The Right Choice

This story is completely finished. I am just going through and doing some final proofreading, but I will be uploading at least once daily. There are over ten chapters and the story is a little over 45,000 words. I've never actually posted a story of mine before, and I'm a little nervous so be kind. If there's a lot of bad feedback from this one I probably won't post any more of my stories in the future, but no matter what I will have this one posted in completion hopefully by the end of next week. I hope you enjoy it, I usually write for my own pleasure, but this one I enjoyed so much I thought it might be nice to share. Please let me know if you like it, I am hoping for at least ten good reviews once I finish. I know it's a high goal considering most people are lurkers (me included), but I would appreciate knowing that at least a few people enjoyed it. Thanks, and enjoy!

WARNING: Naruto is in several other pairings before he gets to Shino. The story works through a failed relationship and a comfort relationship before we get there so don't freak out when Naruto doesn't jump straight into Shino's arms. It will happen, but like the description said this is the story of their struggle to come together so just wait for it.

Chapter 1

Shino stood under the tree that his team always met under waiting patiently for them to arrive. He was always the first being the only early riser among them, and he liked it that way. It gave him a chance to think while it was still quiet. It also gave him a glimpse at least once a week of his hearts desire. It was a forbidden want, but no matter how much he tried he couldn’t make himself move past it. There was a sudden flash of movement out of the corner of his eye and he knew today would be one of those lucky days, and though it couldn’t be seen under his high collared jacket he smiled.

Naruto tried his hardest to sneak up on Shino at least once a week for the past two years when ever he was in town, but it had never worked. Today was his eighteenth birthday though and he just knew today would be the day. He had never been fully forgiven for not recognizing him that first day back from his time with Jiraiya, and he made it a point to every once in a while show the other ninja a bit of friendly attention, even if it did always start with failed attempts of sneakery. He was just about the pounce when he heard the all too often phrase of failure.

“Hello, Naruto.” Shino said trying to control his grin even though Naruto would no doubt never notice it. He loved these little games. It gave him a chance to practice his skills as well as ensuring an encounter with his favorite person. Naruto was extremely good at sneaking up on just about every other ninja in the village lately. Even Tsunade wasn’t immune to his trickery, but Shino was extra sensitive to the other ninja in a way that most weren’t and that in itself made Naruto even more determined to get inside Shino’s guard, it wasn’t going to happen any time soon. This ensured more encounters for Shino to look forward too since he knew that once Naruto succeeded he would no longer make these attempts and move on to other targets.

“Damn it, Shino! How do you do that?” Naruto ranted as he slipped from the shadows to stand in front of the other ninja, his red robe billowing slightly as he walked making the flames at the bottom come alive with the motion. “I can sneak up on just about everyone in the village accept you. You’re pretty much the only real challenge left around here and I can’t figure it out. Give me a hint, huh?” Naruto wasn’t one to give in to the urge to rant lately. He had actually matured a great deal in the last few years, and Shino thoroughly enjoyed being one of the few that could ignite that fiery temper.

He knew it was pathetic to be so enthralled by such a small thing, but the attention that Naruto afforded him was more than most were given and he reveled in it. He only wished it could be more, but that would be a betrayal, and he wouldn’t do that. Naruto looked at him with pleading eyes as if he really thought he’d get an answer to his question, but Shino wouldn’t tell him. Not in a million years.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Naruto; you stomp around here like you have lead feet. I could hear you from a mile away.” Naruto laughed then, and Shino was thankful for the millionth time that his jacket covered his face because his cheeks were burning with a fevered blush that could start a fire. He loved that laugh. Who was he kidding, he loved everything about the blonde including his quirks and faults, not that he could actually think of any. Naruto had grown up, and it had not gone unnoticed.

“I’ll never get you Shino. That’s ok; I think that’s what makes me like you so much… that and the fact that you’re a kick ass shinobi. I just got back from a mission last night so you’re the first person I’ve seen. Anything interesting happen while I was away?”

