Finding it Out

My first story. If you hate it, please do tell me, kay? :)

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In the boy’s locker room, the quietness wasn’t something you would notice if you decided to enter; this could of course be a cause of the fact that the quietness at the moment didn’t exist. And it is now that we come to the interesting part; `Why?´ You may wonder, `Isn’t it supposed to be sounds in the boy’s locker room?´ (and notice with particular care that there should be an accentuation on the word `sounds´)

There are naked guys in there after all.

Well, the cause of the phenomena known as sound was, in this case, not caused by chatting boys (or chatting, naked boys either for that matter). Nope, the thing disturbing the subdued over-all feeling in the locker room couldn’t come more as a bolt from the blue than it did. The ear shattering sound that invaded the locker room was something far more… noisy than quiet talk. In fact, so noisy that it probably would be the only thing you’d hear. Loud, piercing and… was there a tint of terror in there as well?

The high-pitched, almost… girly scream – for it was indeed as if a girl had conducted the shrill sound – emerging from the showers could probably bend steel and shatter diamonds. Yes, if it would’ve been any louder, it would probably be classified as ultra-sound.

The boys, all coming to the conclusion that it must’ve been a girl, went ballistic and started screaming too, only… manlier (of course). Well, that would be almost all boys. Two persons remained somewhat unfazed by the rampage occurring around them at the end of the scream.

Or so it seemed.

Standing, rather naked, in the downpour caused by the showerhead above him, Uchiha Sasuke was completely at a standstill. That is, aside from the part that was slowly beating a hole somewhere inside of him, which we perhaps would know better as the heart. Banging so thoroughly hard inside his chest, it felt as if it might just be able to beat his ribs out and jump away.

Jesus, what the hell was that?

Now, we all know that Sasuke is manliness incarnated, a bit angsty and brooding perhaps, but still, the point is; Sasuke would never dream of wear anything remotely resembling pink, or even think about daydreaming about… whatever it was that girls daydreamed about. Nor would he ever swoon over anything.

But most importantly, Sasuke would NEVER, EVER scream like a girl.

Or, at least that was what he’d believed, until his body had proved him wrong that is.

You guessed it; Sasuke had indeed been the one to conduct the girly-sound emitting from the nearly empty showers. Nearly empty.

The two boy’s left in the showers were, to say the least, both in a state of shock. One of them being our dark haired friend, whom at the moment used both hands to cover his mouth, and the other one being his classmate/`sworn enemy since the first time they laid eyes on each other´, also known as Uzumaki Naruto; the plague of the earth. The loud, obnoxious moron who always ranted on and on about how he’d make everyone notice his awesomeness and how he’d make all the girls fall swooning into his strong, muscular arms… or whatever. This would never become reality. Sasuke knew that much. The blond was just too… stupid for his own good. This was why the following event seemed even more out of this world than it already was.

Sasuke had been standing in the shower for a while when Naruto entered. Nothing odd. Another guy, Kiba, or whatever his name was left when Naruto entered, asking the blond, on his way out, about if he was still on for Saturday. Or was it about some movie? Sasuke hadn’t really listened.

The blond moron stood with his back against Sasuke, and Sasuke was just about to turn around so that he didn’t have to see his ugly ass, when something snapped in Sasuke.

It must’ve been his brain finally imploding from the stress he’d recently been exposed to. Or so he concluded. It had to be something explainable. Something anyone would understand and say `Oh, I get it´ to. Something Sasuke could put in plain words, ridding any doubts it was what he really had felt there for a split second.

Like hormones. All boys have to obey their hormone’s wishes, don’t they? Isn’t it true what they say that guys think with their dicks? Nothing unnatural, really. And from behind, he sort of looked like… he could have looked like… If you just leaned your head in just the right angle and squinted… Because really, what’s the difference between an ass and an ass? They’re all the same; two round cheeks and between them a… hole.

