Purple Cocaine Prison

Warning(s): Language! Lame jokes! Stuff that made me laugh!
Disclaimer: I make zero profit, but the fun I have writing is all mine! ^_^

~!@!~

‘Purple Cocaine Prison’
Half-Heart Samurai {Part. Two}

~!@!

It’s funny when you wake up in the morning, fully intent on getting up and realize just how tired you still seem to be.

I worked yesterday, and cried again, and forgot to eat dinner and did a whole bunch of things that probably didn’t help me very much, but it wasn’t like I could go back in time and change things. All I can do now is get out of bed. Or try to.

I could not go today, if I wanted, since it’s not like we’ll be doing any real work, but I don’t think I could stand staying here, by myself, thinking.

Thinking too much stopped me from sleeping very well last night.

I though of Sasuke and Gaara, who disappeared together at lunch, of Haku who is so absent lately, of Itachi, whose seems so dangerous and doesn’t look it.

Most of all, I thought of Neji and me, or specifically, of what will become of Neji and me.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I am a very bad relationship person.

My stomach’s been acting up lately, as if punishing me, if things weren’t all jumbled up already.

Okay, enough moping.

I roll out of bed and head straight for the shower; pausing only to toss my walrus night hat in a corner of the room I’ll remember to look for it.

It occurs to me, looking at my reflection, that I’ve changed a little.

My eyes seem so much bluer and my face so much more grown up. It even looks like I grew a bit. I grin at my reflection and am relieved when the smile looks genuine.

I choose my clothes carefully this morning, not keen on dressing up the same way I did yesterday, tired or no.

Decked out in black jeans, a bright orange long-sleeve top and a matching back vest, I escape into my kitchenette to find breakfast. An orange, a glass of milk and three pieces of toast later, I almost feel human. I’m sorely tempted to have ramen too but I figure I could go to my favorite place at noon, when we’re dismissed.

It’s not a bad idea to treat yourself once in a while.

I fish my keys out of the jeans I wore yesterday and pull on my sneakers.

I’m about to leave when something in the back of my head tells me I forgot something.

I dump my backpack in the hallway and leave my door open while I jog down my hall and into my room.

I have to toss some clothes and a few mangas out of the way before I manage to dig it up, but I find it.

My sketchbook looks like a foreign object in my hands, almost like it’s a stranger’s and not really mine. I trace the worn leather edges with a finger and take it with me back out into the hall.

I lock my door and rummage for a pencil before setting out to wait for the bus.

More then half the pages are blank, perfectly white and lonely looking.

It occurs to me that I have some catching up to do.

~!@!~

School seems to be a little emptier than usual, but that’s to be expected, since today is only a half-day.

I intentionally look for Neji in the locker room, but he isn’t there. Probably helping out with Student Council, I suppose.

I have Physics first thing this morning and can’t help dragging my feet a little on my way there. There isn’t exactly anything urging me to hurry either.

Our class is full, which surprises me.

Stella Maria waves at me from the back and I realize that students whose other homerooms are empty came to visit their friends in our class.

Gaara’s already here, though he seems a little out of it.

He’s wearing a black, long-sleeve shirt and army print cargos. The black shirt has a fading sunset logo on it. The baby blue suspender he’s wearing is lined with pins and he’s got a black and white checkered scarf around his neck.

The matching mittens are sitting on the worktable.

I drop my books on the desk and curl a finger through one of his belt loops, “Ohiyo”

Gaara shuts his eyes slowly and smiles very, very faintly, “Ohiyo”

With his eyes closed, I can tell that the rings around them seem much deeper and darker today then usual, or so it they seem.

Frowning, I sit down, not letting go of him, “I just though of something”

Gaara’s eyes open slowly and he fixes me with a steady gaze, as if he’d not been so tired looking a moment ago, “Nani?”

I mull over what to say for a minute, “You wear eye stuff all the time right?”