This time he was grateful for his glasses as he felt his eyes widen with surprise at that statement. Naruto had come to him first. He knew that this was on the way to the Hokage’s building, but to know that Naruto had thought of him before reporting was special to him. It was the most he was likely to ever get from the young man in front of him, and in a small way it made up for the ache Shino carried with him in knowing that he could never have him. He wondered for a moment if Naruto had any idea how good it made people feel to know they are important to him. It was his gift and several of the others had spoken of it often, but Naruto didn’t seem to have a clue.

That was Naruto though; being oblivious was a part of his charm. “Nothing interesting ever happens while you’re away. You seem to take all the drama with you when you go. How was your mission?” Shino was going for droll, but he was afraid he came across in his usual dull tone which never seemed to keep from wiping the smile right off the other’s face. He had wanted the conversation to last longer but right then Kiba showed up, and Naruto always had a loud greeting for him that made both of them forget he was even there. These were the few times when he was truly jealous of Kiba. The two of them were so easy together that it made Shino’s chest hurt.

And in that moment of weakness his secret was discovered.

Not by Naruto or Kiba of course, who were talking in loud voices boasting about their mission prowess, but by the one person Shino had not wanted that information revealed to. Hinata stood looking at him slightly slack jawed and pale in a way that made her fair skin look a sickly shade of grey. Shino looked away in horror at what he knew from experience were extremely knowledgeable eyes. The veins at her temples were revealed showing that she had not just guessed, but seen quite clearly his reaction, and his shame multiplied exponentially when Naruto at that moment decided to sling an arm around his neck to say his farewells and greet Hinata before heading off toward the Hokage’s building.

Not a word was spoken between them as Kiba spoke of training and cutting out early to work with Akamaru. Neither argued with him, and the moment he disappeared over the rooftops Hinata finally spoke.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She whispered pleadingly. The silence that followed was heavy, and Shino neither had an answer for her nor a solution to the situation they were in.

“How long Shino?” Her voice stronger this time and the slightest bit of accusation escaped in her tone. This time Shino could answer, but he was afraid. He could distantly feel the humor in that. Being afraid wasn’t usually his style, but Hinata was his best friend and he would do anything to keep from hurting her, but at this moment the damage was done and there was nothing more to do accept be honest with her. She’d know if he wasn’t and that would only hurt her more.

“Since we were very young, still in school. I stayed as close as I could to him for as much as I could without letting him know. I tried to protect him, but he never noticed. I wanted to be his comfort at the Sandaime’s funeral, but I was so afraid of rejection that I just stood there beside him. It was the first of many chances I had that I let pass me by. It was nothing more than affection then, but I knew it had become so much more when he came back. He didn’t recognize me at first, and I couldn’t figure out why it hurt so much, but later it hit me, and I was devastated because I knew that the only way for me to be happy was to make you unhappy. I never wanted to hurt you Hinata. Everyone knows he’s yours. Even Sakura keeps her distance, and everyone can see how much she loves him. I didn’t ask for this to happen. It just did, but I can live with it. You are my best friend and I’d never hurt you like that.”

Hinata was crying gentle tears, but Shino couldn’t tell why. When she threw her arms around him pulling him close it took a long moment for him to recover from the shock of not receiving a blow, but warm comfort. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, hiding his face in her hair. He didn’t cry, but he wanted to if only physically to show how much it hurt him to hurt her.

“He’s not mine, Shino.” She whispered to him. She pulled back slightly from him and pulled his glasses off so she could look into his unusual eyes. “He’s never been mine, and I could never think badly of you for falling in love. I have hoped for so long that you could find someone and be happy. I just never imagined this, though I do understand. Not even the great Shino, pride of the Aburame Clan, is immune to his charms.” She shook her head, and smiled a knowing smile. “I would be the best person to understand that, but I’ve learned to live with disappointment when it comes to Naruto. I don’t want you to do the same for my sake. I’ve hurt for so long that I’m almost numb to it. He knows Shino. He knows I love him. He doesn’t want me, and I think I’ve figured out why.”

