This can't be happening!

I am sorry for the time it took me to post this. *bows* As penitence I brought you an extra long chapter.... The cat is out of the bag as many requested... only the bag doesn't know... LOL... Please enjoy... and remember... I will keep on trying to bring quick updates... ok? Thanks and have fun!

12/25/07 Edited this chapter to my heart's content... sorry for the mega delay. The next chapter is here too!


Chapter 10: Congratulations, Mommy Dearest!

Tan fingers fumbled over stubborn pant legs as mortified azure eyes deliberately avoided knowing onyx. The blonde hopped around, standing stubbornly while pulling on his pants until finally he was able to pull them on with a triumphant cackle. A light chuckle assaulted his ears, provoking whiskered cheeks to turn beet red. With a pout, he turned around and presented his back to the other occupant inside the room.

“Teme!” he spat halfheartedly, lifting the soft black shirt that protected his skin from the harsh protection of the wire mesh. His arms and head entered easy enough inside the shirt but it was a bit tight across the stomach. When it was time to put on the wire mesh it got stuck. Frowning, he glared at the offending item as if doing so would get the unusually snug mesh past his slightly bulging belly.

‘There’s no friggin’ way I’m gettin’ fat! I’m not eating enough to keep me healthy, let alone get fat! I have free daily chats with the toilet for cryin’ out loud!’ he growled and gave it an extra hard tug that resolved his problem, at least temporarily.

‘I should let some inches outta' this, it seems. My chest appears to be growing too… Maybe I finally reached long awaited growth spurt... Yup! That's it! My growing spurt!’ He nodded, happy with the conclusion.

A poised raven sat on the bed lazily tying his sandals; feigning indifference as he studied his lover’s movements with keen interest. To an avid observer, Naruto’s relaxed stance told of a well-loved and utterly sated body, provoking a satisfied smirk to cross Sasuke’s pale features. His charcoal gaze took mental inventory of his lover’s body, realizing with a frown he was slowly filling out even if he didn’t seem to be eating enough for that. He eyed his lover's narrow waist and hips which were wider than he remembered while the blonde's arms and shoulders were filling out with muscle once again.

His mouth watered, remembering the afternoon’s games in the bathroom. He'd been stunned when he realized Naruto's apparent shyness and self-consciousness was real. The most surprising fact was Naruto’s embarrassment with regards to his body. It wasn't until he’d practically pinned his struggling lover into the ground using his chakra that Naruto gave in and practically yelled out the reason. He flinched, thinking of his lover’s mortified tears as he explained his ‘deformity’ as he called it. Naruto explained that he'd only realized its presence a few weeks back after a particularly strong bout of loving that left him feeling sore 'there'.

Watching his dobe wriggle and jiggle while messing around with his clothes was enough to provoke his ever increasing libido. The way he was moving around made him feel his dobe was tempting him and he was not one to refuse temptations like the one he posed just then.

Unable to keep himself away, he stood and crossed the room with long strides to gather his blonde bundle of fire against his tight body. A surprised squeak left Naruto’s lips as pale arms wrapped around his waist, working the tapes under his arms to make it less constricting. He gave a sigh of relief as the pressure let up but soon changed his mind as strong arms pulled his hips closer to his lover’s need. He closed his eyes, biting his lip to still the moan of pleasure that threatened to escape him as warm lips nibbled his neck.

“It’s time to go, Teme.” Naruto groaned throatily, blushing to the roots of his golden hair as he leaned forward; not really attempting to escape.

Naruto’s slight resistance fanned the fires of his possessiveness to unimaginable heights. The beast inside him clamored to teach his lover about priorities and the errors of resistance. With a warm, deep chuckle that sent erotic shivers coursing through Naruto’s body, he allowed one hand to slide under black shirt and mesh wire while another traveled south to knead his lover’s aching flesh.

“You should know already. There’s always time for this, dobe.” He whispered latching onto a tender lobe as Naruto’s body arched under the skillful assault of his mouth. The blonde’s deepening indigo gaze and his flushed expression were all Sasuke needed to reassure his inner self.

“Sas’ke!” his blonde huffed with excitement, melting against his body as his resistance was temporarily forgotten.