Gaara blinks at me and blinks again as he turns his head away.

“But it’s not all makeup, is it?”

Gaara tilts his head, feigning lack of understanding.

I shrug and let him go, “I just meant that I’ve never seen you without it and it sorta looks like, well, like your hiding something with it”

Gaara places one of his hands in mine, “Chronic Insomnia”

I give a start when I hear that.

We’re both quiet for a minute and as if I didn’t hear him say anything, I resume playing with his fingers, “Oh”

Gaara looks at me sharply, eyes narrowing slightly, “Why are you making that face?”

I look up, surprised, “What face?”

He just looks at me then, somehow managing to seem annoyed and confused all at once, “You look sad. Why?”

I grin and squeeze his cold hand in my warmer ones, “Because I always figured you were a stress case”

Gaara’s face clears at my sarcasm and he shrugs, “Your hands are warm”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

Gaara looks away from me, though I know he’s not ignoring me, “Caring people are warm”

I frown at Gaara’s uncharacteristic chattiness, “So?”

Gaara shrugs again, “My hands are cold”

I realize that they are extremely cold, but he’s moving isn’t he? Living and breathing? Obviously, he doesn’t understand himself very well, “Your caring: your way’s a little unconventional”

Gaara still isn’t looking at me, “I’m unconventional” He says it like he’s trying out the taste of the words in his mouth.

I grin, “I wouldn’t like you so much if you weren’t”

He finally turns back to look at me, “Hn”

I grin at his minutely muddled expression and hand him his gloves.

He takes them, puts them on, and places his hand back in mine after.

I’ve never seen Gaara in a mood like this before or as talkative, but it isn’t a bad side of him. He’s a private guy, so hearing anything about him is always really cool even if it’s something as bad as chronic insomnia.

Come to think of it: why’s he so tired in the first place? If the Insomnia’s chronic, why does he look extra tired today? Does it have anything to do with Sasuke? Is it even any of my business?

Gaara’s looking at me again, “Let’s go”

I stare at him.

He elaborates slowly, as if talking to a kid, “First period classes are reporting to their second period teacher. We’ll be staying with Kakashi all morning”

I raise an eyebrow, “Says who?”

Gaara narrows his eyes at me, “There was an announcement”

I grin sheepishly at him, “I’m a little preoccupied, okay?”

Gaara nods and stands.

We’re still holding hands as we leave class to head for the Gym.

~!@!~

“Who’s dumbass idea was this?”

Kiba’s bitching because although we were asked to go to our second period class, ours happened to be in the gym, which is currently under renovation.

Sasuke shows up with Haku and Shika in tow and all three come and clump together with Gaara and I.

Haku seems extremely pleased with himself though Shika looks skeptical to say the least.

I wonder what’s up.

Shino wanders in last and also comes to clump with us.

At this point, it’s obvious that either Kakashi-Sensei slept in or got run over by something on his way here. Though both are possibilities, neither one seems more likely then the other.

Tired of standing, I crouch against the wall. Gaara steps back to keep our hands together but doesn’t sit himself. Haku notices and comes to sit by me.

Shika and Sasuke stay standing and Shino joins us squatters.

Haku checks his watch, “He’s pretty late”

Shika makes a really bored face, “When isn’t he?”

Shino pushes his shades further up his nose, “Where’s Neji?”

“Good question”, I muse out loud.

Everyone’s starring at me.

I grin to cover my discomfort.

While we were on our way here, Gaara filled me in, in very few words, about how everyone had more or less heard about Sasuke’s fight with Neji. No one really knew what I had to do with it, but weird rumors were circulating about it anyway.

I wasn’t very bothered, but I can say I was relived when Gaara related a few theories to me. It didn’t sound like anyone even faintly had any idea of the truth.

Come to think of it, I haven’t been too worried about seeing Neji anymore. Maybe it’s because I think I’ve got some part of him figured out or maybe it’s because he still seems to want to give me a chance and although I’m still having a hard time getting over how he reacted yesterday, I’m kinda happy about it too.

