
Once the carcass had been discarded outside, ‘Red’ sat back in an armchair and put his feet up. The cottage stunk of blood, a lot of which was still congealing upon the bed. The hood was pushed back to reveal a pale, sharp angled face. It was a pretty face, but certainly belonged to a male. Black hair hung in messy bangs, but couldn’t quite cover the glaring, dark eyes.
Red Riding Hood: Wolf Hunter of the Dark Forest was getting tired of his self appointed job. This wolf had been number sixty-seven and the story was always the same. Place decoy grandma, pretend to be an innocent young girl with a basket full of goodies, slay wolf.
The fury idiots never seemed to learn. The complete lack of challenge made the whole process remarkably tedious.
He needed a break.
Maybe a trek to the seaside? No, that would ruin his complexion. In any case, he would leave the Dark Forest, home of wolves and witches, and see what else the world held. A journey was just what the doctor ordered for a bored mind.
He would even take back his old name, the one he had before he’d gotten into the wolf slaying business; Sasuke.
Mind made up, he gathered what he would need, lifted his hood and disappeared into the forest.
The two children were arguing.
They stood blocking Sasuke’s path, not noticing him even when he cleared his throat in an attempt to get their attention.
It was obvious that they were brother and sister, the resemblance was uncanny; the same brown eyes, the same brown hair and even the same shabby, worn clothing.
“You were supposed to leave a trail of crumbs!”
“I left the trail of crumbs last time. It was your turn!”
“That’s a damn lie!”
“I couldn’t leave a trail, okay?”
“Why the heck not?!”
“Because, if you’d bothered to look, father only gave as a tomato.”
“So?”
“So, I can’t make a crumb trail out of a tomato!”
“You could have told me we only had a tomato!”
“You were telling me about when you met one of the seven dwarfs. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“You’re impossible!” The boy finally threw his hands up in exasperation. “Thanks to you now we’re really lost in the forest and – oh crap.”
Sasuke had finally been noticed. The two kids stared at the newcomer mouths slightly ajar. From the depths of his hood, Sasuke stared back, no longer amused by their stupidity. Kids+lost=pleas for help.
Sasuke shifted slightly as he prepared to leave. That small movement was enough to knock the girl from her stupor. She began to cry.
“Whaaaaa!” Please, m-me a-and m-my brother…” She covered her face with her hands, her words becoming incomprehensible.
“We’re lost you see miss.” The boy had caught onto the game and was giving Sasuke a winning smile. Unfortunately for the boy, he had ruined whatever small chance he might have had by calling Sasuke ‘miss’.
Despite the fact that Sasuke’s job revolved around being mistaken for a girl, when not luring wolves to their deaths he could get pretty touchy.
“I’m not-“ His growl was rudely cut off.
Little hands grabbed at his cloak, tugging at the fabric and crinkling it. “P-please h-help.”
Sasuke scowled and then had a light bulb moment.
When he spoke his voice was sugary sweet and as girlish as he could manage. “There’s a special house made of gingerbread nearby. A lovely woman lives there, she would be happy to help you find the way home.”
“A gingerbread house?” The boy asked with a small frown.
“Indeed. Just down this path, you’ll come across a small trail leading off to the right. Follow it and you’ll find the house.” As he spoke Sasuke pried the little grils hands from his clothing.
“Well gee, thanks miss.”
“Not a problem. Now, I have to collect herbs for my sick grannie.” He swept past them, hurrying away down the path. As soon as he was far enough away he slowed down, rolling his eyes. “Hn, idiots.”
The path eventually led him out of the Dark Forest and into a lighter, happier one. The abundance of singing birds and talking wildlife was making Sasuke a little nauseous.
“Excuse me good person.” A cheery voice spoke from somewhere very close. Sasuke stopped and it took him a moment to realize that the voice was coming from a squirrel standing next to his foot.
“… what?”
The squirrel smoothed its whiskers, apparently trying to look important. “I would advise you to change your course.”
“... why?”
“There are BEARS that way.”
“…”
The squirrel gave a knowing nod of its head.
Sasuke, who had never once taken the advice of a squirrel, was not about to start now. “I’ll take my chances.”
He continued walking, but the tree climbing rodent did not relent.
“Good person, you mustn’t! Oh, good person!” Goo- Eeeeek!”
The squirrel suddenly found itself missing a tail. It flopped over in the dirt wailing and Sasuke kept going. As he walked he cleaned the knife on his cloak.
The place that the path led him to was impressively large, for a cottage at least. Rose bushes led up to the front door, which was painted a bright, eye hurting orange.
Sasuke considered the door for a while and then walked casually over. It was already partly open and noises could be heard from inside; the heavy stamping of feet as people scurried back and forth.
Then a voice, petulant, loud and whiny.
“This ramen is too hot!”
Who is the owner of the myterious voice? Will the squirrel live? Is there an old woman somewhere with two kids being held captive in her gingerbread house? What will happen next on Fairytale Fiasco?! -cue dramatic music-