“Fuck them, they can wait. I can’t and I won’t.” He muttered as he undid their pants quickly, removing only the essentials. What he had in mind would not take a lot of time, but it would help them both relax even more.

“Sas’ke, we’re la…te!” Naruto tried to remember what was so important about being early as his lover pushed him against the bedside, pushing his pants down to his ankles and spreading his cheeks wide. The cold air made him shiver and he hissed, feeling Sasuke’s heated flesh probe around.

“What were you saying?” Sasuke asked with a suppressed smile, knowing his lover was past all rational thinking as was he. Guiding his hard flesh over Naruto’s special place, he dipped inside to moisten his cock, making them both whimper with pleasure.

“I love this extra place you have here… dobe. I don’t know why you were so shy about it. It’s warm, deep, and it fits me like a glove… better yet… it is all mine… remember.” He whispered heatedly against his lover’s ears, grinding his shaft inside and outside, coating himself with the proof of their excitement. Naruto whimpered incoherently, fisting the bedcovers as he struggled to quench the fire in his loins.

Burying himself to the hilt he bit Naruto’s neck sharply, almost drawing blood. Naruto gave a keening cry as he climaxed making Sasuke smile. His cock throbbed with each one of Naruto’s contractions and he bit his lip to stall his own.

Withdrawing from his spent lover, he turned the blonde around to face him desperate to leave his mark all over him. His angry cock jutted forward, glistening with their juices. Lifting Naruto’s legs, he guided himself towards his lover’s tight ass. In the plain light of mid afternoon, he was able to study Naruto’s ‘deformity’ as he’d termed it.

The pale pink opening overflowed with an opalescent mixture that was his and Naruto’s. It filled him with awe and lust, like every part of his lover. His hand wrapped around Naruto’s turgid length and he started to pump his lover teasingly. He would drive him almost to the edge and he would stop. This he repeated until his blonde was thrashing crazily, begging and threatening incoherently.

Sasuke grinned, using the tip of his cock to spread their overflowing juices over the contracting muscle that begged for his attention. He pushed the head inside until he was past the ring and then he would retreat. Naruto cursed piteously, but he held back. He was waiting for something.

“Damn it… Teme!… I don’t care what you do… You are more important… always… please… Sas’ke… Come inside me… please…” were the desperate cries of his lover as he thrashed against the bed cover. Nodding with relief, he changed the angle and slowly sank inside his lover until their bodies met. Naruto trembled under him, feeling stretched and full.

Impatiently, he shook his hips to get his lover to move without yielding another piece of his ego. Sasuke chortled seeing this and set a pace that would take them to oblivion in the shortest amount of time possible. They had waited enough. His blond keened sharply, arms and legs wrapped around his raven’s neck and waist as they soared as one over the Uchiha complex.

Half an hour later they were finally progressing in their efforts to get dressed. Naruto had decreed he would dress in a separate room because he would not stand for another ‘delay’. Sasuke chuckled and let it slide, knowing well that if he insisted his dobe would allow as many ‘delays’ as he wanted.

It was a miracle he’d been able to go for this latest bout of lovemaking. His dobe had been surprisingly passionate both during their bath that morning and then later in the afternoon. His inner muscles were pleasantly sore still; it was surprising to find his first time as an ‘uke’ to be extremely pleasurable instead of painful. His heart fluttered, remembering how well his lover had prepared him for it using his mouth and fingers to stretch him. It was a true feat and it showed the extent of his lover’s caring and his own love. He had not only allowed his dobe to top him but he’d enjoyed it too.

‘Only for you, Naruto. Only for you.’ He wondered happily, his half-hard cock evident proof of his thoughts’ direction.

His blonde chose that moment to enter the room adjusting the side pack to his waist. Lifting his gaze, he noticed with chagrin the growing bulge in his lover’s pants. Blonde eyebrows rose silently, signaling surprise and approval.

“What’s the meaning of this, Sas’ke? It seems my efforts to satisfy you were not enough to do the trick. Shall we try once more? Who knows, maybe if you were to bottom for me again you would be completely sated this time?” he purred lazily, sliding on his flack jacket with a provocative twist of his hips as he approached his dobe where he stood near his clothes’ chest.