Shika shrugs, “Who cares”

The attention switches from me to him almost instantly.

Shika shrugs again, on purpose, and sighs, “More importantly, who thinks we should just skip and grab an early lunch?”

Haku makes a face at the suggestion, “Kakashi won’t be late enough for us to consider taking off on him”

Gaara tugs on my hand, “We should just go”

I stand and look at Haku.

His brow is scrunched up in concentration: probably deliberating.

Sasuke runs his hand through his hair, “I’m with Gaara”

Shino studies the watch on his left wrist, “We won’t be missed”

That’s true. All the other classes are nearly empty. No one really bothered to show up in the first place.

I give Gaara a long look, “Go where?”

He deliberately shrugs.

I grin at him, “Anywhere but here, right?”

He blinks slowly at me, obviously finding the answer apparent.

Haku sighs dramatically, “Well, I suppose-“

Shika cuts him off, “Okay, we’re outta here”

~!@!~

We dump our book bags in Shino’s locker as we head out the Eastern entrance and go for the bus stop. We’ve managed to agree on going downtown but the part about what we’d be eating was still up in the air.

Haku made a show a making sure Kakashi-Sensei’s Vespa wasn’t in the parking lot before we were allowed to take off.

I almost died laughing when we got on the bus because Gaara didn’t bother to show his bus pass and proceeded to drag us all to the back.

Gaara sits smack in the middle of the back row. I sit on his right and Shika sits in the space between the window and me. Haku sits on Gaara’s other side and Sasuke sits next to him; Shino sits in a seat perpendicular to Shika and me.

Haku, who habitually doesn’t take the bus, seems to find it beyond amusing to find one of those young-adults free speech newspapers wedged in the space between Gaara and himself.

It definitely looks like it’s seen better days and Shika says so.

Haku ignores him and opens it up somewhere in the middle and declares to us, “Pick up lines”

Gaara peers at the paper and Shika rolls his eyes.

Haku pretends not to notice our overall lack of response and starts reading: “The word of the day is ‘legs’. Let’s go back to my place and spread the word”

I find myself laughing a little, “Oh, that’s lame”

Haku grins at me over the top of the paper before resuming: “How about you sit on my lap and we’ll see what pops up?”

Sasuke shakes his head, “Still lame”

Haku shuffles the paper: “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together”

I grin and Shika snorts, “Who would ever say that?”

Haku sticks out his bottom lip, “It’s cute”

Nobody says anything to that.

Haku shrugs and flips the page: “Great Reasons to be a Guy”

Shika groans, “God, no more”

We all ignore him.

“You can open all your own jars”

Sasuke smirks, “Except if your Naruto”

I scowl at him, “Funny coming from a Prima Donna”

“Hush!” Haku says, “… ‘Everything on your face stays its original color’ ”

Sasuke makes a show of looking at Gaara.

Gaara’s only answer is to brandish a pin near his shoulder that declares: ‘Real Men Wear Eyeliner!’

We all laugh at that.


Haku scans the page, “ ‘you are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes…’”
We all look at Sasuke and Shino speaks up for the second or third time today, “Obviously untrue”
Sasuke’d rather scowl then answer.

Gaara reads: “Gas, at either ends, is cool” in a monotone voice with a perfectly straight face.

We crack up so hard, nearly everyone on the bus, mostly elderly types, turn and give us disapproving looks.

Haku wipes tears from the corner of his eye while we stand to get off the bus, “And no one wanted me to read it!”

~!@!~

“You’re a vegetarian?” Sasuke seems to find it weird.

Shino shrugs and Haku muses out loud that he’s forgotten to tell Zabuza where he’d be.

Oddly enough, Neji chooses that moment to pop into my mind. I haven’t seen him all day and the though makes me vaguely uncomfortable. I’d have liked to know where he was but I guess I’ve temporarily lost the right to wonder about that.