Hinata replaced his glasses when his eyes started to water from the daylight. At least that’s what she told herself if only to preserve his pride in her own mind. She stepped back as her hands slid away from his shoulders. She took his hand and led him over to the tree and sat them both at the bottom facing away from the road to give them a bit of privacy. She took Shino’s hand in hers as she spoke softly about their beloved Naruto. She explained about the various missions in the last two years that seemed to take Naruto to Suna more often than not. She spoke of whispers in the ranks that Naruto was more than friendly with Gaara, and that she hadn’t had the nerve yet to ask Naruto himself about it but she had spoken to Sai recently, and that had been all the confirmation she needed.

The reason that Naruto didn’t pursue her or any other girl in Konoha was because Naruto liked boys. Exclusively, according to Sai. There had been some confusion when Naruto had been younger where he misinterpreted plutonic intimacy as sexual with most of the men he encountered, and Sai had told her that Naruto had even had an odd moment with him as well. His denial and fear of discovery lead to volatile mood swings and fierce reactions to anything that would possibly label him as such, and Sai said it had taken a long time for him to face who he really was.

“Gaara supposedly helped a great deal with Naruto learning to accept who he is, and they’ve been seeing each other ever since. Though, Sai thinks that Naruto simply thinks of Gaara as a dear friend that he happens to share a bed with on occasion. I think that makes your situation far better than mine, and I would never begrudge you someone you loved. Shino… you are my best friend, and I only want the best for you and if you want Naruto then I want you to have him. We’ll find a way to work this out. I’ve already had a lot of time to grieve over it. Helping you and seeing to your happiness will help me.”

Shino held Hinata’s hand tightly and they remained still in the silence. His mind was racing with all that he had heard, but he couldn’t think much beyond how caring and truly amazing Hinata was for granting him the gift of her friendship even with his betrayal.

The rest of the day was spent with the two of them talking quietly and sharing the friendship that Shino had come to cherish.

ooOOoo

Naruto had finally taken the Ambassadorship between Suna and Konoha. It had been over a year in coming and he knew that there would be pressure, but he hadn’t anticipated Tsunade forcing him into it. “It’s for the good of the village Naruto. He won’t accept anyone else. Three have already come back with long lists of complaints from unsatisfactory housing to food related illnesses, not to mention the mood of the Kazekage on any occasion that they might catch his attention. You are the only one.”

Naruto had put up a valiant fight telling her how unethical it was for him to be in that kind of position to represent the village when he was so obviously favored personally by Gaara as well as most of Suna. He was somewhat of a hero in their eyes, but to the Hokage that was only a bonus.

Soon after that he had found himself packed and saying his goodbyes to Sakura and Sai on his way through the main gate and toward the desert. Though his mind was racing with anger and anticipation, once the first day of his trip had passed he was left with only the anticipation. Gaara was an amazing and attentive lover after all, and Naruto loved him in his own way, but leaving behind all of his goals was more than he could bear to think about so he chose not to.

It wasn’t long before he could see Suna rising from the desert like a forbidden lover rising off linen sheets, back bowed in heated passion. The comparison in his mind was nothing more than a passing thought, but the fire it lit in his blood lingered nearly to the gates. He was welcomed as a true friend of Suna with warm hugs from the women and firm slaps to the back from the men. Even Ebizo came down to greet him knowing that it would have pleased Chiyo. As he entered the Kazekage’s home he was greeted by Temari with a painfully tight hug that had her laughing when he started wheezing, but the only one Naruto had eyes for was Gaara who stood behind his desk as they entered his private office.

He heard a soft click as the door shut behind Temari, and then sand was consuming him, pulling him closer whether he wanted to or not, not that he had any objections. Gaara came around the desk and met him halfway for a kiss that could melt sand to glass. Gaara was a man of few words after all, and they hadn’t seen each other in over a month.