“So much energy! Is this the man that only half an hour ago slumbered trustingly between my arms after his climax? If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you were completely recovered!” Midnight eyes teased gently taking hold of his lover’s hips to bring them closer to his aching desire.

Blushing, Naruto bit back a moan and ground his groin against the heated flesh with a malicious grin, making the sable-haired man before him hiss with half-closed eyes.

“You are a good one to talk about stamina. How do you feel back there, huh? Ready to give it another go?” crystalline blue eyes filled with naughtiness as he patted his avenger’s buttocks with a heated glance.

“Tease! Keep it up and you’ll find yourself once again staring at the ceiling while I push inside your body.” He whispered erotically against a sensitive ear, his hand moving to palm the blonde’s crotch. Grinning impudently, the blonde danced away, knowing their limits and the Hokage’s patience should be wearing thin just about now.

“Hentai! Last time I checked, you were completely sated! The last one was completely unnecessary. Stop it…” he groaned softly, half turning to capture those torturing lips with his own.

“Oh, but that was a whole half hour ago. I find myself suddenly itching to try my hand at making your body weep again. I’ve discovered I am quite partial to your uncommon attributes, minx!” He grinned, giving his package another slight squeeze. Unable to stop himself he surrounded the smaller nin, bringing him flush against his chest. Hugging him tightly, he nibbled on the exposed neck while his lover shivered with anticipation.

“Pervert!” Naruto whispered with a blush before pulling his beloved down for a soul stirring kiss that left them both breathless and needy.

“Sas’ke… We’ve gotta go… Tsunade and Kakashi’re waiting, ne?” he whispered against his lover’s lips, trying to make him see reason while fighting his own need. It was unbelievable. The more they made love, the more he wanted him.

“I’m a pervert only for you, Dobe. Remember, I…” Sasuke’s words died in his throat as his eyes made contact with Naruto’s. With a defeated sigh, Sasuke finally let go of his lover. He knew he was stalling to avoid their departure but it was a mission they had all accepted and it would not go away just because he wanted to keep his lover safe.

“Teme… come on! Everything will be fine, I promise!” Clear blue stared earnestly into coal black eyes before wrapping his arms around his lover and dropping little kisses all over his porcelain face.

“Dobe, Tsunade’s waiting.” The raven warned softly against petal soft lips, his arms surrounding the slight, tan body. His mind was still reeling from the impact of their lovemaking. His soul stirred inside his chest, warning him that this man before him was his most precious person. Even if he never revived his clan, even if he died the last of his bloodline, it was unimportant. He would do anything to keep his blonde safe and by his side. His arms tightened reflexively as his thoughts turned darker.

“Oi! You say Tsunade’s waiting but you still haven’t let go!” the blond teased lightly, heart soaring with happiness at the obvious possessiveness. He nuzzled his face against his lover’s flack jacket, relishing the scent and warmth that surrounded him between Sasuke’s arms.

“Dun’twanna” He grumbled rebelliously against golden hair, burying his nose to breathe deeply Naruto scent, tightening his arms. Naruto’s heart went out to his lover as understanding dawned on him.

“Come on, Teme! I’m not going anywhere! There’re too many things to be done! Either you or I will become Hokage and there’s the Akatsuki’s ass to be kicked into submission, remember? Not even death will tear me away from you until you get done with me… ok?” he promised pushing his forehead against his lover’s until their noses touched and they made eye contact.

“Now, I gotta go see Tsunade to calm her nerves before she pulls the plug on my mission, ok? Remember to wait for me at the gate, ne? I must meet Tsunade, so I must leave early… I am sorry, but… Anyway, see you at the gate, ne? Oh, and thank you for one of the most wonderful days of my life.” he grinned, standing on tiptoe to drop a light kiss on stained cheeks. Sasuke pouted but nodded, looking away.

“Hurry off, Dobe. You are too slow.” He grumbled softly.

“I would love to hurry but if you don’t let me go, I won’t be getting anywhere, Teme.” He teased his flustered lover who let him go abruptly as if burnt.