We still aren’t officially back together yet…

Gaara’s back to holding my hand and I glance at him to take my mind off of things.

His tattoo’s wrinkled up faintly, the only way you can tell he’s frowning, and his mouth is twisted up in a way that makes him look frankly disgruntled, and that’s saying a lot since he rarely makes faces of any kind.

“What!?” I ask, completely concerned

Gaara doesn’t answer but his stomach growls loudly.

Shino and Sasuke, who’d started an argument on the virtues of eating properly from two different points of views, fall silent and Haku laughs.

Shika snorts, “This guy’s the only who seems to know hat the hell we should be doing”

I cut my eyes at him, “So what do we eat, smart guy?”

Shika shakes his head like I asked a stupid question and points to a place across the street, “Pizza”

I look at Gaara, who seems agreeable and then across to Sasuke and Shino who shrug, equally agreeable, at each other.

Haku smiles at Shika for an intervention well done. Shika, in turn, glares back at him and mutters under his breath, “…I’m a damn babysitter”

Haku never stops grinning and doesn’t bat a lash at Shika’s grumbling, “You probably love it”

~!@!~

Haku leaves with Shino sometime after we’re done eating because Shino has to go home and Haku needs to go meet up with Zabuza.

Gaara, Sasuke, Shika and I walk them to the bus stop and promise to see each other tomorrow.

Once they’re gone, Sasuke and Shika make a great show of trying to be civil towards each other.

When Haku is around, it’s much easier, seeing as how Haku gives Sasuke cooking lessons and has known Shika and me since high school started and we became inseparable; he manages being the mediator rather well.

Without him around, Sasuke and Shika spend a lot of time trying not to talk to each other, which is stressful to say the least.

Gaara, sensing the tension between the two, refuses to let me anywhere near either of them.

If this continues, we’ll have to split up early!

At a crosswalk, I get an idea, “I’m pooped; who lives closest?”

Sasuke doesn’t look my way but seems to answer exactly what I need him to, “Me; want to go?”

Shika raises an eyebrow at me behind Sasuke’s back, “I’ll see you guys later then”

Sasuke still doesn’t turn around, “No, you can come”

Shika snaps his head around to stare at him hard before shrugging and falling silent.

The sign across the street flashes and we cross, turn southwest up the boulevard we’re on, following Sasuke to his place.

I recognize the building even before we’re less then a block or two away. From down here, in broad daylight, you can see it’s really one of those cosmopolitan, tinted-glass, steal and concrete monstrosities that costs a couple hundred thousand to build.

Shika stares at it with a look akin to interest but Gaara seems indifferent to the glamour of it.

Sasuke nods to the doorman and we cross the lobby, people who have way more money then I can begin to imagine stare after us but look away discreetly when Sasuke notices them.

In the elevator, Sasuke scowls at his reflection in the gold-tinted metal.

I poke his arm, “What’s wrong?”

Sasuke looks at me and shrugs, “I’m surprised they didn’t maul me today; guess you guys scared them off”

Shika raises first one eyebrow, then the second and proceeds to roll his eyes dramatically.

Gaara stands motionless next to me.

Sasuke grins at my puzzled expression, “A lot of Baby boomers buy Itachi’s art. He’s getting so known that people are starting to try and go through me just to find out the weirdest little details about him”

My jaw drops, “No shit?”

Sasuke shakes his head and cranes his head to watch the numbers flash as we head higher up in floors, “Some 20 something girls at his University ask me questions all the time. They’re usually there when I come home in the afternoons. That’s why I always drive and take the elevator in the underground garage if I can help it”

Shika looks mildly sympathetic, “Tell them to screw off”

Sasuke laughs somewhat bitterly, “They’re head over heels infatuated with my brother and amazingly, aren’t scared of him. Do you think I have a snowball’s chance in hell of scaring them off?”