Uzumaki had two butt-cheeks. Slightly tanned and between them—even though Sasuke of course couldn’t see it—a small hole. Everyone had it; all the boys getting dressed, all the girls, even Sasuke had one.

Sasuke had seen them before. One time he had accidentally walked in on his father showering. A mildly unpleasant experience, but he’d been standing with his back against Sasuke, presenting him with a clear view of his butt. Yes, that’s right; Sasuke’s father had an ass; nothing out of the ordinary.

So why on earth did this one butt evoke such… such a ruckus in Sasuke?

Because what he saw in front of him wasn’t a stupid blond with an ugly ass. No, not even a normal ass, like the one his father had.

It was tan, well-shaped, not big, and not too small…

It was a nice ass…

Uzumaki had a nice ass…

Naruto had a nice ass.

Sasuke tried the sentence in his head a few times.

It sounded nice.

Naruto has a nice ass.

Sasuke continued his train of thoughts. Is he working out? Why haven’t I seen his ass before? He could get any girl he wanted… He’s… got a nice ass.

Luckily for Mr. ass-goggle, the showers were pouring a steady stream of water against his face, hiding the drool that was currently pouring down his chin in a steady amount. He realized, too late, that his face had become flustered. The words `nice ass´ combined with `Naruto ´were continually repeated in his head.

But this was only one small part of what Sasuke was having trouble with.

Being a guy had its perks, but standing naked in the shower with another guy with a nice ass while at the same time in the back of your mind quietly questioning your sexuality is not one.

And as they say, the rest is history. Or, in this case, a loud girly scream Sasuke didn’t know he could make.

Naruto snapped around quickly, dropping his soap, when he heard Sasuke. But perhaps he regretted turning around at all, because what he laid his eyes on surely gave a whole new dimension to their rivalry. Naruto would definitely mock Sasuke for this the rest of his miserable life. The… exerted part of Sasuke’s body was in fact so exerted that even a blind would’ve seen it.

Stupid body! Sasuke thought furiously.

Naruto’s look said everything; his gaping mouth, limp hand hanging at his side, slightly twitching eye, spasming leg (probably trying to run away but being unable to do so because of the state of shock he was in). Everything in his manner said `What the fuck?´ and `Is this some kind of sick joke?´.

But he didn’t say anything like that.

“Dude, are you gay?”

Of all the stupid things he could’ve asked it had to be `are you gay?´

`No, Naruto, I was just flexing my muscles´ Sasuke wanted to reply sarcastically.

Could he really be any denser? Of all the questions he could’ve asked it had to be the most moronic one.

`No, Naruto, I have x-ray vision and was just looking through the wall into the girls changing room. My hard on has nothing to do with you.´ Jesus, the guy was… Sasuke just wanted to scream in frustration. Or, hang on a second, hadn’t he just done that?

`No, Naruto,´ he cooed in his mind, ` of course I’m not gay. I was simply so extremely excited about the multicoloured tiles featuring the walls, and you know me; I just couldn’t help getting a boner.´

But Seriously! Sasuke almost wanted to slam the idiot’s head for being such… well, such an idiot! Not because he was lying or— wait, no, scratch that. The little fucker was lying! He didn’t know anything! Sasuke snorted indignantly and crossed his arms.

“Yes Naruto, I’m gay and I want to screw you”

… The two boys were silent for a while.

Sasuke uncrossed his arms. No... he thought.

Please, not this time…

Did he seriously just say that? Had Uchiha Sasuke just said he wanted to screw another guy?

“O… Okay?” Naruto replied uncertainly.

Apparently he had. Well that just about proves it; I’m an idiot Sasuke thought.