Quiet giggles filled Sasuke’s ears as Naruto finished zipping his flack jacket and securing his back pouch before paused on the doorway to hoist his pack.

Leaning forward, he tugged on the leather straps, belly muscles tight and ready to bear the expected weight of the overstuffed pack. To his surprise, he almost fell on his ass when the thing flew towards him with astonishing ease. Confusion marred his features as he settled its weight over his back, surprised at how light it seemed.

‘Huh?’ he turned to look at Sasuke with a suspicious glare but his lover was busy feigning innocence as he too shouldered his own pack. Sighing in defeat, he stepped back to his lover, pulled him down to his level. Obsidian eyebrows rose with curiosity as the blonde glared holes into him.

“Uchiha, Sasuke… The Pack… You… Jeez!” He let go of the reprimand he felt brimming inside his gut and with rare insight recognized this as his beloved’s effort to keep him safe.

Sasuke flinched a bit, expecting fireworks. Instead, his golden lover grinned softly and hugged him tightly. “I love you, Teme. Thank you!” Stepping back he smiled and performed the hand signals that would teleport him out of the house. Standing in the middle of the living room, the baffled raven shifted and smiled self-consciously.

“I’ll be damned! At least he wasn’t too angry… Gotta practice stealth if I want to protect him and his pride!” he made his way out of the Uchiha district with a satisfied grin, thinking of how much pride Naruto had given up for his sake.

Meanwhile, a black and orange blur raced over the rooftops towards the tower. He’d chosen a midpoint between the tower and the Uchiha district. It would not do to exhaust his meager chakra reserves with a transportation jutsu if he could help it.

‘Gods! I gotta get there on time! Tsunade’s gonna kill me! Stupid Teme! Distracting me with his kisses…’ he growled under his breath as he hurried up the stairs and into the tower’s top floor. Pausing to gather his wits and his breath, he stared at the closed door with trepidation.

‘Please! If there is somebody out there who watches over me, hear me out! Please let me go in this mission! I need to go on this mission if it’s the last thing I do! Please!’ he begged silently, approaching the door. Straightening his back, he marshaled his resolve and knocked firmly. A distracted voice granted him permission inside.

“You took your own sweet time getting here, gaki. I expect you will have a suitable excuse ready.” Tsunade stared from her desk at her dearest shinobi with a malicious smile. Naruto had the grace to blush and gulp.

“You see… I had to pack and went home and then Kakashi… um then Sasuke… I mean, the pack… um…” he flailed miserably. Suddenly there was light in his brain as the menacing aura around Tsunade worsened. “and… and… Kakashi-sensei never told me to be here at a fixed hour! I packed everything, tied loose ends and came here directly.” He answered truthfully, thinking back on his day.

“Whatever. Come on, let’s check you out to see if the Uchiha’s being a worrywart or you are being a fool.” She muttered and wavered slightly as she stood. As the afternoon progressed and Naruto failed to show up for his check up, her mood darkened considerably. Seeing this, her wise assistant Shizune approached her discreetly and offered her a cup of her favorite beverage: sake. Her mood had improved a lot after dosing herself with half a bottle of her precious drink.

‘She is drunk?’ he wondered with glee, thanking his lucky stars. ‘This is gonna be easier than I thought! Kyuubi! Kyuubi! I need your help! Kyuubi!’ he closed his eyes dipping inside his mind for the familiar touch that had been missing for the last two months. A flicker of awareness followed by nervousness and a sudden withdrawal illustrated Kyuubi’s most recent contacts. He frowned wondering why and what was fur-faced fox hiding from him.

‘Oi! You better not ignore me this time! Kyuubi!! Damn it!’ Silence. A painful knock in his head told him he’d ignored his tipsy Hokage for far too long.

“I said lay on the examination table, open your flack jacket, lift your mesh, keep the shirt and stay still, Naruto!” she hissed angrily. Filled with dread, he sat on the table, his nerveless hands fiddling with his flack jacket while he racked his brain looking for a way out.

‘Kakashi! Kyuubi! Anybody! Help!’ his mind reeled with the implications of Tsunade’s check-up. He knew he was not fine; denial could only get him so far. There was something really screwed up with him, he was sure but this was the screwiest time to find out what was wrong.