Kissing lead to other things and it was quite some time before either of them were presentable for the dinner that was to be held in the new Ambassador’s honor.

ooOOoo

Ambassador work was quickly becoming tedious to the point of misery, but Naruto trudged through it with a sardonic smile knowing that this was how most of baa chan’s days were spent. He had to laugh at finally understanding her reason for wanting to drink so much. It had been six months since his arrival, and messages came almost daily for him. He was in charge of negotiating trade and commerce between not only the hidden villages but the surrounding communities. Rice was something that couldn’t grow in the desert it seemed, so there was much need for it, and the soft earth around his home had been stripped clean of any ore that might be used for metal working years ago leaving the two communities in great need of each other for these and many other supplies.

There were also a few disputes here and there that needed to be dealt with by the Kazekage concerning border issues and petty crimes. He stood as oversight to see to it that anyone from the Fire Nation was treated with dignity and fairness, but it was unnecessary. Gaara was scrupulously fair even without oversight no matter where they might live, but Gaara seemed to revel in his attendance and attention that it mattered little that he was forced to sit through these hearings.

And so went most days in Suna, but his nights were a different story. Nights were spent sleeping in luxurious sheets next to a lover so skilled that the sheets were not the true draw. They made love every night in this bed in the Kazekage’s private quarters, and Naruto woke every morning to soft red hair and smooth flawless skin. He had never imagined that sleeping so close to someone could be so comforting since he had never had anyone to sleep next to before, but it was. The warmth that Gaara gave off alleviated fears Naruto had not known he had. He could imagine this for the rest of his life, and found himself content with the thought.

Each day when he was finished with his duties he would train. There were plenty of ninja in the village that were more than excited to train with the last Jinchuriki in order to test their skills. He was the only one left at this point and there was no ninja within the walls that would turn down a chance at besting him. It was on one of these training sessions that a carrier bird from Konoha circled around him before landing lightly on his arm.

The news was good and bad. Sasuke had been seen after a year of nothing but rumors and bad leads and in that moment the world around him drifted away.

ooOOoo

A year had passed now since his arrival, and the nights had become the only time Naruto felt sane. He truly loved Gaara, but he knew that sooner or later staying behind while others fought in his place would destroy him. Sasuke was his responsibility. Konoha was his responsibility. He knew that a decision had to be made so he sent out a message as the early morning light began to make its way over the horizon, and slipped back into bed to make love to Gaara for the last time.

Gaara had felt the change immediately, but had been powerless under Naruto’s hands to make the question form in his mouth. Their lovemaking was tinged with sadness and desperation. Naruto’s touch was one of reverence and awe. There was no question in either of their minds that this would be the last time they would be together this way, and for the first time since Naruto came into his life Gaara wept. The tears came faster as Naruto whispered words of love in his ear as they moved together, and when they had both found completion Gaara felt alone in a way he had never experienced before.

Naruto kissed him gently and slid out of the bed to shower. Gaara showered when Naruto was finished, and they dressed for the day in silence. When they sat down to eat breakfast Naruto finally said what Gaara had been dreading. “I’m leaving today.”

He nodded and went back to eating his breakfast hoping that Naruto wouldn’t say more, but he should have known better.

“I thought I could do this… I thought I could leave it all behind, but I have so many responsibilities. I love you so much, you know that, but I can’t run from who I am anymore. I’m leaving, and I won’t be back for a very long time.” Naruto flinched away from Gaara as piercing green eyes looked at him with so much pain.

Gaara had to say something, but he didn’t know what good it would do. Naruto was always so stubborn, and once he made his mind up there was no changing it, but Gaara needed him here, by his side. He had to try. “I won’t let you leave. You have a responsibility here to our people as well as Konoha.”

“Damn it Gaara, I have to go. Can’t you see how it’s tearing me apart to stay? If I could change things I would, but I can’t. I made a promise. I have to bring Sasuke back.”

“So that’s it then, you love him more then you love me?”