I shake my head, completely understanding. Itachi is a little, make that a lot, intimidating. It’s not an easy thing to try and seem scarier, there’s almost no point in trying.

We reach the top floor and the elevator doors open with a ‘ting!’

Sasuke walks out and pauses for a second. We’re all standing in the hallway starring at him.
He pulls his phone from his pocket and checks the time. A dark look passes over his features but I ignore it and wait for him to say something.

At length, Shika crosses his arms over his chest and starts to look impatient.

Gaara remains stonily silent at my side.

Finally, Sasuke shrugs, “My brother might be home around this time. Thought I’d warn you guys first”
Then, he walks off in the direction of his place like he didn’t just deliver a lethal blow.
I stand there for a second, wondering for the first time if this wasn’t all just a really bad idea. I mean, I, well, frankly, Itachi gives me the chills. The good and the really, freaking bad kind…simultaneously!
That cannot be good in any way, shape or form and I’m keenly aware of that.
Trouble is, there’s no backing down now, I suggested crashing here in the first place. Just because I dug my own grave by convincing everyone to chill at the lion’s den, didn’t mean I could just up and bounce.
Gaara’s looking at me and Shika, who’s already halfway down the hall with Sasuke, stops to turn and look at me. Sighing, I resign myself and catch up, Gaara bringing up the rear.
By the time I get there, Sasuke has already disappeared inside leaving the massive oak door wide open and Shika standing on the black and jade colored marbled entrance.
I toe off my sneakers and line them up with Sasuke’s. Shika does the same and Gaara scares the crap out of us both by swinging the door shut a little more forcefully then would have been necessary.
He looks at us inquiringly when we both glare at him and the echoes of the door ‘nearly’ slamming shut fades slowly.
Shrugging, he toes off his sneakers and I laugh at his sox because they match his scarf and mittens.
Standing just inside the hall, I try to peer into the next room, “Sasuke?”
I think I hear him answer me, but I’m not sure. I shrug at Shika and Gaara and we make our way inside.
I recognize the first living room, all contemporary black and bloody red furniture. I notice that there are more black and white stills hanging on the wall but I can’t put my finger on which ones are new.
Gaara’s interest seems peeked by the sheer amount of deep bloody red in the room.
Shika shoves his hands in his pockets and continues to the shorter second hallway with a window following its length into the kitchen.
Sasuke’s standing on the other side of the peninsula type counter, looking at something: turns out to be a small note.
Just to piss him off, I crawl over the counter to get to him but I don’t get the desired effect.
Sasuke just looks at me blankly for a minute before crumpling the note and tossing it carelessly in the direction of the trash bin.
It bounces quietly off the rim and doesn’t go in.
Sasuke doesn’t notice, “There’s food in the fridge and my room’s down the hall…I’ll be back, I’m going to change”
I give Shika a puzzled look and he just looks at the crumpled note.
Gaara watches Sasuke go with a look of slight curiosity, but you can’t really tell with Gaara anyway.
As soon as Sasuke’s out of the room, Shika casually ducks past me and grabs the note. He scans over it quickly and then suddenly tears it up.
“Hey!”
He grins at me but his face looks pinched, “Not anything you’d want to read, trust me”
Gaara opens the fridge and pours himself a glass of milk.
As I watch, he proceeds to climb onto the counter alongside me, remote in hand, and flicks on the in-wall TV to the right of the fridge.
Shika settles on a stool and I decide to go after Sasuke.
He’s pulling on a navy-blue tank when I muster up the courage to open his door.
We stare at each other for a minute, me standing just inside the doorway and him next to his walk-in closet door.
Sasuke smirks, “Remember what happened last time you were here?”
I scowl at him but refuse to let myself get angry. To prove that I’m over it, mostly, I stomp into his room, foregoing the invitation I was waiting for to come in and make a beeline for his bed.
I clamber on, almost drowning in the comforter and settle myself at the head of the bed.
Sasuke’s smirk widens slightly, “Trying to prove your not scared of me?”
I don’t dignify that with an answer.