Obediently, he took off his jacket and lifted his mesh. In doing so, he exposed half his activated seal that now was prominently etched on his skin. Using his reserves was the only way to operate at a normal level. That was another signal that not everything was peachy in Kyuubi-land; that and the eerie silences that were driving him off the wall. Tsunade frowned noticing its presence.

“I haven’t ordered you to use your chakra yet, gaki. Tch, hyperactive kid!” She rolled her eyes and pushed him to lie on his back. “Now, stop using your chakra will you?” she requested softly and he acquiesced, fighting the roiling nausea that rose to his throat as soon as he did. She started to check his vitals: pulse, heartbeat, temperature, blood pressure, and chakra flow, making him shiver with apprehension. He was sweating profusely as it was, but apparently her findings were normal enough not to start her screaming at him just yet.

‘Kakashi where are you?’ he thought desperately.

“Ok, now, take off your mesh and shirt, open your pants and expose your lower belly. I need to check your chest and the seal. Have you been having problems with your chakra flow recently?” She asked distractedly, her hands glowing green as they went over his pale form.

‘Other than the fact that it’s nonexistent?’ he wondered almost hysterically, eyeing her glowing-green hands start with his neck and chest before slowly moving on towards his belly. His heart skipped a beat and attempted to hammer its way out of his chest as he suddenly had the urge to flee. He tensed, closing his eyes. Tsunade paused noticing the sudden peak in her patient’s blood pressure.

“Naruto?” she asked stopping for a second her examination.

“Naruto! I thought you would be done about now. We have to go!” Kakashi appeared out of nowhere scaring the hell out of Tsunade and Naruto, who sat up ready to attack. Once he realized who it was, he sagged against the pillows, dizzy with relief.

“Damn it, Kakashi!” Hokage screeched, turning around and forgetting about her patient.

“Gomen! I thought this was already over, Hokage-sama. We must depart at 4pm or we will be behind schedule.” He reminded her with utmost respect and seriousness. Tsunade alarms blared inside her brain.

“I’m not finished here yet, Kakashi.” She countered. There was something weird going on here. Naruto’s vitals were completely normal but his chakra flow was not. Just now his blood pressure peaked suspiciously and his response was too sluggish.

“Are his vitals abnormal?” he asked tensely in an effort to distract her when he noticed Naruto’s pale and clammy countenance.

His vitals were fine, just a bit higher than usual. His temperature was ok too, if on the low side. Same with his blood pressure, heart rate and pulmonary function. It all could be summed up as somebody on his way to complete recovery after a life threatening trauma as his. Tsunade shook her head with a frown as she checked her notes.

‘I shouldn’t have drunk so much sake. There’s something wrong with this picture but for the life of me I can’t figure what it could be!’ She thought with annoyance. Still, there was something teasing the edge of her mind but she was not sure what. Still there was no medical reason to stop Naruto from leaving with the rest of his team.

“Here’s an idea, Hokage-sama. Since you don’t seem to be able to pinpoint where the problem lays and we are pressed for time, let’s take a blood sample and run some tests. If his vitals are as fine as they seem to be, it should just confirm your diagnostic. If not, you can always send medicines and instructions with Tanuki, right? It shouldn’t be too complicated.” Kakashi bargained wisely, his visible eye a comical curve as he discreetly signaled Naruto to straighten his clothes and leave the table.

“Ok. I think that would be the best course to follow. Hey! Naruto! When did you… I still have to take that blood sample!” she said and much to Naruto’s chagrin started to prepare the test tubes. “Come on, gaki. Lift up your sleeve to expose your elbow. Hurry up so you can leave.” She instructed, herding him towards the table and preparing his arm to take the sample.

Kakashi opened his mouth to protest about the time and Tsunade straightened, raising an eyebrow.

“Either I get a blood sample or Team Kitsune stays until I see fit! After all, I am the Hokage.” she reminded Kakashi with a pleasant smile. Naruto’s gaze went from one to the other, wondering who won this particular bout. It was scary to watch two powerful nin butt heads over his welfare.