Now Sasuke had three options concerning what he was to do. 1) He could just follow the subconscious parts of his mind and jump the guy right there, right now. At least he wouldn’t go back on his words if he did. Or 2) He could punch the guy in the face and pretend like the I-want-to-screw-you never happened. Or 3) He could laugh and pretend it was all a joke. But since Sasuke hadn’t laughed in years and wasn’t sure how it’d sound (Would it be one of those high-pitched easy-to-tell-you’re-scared-shit laughs? or perhaps it wouldn’t even sound as a laugh. What would he do then?), he quickly threw his third idea in the bin. But before Sasuke could even begin to contemplate on which of the other ones he should go with, Naruto made the choice for him.

Apparently, Sasuke hadn’t noticed Naruto composing himself to a somewhat normal state and realise what the hell they were doing and taking the few steps necessary to cover the distance between them only to land a firm punch right in his face.

The blow hit Sasuke full force and made him stumble backwards.

“WHAT THE HELL?!”

Sasuke was chocked. He had expected a lot of stuff, but nothing quite like what Naruto had pulled, “Are you fucking insane?”

At this, Naruto only raised an eyebrow, “Really? So, I’m insane? I’m not the one with a hard-on saying I want to screw me! No, Uchiha, I think you’re the one who’s insane”

Sasuke felt rage surging through him, which in one way was bad, because he knew things didn’t end with flowers and sunshine when he was angry. No, things usually ended more like… in a hospital. But on the other hand, rage was also good – at least in this case – as it effectively rid Sasuke of his I-do-not-have-the-hots-for-Naruto hard-on.

With a roar that could have fooled the blind into believing he was a tiger, Sasuke jumped high in the air and with nails that might as well have been claws he landed on Naruto and stabbed said claws right into the blonde’s shoulder. It was now Naruto’s turn to scream. Only, his scream sounded less girly. But he wasn’t about to give up that easily. No, If Sasuke had the skills of a stealthy tiger; Naruto had the stamina of a thousand lionesses (because we all know the guys only eat and sleep and occasionally shuffle around the savannah with no particular goal or meaning); a thousand hungry lionesses spotting a lonely zebra on the savanna. And he was charging right for it.

Sasuke didn’t even have time to react before Naruto had slammed his head against the cold, wet tiles covering the shower-room. But as Naruto was about to land yet another punch on the pale face, he stepped right onto the soap he dropped when he’d heard Sasuke’s scream. And we all know what happens when someone steps on something as slippery as soap.

You guessed it again; he slipped and fell face first on the floor. But he didn’t fall alone as he had been holding onto Sasuke’s throat right before he fell.

Now, the boys lay on the floor – Sasuke on top of Naruto – in a sad heap.

And as faith would have it all the other boys occupying the locker room decided that exact moment to barge into the showers, only to find Naruto on his back with Sasuke lying sprawled on top of him.

“Guys? What are you do…ing…” Kiba began, but silenced rather quickly.

As Naruto appeared to somewhat recuperate from the fall by moaning… in pain of course, Sasuke on the other hand, was lying limply on top of said blonde with no movement whatsoever. A few of the boys looked at each other in confusion, while Kiba began snickering. “I always knew you guys had the hots for each other, but come on, in the showers? I mean, you could at least try being a bit more subtle.”

“Kiba,” another boy said and took a step forward, “I don’t think they’re… okay.”

“What do you mean, Shikamaru?”

It was then he realised that Neither Sasuke, not Naruto made any form of attempt at moving. The only sign of life was Naruto’s quiet wails.

“Oh my god guys, are you okay?” Kiba rushed forward and put a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder. The other boy, Shikamaru, came up behind him to take a closer look at the two boys.

“Do you think we should get them to the nurse?” Kiba asked while tentatively poking Naruto’s puffy cheek as a result of being squished in between Sasuke’s shoulder and the floor.

“Yeah, I think we should.” Another boy came up and kneeled next to the two boys’ head.

“What do you think happened, Lee?” Kiba asked while moving from Naruto’s cheek to puffing Sasuke’s shoulder, as if afraid to push him away from Naruto, which probably was a good idea since he didn’t want to see any private areas or later being accused of doing such a horrible offense against their privacy. The boy named Lee shook his head and looked thoughtful. “I have no idea, but I suspect that,” he poked a finger in the direction of the soap lying innocently on the floor next to Sasuke’s right foot, “might be our prime suspect.”