Let’s see how Sasuke deals with a quietly angry Naruto instead of the loud, lively one that always plays right into his hands…
If I was feeling confident, then there’s not point now seeing as how Sasuke takes my silence as an excuse to continue and come closer, “Why’re you so scared of me?”
I glare at him, “Don’t be a prick. Wouldn’t you be a little apprehensive about a guy whose favorite pastime used to consist of trying to figure out what color bruises he could make your skin change to? You hafta admit, suddenly turning around and trying to be friends with me amounts to be a bit of a sick joke”
I snap my mouth shut when I realize how bitter I sound.
Sasuke pauses, at the edge of the bed and sit with his back to me, “I’m not trying to be your friend”
I stare incredulously at his back, my voice taking on an equally incredulous tone, “Then what the hell was all that about making a truce, agreeing to disagree and still be peaceful about it…are you actually up to something? Again?!”
Sasuke tilts his head forward until his chin touches is chest and says nothing.
I watch the way the muscles along his shoulders and neck move with the whole downward motion of his slump, the way his hair shimmers that odd deep-space blue in the half-light of the noonday sun coming in from two of his five bay sized windows. I stare at his gently curved shoulders, which are wider and deeper set then mine, but with paler skin that makes them look so much more delicate.
Sasuke is really very dangerous the same way Itachi is, he just hasn’t used it to his advantage the way Itachi does. That delicate, fey-like quality of their looks belies the fact that they are sharp thinkers and ultimately, controllers in any and all situations they are present in.
Itachi once said that manipulating others is really all it takes.
I muse this and simmer down. These are not sugar, spice and everything nice cookie-cutter thoughts so I better cut it out.
Sasuke straightens up and I plant my back securely against the headboard when I notice the firmly, resolute-like set to his shoulders.
When he turns to look at me, his face is thoughtful, “Are you really that stupid?”
I blink at him, “You might hurt yourself trying, but do you mind speaking on the same level as me?”
My sarcasm is brushed off and Sasuke turns fully to face me, his legs stretched out along the width of the bed, “They say boys mature more slowly then girls, right? So why is it, that I was already looking at you like that back then?”
I stay silent.
He makes an expansive gesture with his arm, “The way I see you, the way I always saw you, wasn’t the way I was supposed to. You pissed the hell out of me. When I couldn’t understand you, I beat the living daylights out of you to feel better. I felt better knowing you didn’t know what was wrong anymore then I did”
I’m getting mucho chills listening to this, but the serene way Sasuke is speaking to me is lulling me into a false sense of security. I take comfort in the fact that Gaara is bound to come looking for me at some point. He’s dependable like that.
Sasuke fists his hand loosely in the comforter and pulls and twist part of it into his lap, “I can’t be friends with you”
It is said so simply and honestly that I react, “Why the fuck not?”
Sasuke smirks, like he knows something that I don’t, “I never looked at you and saw a friend…even when we put up with this charade of friendship, what I saw in you wasn’t any different from what it usually was”
I pick up one of his two massive pillows and try to think this through. Understanding slowly dawns on me, but I shake it off easily, “Sasuke, you can’t possibly be serious about me, I mean Neji-“
Sasuke’s never looked at me like that.
That look has never been directed my way.
They guy did become an expert in torture and scare tactics from practicing on me back in the day, but he’d never used that face on me before.
Suddenly, I’m mad. Who the fuck does he think he is?! I’m freakin’ scared of him and every time I try to trust this asshole, he throws it back in my face. He’s making this out to be some kind of horror story where he’s the vampire whose going to kill me rather then let me escape.
I glare back for all I’m worth, “Stop fucking around with me. I’m getting sick of it and this is the only warning your going to get”
Sasuke seems more amused then anything. He is stronger, I concede, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let him walk all over me, again.