Naruto’s eyes widened and he felt a tear slide down his cheek. “No, never. It might have been… if things had turned out differently, but no. I love you more than anyone I’ve ever loved. We just have responsibilities that won’t let us be together. This time has been the most amazing time of my life, but the burden I carry is breaking my back. It has to end. You can’t leave and I can’t stay. Please don’t make this any harder than it already is. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“If you leave you will hurt me,” was the whispered answer. Gaara was determined to keep Naruto his. If he had to leave he would elicit a promise from him to return. It was the only way to not fall apart. He couldn’t loose him, not now.

“I don’t have a choice. This is the only way for me to keep all of my promises. I have to give you up. I don’t want to… I hate it, but I have too. I know it will hurt you, but you’ll get over it, get over me. You can love someone that can stay with you. Someone that won’t ever have to leave you.” Naruto stood and walked to the door to the outside of the Kazekage’s suite. He opened the door and called out. A young man just a bit shorter than Naruto came in. His hair was dirty blonde and his eyes were pale grey with a hint of green at the center. Naruto led him to the dining room where then had been eating breakfast and introduced him.

“This is Ikaru. He’s suffered much of the same type of pain as we have for most of his life. Life has been hard for him, but he’s made something of himself. He’s a chunin. I’m sure you’ve seen him before.” Naruto turned to the young man standing next to him. “Tell him.”

Gaara could tell that the boy knew exactly what Naruto wanted him to say, but he was reluctant. The boy couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of his feet, and a slow flush began to creep up his neck until his entire face was flushed a soft rose.

“Kazekage sama… I…”

“Go on.” Naruto encouraged.

“I’m in love with you.” He whispered quietly to his feet. Gaara barely got the chance to comprehend those words when Naruto punched the boy hard. He fell to the ground and Gaara’s sand just caught him in time to keep him from hitting to hard.

“NARUTO…” Gaara shouted, but had been to busy with the boy to notice that Naruto was kneeling on the floor curled into himself. He was breathing heavy and mumbling something that Gaara couldn’t make out. He went to him quickly and pulled him into his arms holding him close, and trying desperately to understand what was happening. The whispers suddenly became clear as he rocked Naruto gently in his arms.

“I didn’t think it would be so hard…never thought…letting you go would hurt this much…” Gaara felt the tears slip down his own cheeks for the second time in so long as he finally realized just how hard this was for the boy in his arms. They had never talked about what Naruto had sacrificed to be here with him. Gaara had just assumed that since his life in Konoha had been so difficult because of what he was that he would be happy to live in a place where the people thought of him as a hero. He had never imagined that in his selfishness he had caused so much pain to the one person he loved above all else.

Understanding though, didn’t make letting him go any easier. Ikaru had stood and moved slowly toward the door, but stopped when Gaara shook his head at him. Gaara helped Naruto back to his feet, and they stood for several moments in an awkward silence none knowing what to say.

Naruto stepped back from Gaara deliberately putting distance between them. He didn’t look at Ikaru when he spoke, but into Gaara’s beautiful green eyes.

“I thought I could hear it, but I guess I was wrong. I’m sorry for reacting so badly Ikaru. Please take care of him for me. He deserves to be loved.”

Naruto slipped quietly into the bedroom and came back with his small pack already on his back. “I have to leave now or I never will. I love you more than you’ll ever know. When I see you again I want to see you happy… please be happy.”

Before either of them could say anything Naruto was out the window and heading toward the front gate.

“I meant what I said.” Ikaru whispered as he finally met Gaara’s eyes.

Gaara nodded once, and turned away from him to watch Naruto as he moved toward the entrance to the village. “I need time.”

“As much as you need. I will wait.” Gaara nodded again, and a moment later he heard the door close softly behind him. He didn’t move from the window for a very long time.


All the information for this fiction was either taken from actual episodes, manga, or one of several Naruto information sites. Please let me know if you have any questions or comments on any of the info I use, I'm trying to stay in line with the actual story as I can. Thanks.