Naruto’s arm shook while she cleaned the spot with a cotton swab and plunged the needle to get the blood on the test tube. He watched in captive fascination as the rich dark red liquid left his veins with every heartbeat. The red froth accumulated and he started to feel faint, so he closed his eyes and counted frogs.

‘Thank God Sasuke’s not here! Otherwise, I would’ve definitely ended up staying!’ he shivered as Tsunade took off the needle, pressed some gauze into his arm and bent his elbow.

“There. The results will be ready by tomorrow morning. I run a complete metabolic panel and some other tests on this sample. I will be sending you a letter with the results and further instructions under Hyuuga’s care, Kakashi. Now, you can leave.” She dismissed them officially and followed them to the exit.

“Godspeed to both of you. Please return in one piece, gaki ok?” Her hands wrapped unbidden around Naruto’s shoulders and she hugged him hard before letting him go. She cleared her throat to call Kakashi’s attention to herself. “You know what will happen if…” she let the threat unsaid when she saw understanding and resolve in the jounin’s eye as he nodded. “Good.”

“Tsunade-baba! Don’t worry so much! It’s Naruto you are worrying about, you know! I am the #1 surprise ninja! I will succeed! You’ll see!” he smiled, scratching his head with embarrassment. Nodding, she bade them goodbye and watched with worried eyes as both disappeared towards Konoha’s gate.

“Oh, gaki… The fact that you are our #1 surprise nin. That’s precisely what I am so worried about, Naruto. You don’t seem to realize how important you are… Onegai, Yondaime, keep him safe.” She whispered staring anxiously into the stony features of Konoha’s hero. A soft knock interrupted her thoughts and Shizune entered the room.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked softly, setting down the latest missives and documents that needed her boss’ review and signature.

“I feel like I am missing something important.” She commented distractedly, still deep in thought. Shizune tried to gain her Hokage’s attention to no avail. After offering her access to a barrel of vintage sake if she answered her questions on what was wrong, Shizune realized it was possibly a very intimate matter she didn’t want to discuss with anybody.

‘Maybe she is sick?’ She wondered, watching her Hokage hold her head dizzily.

Sighing, she moved away from the window and pressing the bridge of her nose she went to pick up the sample, feeling the press of a massive headache on its way. Eyes closed, she stumbled on her way back to her desk. Sitting heavily, she reclined on her chair.

“Here, take this and have it checked thoroughly before tomorrow. Metabolic panel, Glucose, Thyroids, Blood count and platelets… you know, the works. If there’s anything at all there I need to know. Um… it’s a personal matter, so please handle it with utmost secrecy. Nobody is to know who gave it to you and the report comes directly to me as soon as it’s finished. Understood?” She smiled nervously, avoiding eye contact and stared at her hands. Tsunade hated to keep secrets from her assistant but since Naruto was involved she couldn’t trust anybody but herself.

Shizune frowned at the instructions but nodded, pocketing the little test tube. She picked up the tray she had brought, the sake bottle was only half consumed.

‘Why, Tsunade-sama drinks more than this in two hours! What’s wrong with her!’ she eyed her master nervously before turning to leave.

“Shizune?” Tsunade called softly and her assistant turned with a worried expression on her face.

“Yes?” she asked wondering what to do if her Hokage was sick.

“I am hungry. Have one of the guards go to Ichikaru’s for a bowl of Kitsune Udon with Abura-age and tell them to put fish cakes and carrots on it too. I am craving something different today.” She sighed, hugging herself to stave off the cold gathering inside her soul. ‘Naruto, please be safe.’


“Man, I thought you were not gonna show up!” Naruto groused as they made their way into the gate. Kakashi lifted an eyebrow, noticing his ex-student’s increased energy and stamina. He stopped pulling Naruto to face him.

“You don’t have to keep up the façade. Starting now, if you must rest you will rest, understood?” Naruto sputtered but nodded.

“Either you tell us or Sasuke will be in charge of measuring your chakra levels and informing us when you need to rest. It’s your call.” Naruto opened his mouth to protest but Kakashi’s arched brow reminded him of his promise. Grumbling he nodded, accepting this new affront to his manhood.