“Neji isn’t even speaking to you and your sticking up for him?”
I clench my teeth, “He’s for real. He’s always straight up honest with me unlike someone else I know and he’s not trying to hurt me or fight me every step of the godamn way”
Sasuke shrugs, “You hardly know him”
“Wrong”, I say, my voice rising steadily in pitch, “I don’t know you”
Sasuke shrugs again, “You really wouldn’t want to either”
I toss his pillow off the edge of the bed in my aggravation, “Wrong, asshole, if you’d just get serious for once and let someone in, people might start to actually get you!”
Sasuke snorts, “Has Neji ‘let you in’? Is he playing along ‘every step of the way’?”
I shrug, “What do you care about Neji so fucking much for? Jealous, much?”
Sasuke finally flares up, but I can’t decide if that’s a point for me or not, “What is so FUCKING good about him in the first place, besides that bullshit you said before?!”
Equally loud, I retort, “He never fucking hurt me like YOU did!”
We’re both breathing hard and starring each other down, but no more words come.
I’m suddenly overcome with the need to get out of here, go home to my small, homey apartment and got to freakin’ sleep. I’ll even skip picking up dinner if it means I can get out of here and be where I need to be sooner.
Defeated, emotionally, I slip off Sasuke’s bed, “I’m going home”
~!@!~
I had to fight tooth and nail to get out of that apartment alive. Sasuke may have been down for the count but Gaara and Shika certainly weren’t.
They take one look at me and Shika goes to cuss out Sasuke and Gaara checks me over till he’s sure that, literally, not even a hair as been harmed on my body.
Gaara may think that he’s as emotionless as a block of ice but he never showed more insight concerning human feelings as he did then.
After sitting me down in the front hallway, he called a cab and went to rescue Sasuke from Shika single handedly.
He then proceeded to glare Shika into silence, which I appreciated, what with the sudden headache I had and ushered us into the hall.
His plan was to send me and Shika packing in a taxi and had me promise to call him when I got home, which he also demanded of Shika who just grumbled under his breath instead of answering.
Then, he walked us to the elevator where I promised him I’d call and made him promise in turn to be careful about Sasuke.
In the cab, Shika doesn’t ask me what Sasuke did or said.
He stews silently in the seat beside me, our knees touching, which reassures me, and his head turned out the window, not looking at my reddish eyes or my flushed skin.
My stomach is boiling with pent up frustration and anger but mostly just pity.
Pity for myself, whose suffering by trying to pry open Sasuke’s half frozen heart and pity for Sasuke, who seems to be the villain in this whole thing, and really isn’t.
He’s just really, really bad at expressing himself.
The second or third greatest understatement in history…
However much Sasuke may have seemed honest, however, I can’t bring myself to take him seriously. Doing so would be worse then acknowledging his feelings…it’s be as bad as allowing them, even.
And ever since that talk I had with Haku about how important Neji is to me, I’ve come to respect the fact that there can’t be room for all these guys in my life equally.
Shika and Haku occupy a place in me that no one can replace; they own the ‘close-family’ section. Gaara is the closest to a brother as I’ve ever had and Shino is getting to be that best friend with the inherent understanding of my need to escape reality using my art.
The biggest spot is for someone that will be closer to me than anyone else…and that means that it can’t be just anyone, not to mention that there isn’t room for two.
~!@!~
When you experience something traumatic, you also experience shock along with it. To say that my shock quota had been fulfilled for the day was a massive, 9-ton understatement, competing in for second place right along Sasuke’s emotional problems.
So, when I step on a note Neji left me under my door, it takes me a long minute to realize what this letter implies: namely that our half-week long excommunication is over.
I can remember faintly leaning down to pick it up and starring dazedly at my name in his precise cursive and then just walking into my kitchen and calling Gaara to tell him I’m made it home safely. Then, I remember going straight to bed, letter still in hand.
I’d skip school tomorrow and read it…
~!@!~
TBC...