Kiba turned his head and gave the soap a long, hard glare and shook his head as well. “Damn soap.”

--

Sasuke woke up to the sound of birds chirping and the sun shining warm and bright on his face. Green grass caressing his cheeks, and was that a ladybug crawling on his hand? The wind was running smoothly along his bent knee and pulling lightly on his dark fringes. The…aw, forget it! Seriously? Who was he trying to fool?

“—And you know what?! That was not funny!”

Someone was yelling in his ear. And that someone was right; that was not funny, at all.

“So you know what?! You can take your fucking book and shove it up your ass!"

What? Why would he want to shove a book up his ass? That was just ridiculous. Who did he think he was anyway?

Sasuke slowly opened his eyes to glare at whoever dared consulting him on exactly where to put his literature.

“Who the hell…” but his voice suddenly died out when he realised just who was consult him.

“Na—Naruto?”

An enraged Naruto was pointing a finger at Sasuke’s face while puffing his poppy-coloured cheeks in annoyance. “How dare you?!”

Sasuke looked at him confused, “Dare wha—“

“How dare you look at me like that?!” He shrieked and shook his finger in a barely controlled rage.

“But like wh—“

“Like you don’t care!!” Naruto practically screamed.

The confused look just wouldn’t disappear from Sasuke’s face, “Don’t care about what?”

Naruto clashed his teeth together in a way that sounded as if it probably could break bones. Not that Sasuke wanted to find out. It didn’t help when he started to grind them together in what would probably result in very flat teeth if the sound was anything to go by. Or perhaps he was sharpening them, so that he could bite Sasuke’s head off.

“You… you…” Naruto began while still pointing the angry finger at Sasuke’s face. Hadn’t his mother taught him it was rude to point and stare? Sasuke absently thought

“Are you gay or what?!”

… Silence…

What? Sasuke thought and felt even more confused.

“’Cause that would explain why you were— lookingat me like that in the shower!”

Showers…?

And then it clicked.

Whoops…

Sasuke’s face turned into an impossible shade of pink; his whole face.

“I…I…” he began, but couldn’t finish the sentence. He looked away in shame. Ah hell, he thought, what have I done to deserve this?

He looked back at Naruto and their eyes met. Naruto apparently also realising the situation he was in. Both boys blushed furiously, but neither of them said a word.

“What were you doing anyway?” Naruto asked after a while and scratched the back of his head, a faint blush still in place.

Sasuke turned away and mumbled something incoherently.

“What?” Naruto asked.

“Nothing, where am I anyway?” Sasuke asked, hoping Naruto would catch the bait and change the subject.

“Hospital.”

Sasuke looked around and noticed that yes, he was in fact in a hospital; white walls, fluorescent lighting and, of course, the mandatory light blue gown covering his otherwise naked body.

“What are you doing here?”

Naruto looked at Sasuke indignantly, “We both fell, remember?”

“Right… but why aren’t you... you know, in a bed…. Or whatever.”

“Quick healer I s’pose,” Naruto said and shrugged, “You took, like forever to wake up!”

Sasuke made a snorting sound and took another look at the room he was in. “So, I hit my head that hard, huh?”

Naruto snorted, “You got away easy; I was the one hitting the back of my head on the floor, while you,” he waved his hand in a circular motion; “you landed on me! And yet you’re the one lying in a hospital bed.”

“Well woo-hoo,” Sasuke said sarcastically and glared at Naruto, “It’s not my fault you’re so scrawny that I passed out! Landing on you is like landing on a pile of bones, and that fucking hurts!”

“What the hell do you mean scrawny?! I have more muscles than you could ever hope to have!” Naruto even pulled up the sleeves of his shirt to illustrate this.