Satisfied, Kakashi continued his way towards the waiting team. Reaching them, Kakashi debriefed the team noticing with satisfaction their eagerness and dedication to the mission. Naruto jumped in the middle, happy to be among his team mates after so long. Sakura messed up his hair with sisterly affection and Sasuke watched with apparent detachment. When Sakura did not remove her hand from his dobe, he grabbed his arm and pulled him away, effectively removing him from her grasp.

“Oi! Teme! Stop that!” Naruto yelled with typical bluntness.

“We’ve got a mission to finish, dobe. The earliest we start is the earliest we finish. The earliest we finish is the earliest we return to Konoha which is the earliest I get to…” he drawled impishly. Naruto’s face was a work of art as he realized the direction of Sasuke’s arguments.

“Arg! I got it, I got it! I’m moving! Come on!” he stammered nervously; using his hands to stem the flow of perversion that was sure to follow. He was still not at ease with the thought of having their relationship out in the open.

‘Youth!’ Kakashi sniggered. A smile crossed his features as he matched Sasuke’s relaxed features and satisfied smirk to the strict realization of his orders to Naruto this morning.

“Oi, Naruto!” he called and the team stopped. “You did a great job on your first mission! Congratulations!” his eye turned into an inverted comma as both Sasuke and Naruto understood the meaning behind his words. Naruto’s blush was so bright he looked fevered while on the other side, Sasuke’s smirk couldn’t get any wider under threat of being considered an all out smile as they made their way out of Konoha’s gates.

Shizune hurried along the tower’s corridors, fear and worry etched in her features. She had stopped to give the Hokage’s dinner order to one of her guards and hurtled downstairs to find the tower’s laboratory. It was the best they had. Even more complete than the one in the hospital’s facilities. Barreling down the stairs, she quickly entered the laboratory and went directly to the head technician.

“Tomoe-san!” she startled the man so badly he almost dropped the beaker he held.

“Shizune-san!” he gasped, trying to bring his heartbeat back in control. He looked at the distraught woman in front of him and discreetly vacated the other technicians from the premises. This was obviously an emergency that required careful handling.

“What’s wrong? How can I help you?” he asked, noticing the woman expression was so fearful she was almost crying as she struggled to breathe.

“I need you to… run some tests for me… Um… Here… Take this… Please… um… run a complete battery of tests…you must do so now. I can’t wait!” she insisted, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. The man eyed the test tube suspiciously. It had no markings, no label, no information. Just an innocent tube filled with blood. He shivered.

“Take it easy, Shizune-san. I will do the tests as soon as possible but be mindful, that some might take a while longer.” He tried to reason with the flustered female.

“No! I need them for tomorrow morning at the latest! It’s vital that I get those then!” she held him in an iron grip and shook him. He had to understand she needed that yesterday! If he didn’t do what she wanted she was gonna sock him one, in like three seconds.

“Ok. But, I will need some information regarding this sample. Do we know if this blood belongs to animal or human, female or male? Any known health conditions? Diagnostics?” he asked trying to sort which kind of tests the woman in front of him wanted.

Shizune bit her lip, thinking of the food she ordered for her Hokage. She knew what he wanted was reasonable. He needed that information to know if the tests were adequate, to know what to look for. She had no idea what her Hokage wanted to know.

‘You always state the sex, age and health conditions of the patient… we know those…’ an insidious voice reminded her.

‘True!’ she sighed with relief.

“Female, over 25 years old. No chronic illnesses, not taking medications unless sake counts.” Her eyes widened with a gasp as she realized her own words. She had identified her patient! Hokage-sama was going to kill her if she knew. She eyed the technician, wondering if he was truly irreplaceable or not when the man took hold of her shoulders.

“Easy there, Shizune-san. I will keep the confidentiality of the patient. That’s my oath. Never fear. I will have the Hokage’s results tonight at the latest even if I must do them myself!” he promised solemnly. Shizune nodded and straightened. Tomoe-san turned to finish the tests he was running, leaving the sample to the side. Shizune stiffened.

“Tomoe-san?” she called sweetly. The man stiffened, realizing she had not left the room.