“Right…” Sasuke muttered and studied the arms. “And exactly how many pounds can you lift with those toothpicks?”

“Toothpicks?! They’re no toothpicks!” Naruto exclaimed while flexing his arm, trying desperately to give it a raise, “Damn… arms…” he muttered.

But as time went by and his arms got more and more tired, not even Naruto himself could deny the truthfulness in Sasuke’s words. `How many pounds?´ echoed through his head as hydrogen and oxygen along with some sodium chloride began assembling the complex molecules necessary to create moisture.

With tear-filled eyes, Naruto jerked his head in Sasuke’s direction. “Well, you’re not any better!” he yelled and grabbed the dark-haired boy’s wrist.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?!” Naruto then, with his other hand, grabbed onto the light-blue sleeve of Sasuke’s gown and pulled it all the way to his shoulder. He raised Sasuke’s arm. “See?! You’re just as scrawny as I am!”

Sasuke looked down onto his arm and was just about to point out to the moron that no, his arm was nowhere near as scrawny as the blonde’s, but only came to about no, when he realised that in fact, yes, his arm was just as scrawny as Naruto’s.

… Ah damn it!

Right about then a nurse strode purposefully into the room. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and cleared her throat. “Break it up boys,” she began and settled for standing on the opposite side of Sasuke’s bed from which Naruto was standing. “And how are we feeling Mr.…” she fumbled with her thoughts for a second before remembering, “… Mr. Uchiha?”

“I’m fine,” Sasuke grumbled.

“Well that’s good to hear. Luckily, you didn’t get a concussion from the fall and everything else seems to be in order.”

“Does that mean I’m free to go?”

“Yes, we just had to make sure you didn’t sustain and form of damages… mentally… or so…” The nurse said while Sasuke quickly ripped off the blanket and climbed out of bed, pushing away Naruto who stood in his way.

“Hey! Watch it you prick!”

Sasuke merely hn-ed and turned to the nurse. “Where is my stuff?”

“They’re right here,” the nurse said and picked up a pile of clothes from a basket by the bed. “You can change in there.” She pointed towards a door on the other side of the room.

Sasuke hn-ed again and roughly grabbed the basket from the nurse. He stalked towards the door and flung it open, leaving a somewhat confused nurse and an agitated Naruto behind. The nurse glanced at Naruto and bit her cheek

"I'll just..." She coughed and nudged her head in the direction of the other door, "go get the doctor; inform him… you know…"

Naruto looked at her and nodded.

But when she’d taken her first step, she turned around, seemingly reconsidering her actions. She hastily glanced at the door Sasuke had entered. “Are you two... friends?” she asked.

Naruto stood still for a while. “I… I mean… I s’pose… sort of. It’s complicated,” he said and looked down at the floor.

The nurse smiled knowingly ’”l understand. You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to…” she sighed and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose again. “You’re lucky to have someone like him.”

She smiled one last time before directing her look at the brown wooden door yet again. “I gotta go get the doctor now. Wait here till I come back, ‘kay?”

“Um… sure…” Naruto said and frowned. He then looked at the brown wooden door and then back at the retreating nurse again. And back at the door one last time.

Then he got it.

Meanwhile on the other side of the brown wooden door, Sasuke were having epiphanies of his own. Now that he was alone he couldn’t help but think about the incident in the showers. What had he been thinking? Was he going insane? Naruto did not have a nice ass. And even if he did, Sasuke was not the kind of person that accepted the truth unless he had some solid evidences, meaning not just one piece of verification, but at least, like three different sources to support the theory. He would, therefore, until he was proven wrong, suppress his inner voice saying `He does too have a nice ass!´ by substituting it with a more fitting voice saying something in the lines of `There are no such thing as a nice ass. It is merely a form of spontaneous combustion of a reality which you don’t want to face that in turn becomes replaced by this misleading hologram clouding your senses and judgment.´

Sasuke nodded to himself: a spontaneous combustion of reality. That sounded plausible; a legitimate reason to think those thoughts in the first place.

So now, all he had to do was make sure his substitute reality was correct by making sure his suppressed reality was wrong. But as this could not be done theoretically without the ability of actually knowing whether he was right or wrong, the best way to go would be by putting it into practice.

Sasuke frowned and scratched his chin. That meant he had to make a test. Perhaps a test that covered a bit more would be the best way to make sure this wasn’t just something that applied to all, because if that was the case, then a whole new dimension would be added to the problem.

Sasuke quickly pulled his shirt over his head and a determined look crossed his face. He puffed out air from his mouth blowing away some stray hair and walked out the brown wooden door.

Just as he exited a male doctor in white coat entered.

“Hello…” the doctor looked down at a chart in his hand, “Sasuke…” He looked up again, “we’ve contacted your father, but unfortunately he couldn’t come. Your principal was here earlier. Uzumake here can verify that. “He turned to Naruto briefly before continuing, “But you don’t need to worry; we’ve taken care of everything.”

Sasuke hn-ed.

“In fact, as soon as you’ve filled these papers out, you’re free to go.” The doctor handed some papers over to Sasuke.

Naruto stood sulking in a corner, giving harsh glares in Sasuke’s direction.

The doctor tapped his foot while Sasuke finished signing the papers and picked them up. He shoved them into the doctor's hands and brought up his phone. He looked at the doctor before dialing... "Was that all?"

"Yes… that’s all,” the doctor said and glanced at the papers. "Can you make it home yourself?”

“Of course.” Sasuke said and began dialing. He brought the phone to hrs ear and began murmuring with someone on me other end of the line.

Naruto, being who he was, kept on sulking at his place by the bed. The doctor looked at him expectantly.

"What?” Naruto asked and raised an eyebrow.

“Will you be alright? Do you need a ride home?”

“No…” Naruto said a bit uncertainly and glanced at Sasuke. Upon not receiving any form of response from the Uchiha, he got a bit more determined look in his eyes, “No! Of course not.”

“Well, good,” the doctor replied. “Come with me please then.”

Naruto hurried after the doctor while Sasuke glanced at Naruto’s retreating back. He narrowed his eyes and followed them. Once he got home, he’d commence his investigation.

Well outside the hospital, the two boys looked at each other with narrowed eyes. Naruto huffed. “So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Whatever,“ Sasuke said and turned around, heading for the nearby parking lot.

A car soon pulled up in front of Sasuke which ne noticed was for him.

On the ride home, Sasuke—for what felt like the millionth time that day—thought about Naruto's ass. He could almost see it in front of him… Or wait, no he could see it in front of him. Sasuke sighed and sunk further down into the leather seat. It was actually unnaturally well suntanned for an ass. Or perhaps ‘unnaturally’ was the wrong way to phrase it. . . It was unusually well suntanned for an ass… Yes… Almost the same colour as his arms and legs. Sasuke thought of his own rear end, which probably wasn’t very suntanned if the rest of his complexion was anything to go by. Not that he usually looked at his own ass, unless…

…No, not even then… Who looked as their own ass anyway? Perhaps if you had a fetish for asses. But wouldn’t other asses be more interesting than your own then? But then again, didn’t everyone like asses? Did everyone have a butt fetish? Was it unnatural not to like asses? What if someone thought asses were disgusting? Were they weird then? Or what about those who only liked their own butt? Did those kinds of people exist?

When the car reached the Uchiha household, Sasuke quickly unbuckled and exited the car. He inhaled the fresh air deeply before taking six and a half long strides to the front door. He knew no one was home. He unlocked the door and walked inside. There were no lights on.

He kicked off his shoes and walked upstairs. He paused in front of the computer and dragged his fingers across the keyboard. He stood there for a few seconds before sitting down on the chair in front of the computer and turning it on…

--

TBC

Good? No? Do tell me. Please. :)