“Yes? Shizune-san?” his voice trembled as he turned to see the forbidding expression of the Hokage’s assistant.

“Start now with the sample I gave you.” She ordered/

“But, these other tests…” he tried to explain.

“To hell with them. I want my tests done NOW!” she demanded. Pushing her face into the fearful man, she grinned threateningly.

“Tests, now. If you so much as breathe anything about this, you will die a very painful and slow death. Understood?” the man nodded helplessly.

“Good. Get back to work.” She said and hovered over him while he started to work.

It was well after midnight when Tsunade finished signing and reviewing all the papers Shizune had brought her in the morning. The headache had decreased after eating the surprisingly good Kitsune Udon as recommended to her by Jiraiya. It definitively did wonders for a hangover headache. She stretched and yawned wondering how fared her blond gaki.

10 miles away, Naruto struggled to stay awake during his shift. They should have been able to travel farther than this but due to his diminished chakra reserves they were forced to camp at this point. The moment he had tried to push himself over his limits, he had become horribly dizzy. The two vultures watching him with eagle’s eyes noticed immediately and called for a stop arguing presumably that Sakura needed to rest. Sakura had protested for all of 2 seconds which was all it took for her to make eye contact with his them: the vultures.

At the end, Kakashi made good on his promise and sicked Sasuke on him. After that, every 2 hours they would stop without fail, regardless of his protests to the contrary. Even now, he had to set his foot down to claim his right to bear his share of the watch. It was not fair. He had to have watch duty just like any other. Even if he was so sleepy he could barely keep his eyes open. He curled upon himself and shivered, his grainy eyes and heavy eyelids making it harder and harder to keep awake until at last he succumbed to sleep.

“It was time already! I was gonna hit him over the head if he didn’t fall asleep soon.” A dark shadow groused as he approached his target. White hair glinted in the moonlight as a soft chuckle was heard.

“Can’t blame him, can we? After all, he’s Konoha’s number 1 surprise nin, ne?” the white haired man watched neutrally as the Uchiha avenger lifted his lover carefully and wrapped him in a warm blanket settling him deep between his arms.

“I will continue guard watch now, Kakashi. We will do as planned, dividing guard duty in 3 segments as before, but he won’t know about it. Deal?” he raised hard eyes towards his sensei. He would do this regardless of what his sensei thought. Even if he had to guard both Naruto and his own watch, he would not let him overexert himself.

“Naruto… such a proud nin! Yeah, let’s do so. I will talk to Sakura when it’s time for her watch. Keep a tight eye on him for us, ok? He is very important for a lot of people but I think you already knew that even if he still hasn’t realized it yet, ne?” he teased lightly before disappearing. Sasuke hugged his lover closer, letting the night scents and sounds roll over his senses while mixing with the soothing scent that was all Naruto.

Early dawn tinged the skies with a fiery palette. Pink and golden clouds chased one another over heavenly highways. The cicadas chanted their morning song as the day became warmer. Inside Konoha’s tower, a body lay sprawled over a desk-full of papers. Soft snores filled the office as the morning progressed until a mischievous beam of light hit the sleeper squarely on the face. She winced.

“Tur’it ‘ff… Tur’ it ‘ff!” a pained voice whimpered, burrowing deeper into her hard bed, trying to hide from the daylight invasion threatening to vanquish the shadows of her sleep. Her shoulders protested and caught fire as her numb arms came back to life. Tiny pin pricks licked her senses as she fought to straighten up. Moving with painful slowness, she leaned back against her chair, cursing at her own stupidity.

‘Sleeping on your desk is always a bad idea, you idiot! It hurts!’ she grimaced, massaging her hands, arms and shoulders into a semblance of normalcy.

A polite knock made her jump on her chair and she whimpered. “Come on in!” she grumbled, massaging her shoulder and stiff neck. It was Shizune with a wide smile.

“Good morning, Hokage-sama! Did you sleep on your desk again? That’s not a good idea, you know. Up, up. I have your breakfast right here. It’s only some hot milk and toast, since I reckon you won’t want to eat anything harder until later.” The petite woman bustled around straightening the office and shooing her Hokage into the rarely used dinner table. Curious, Tsunade lifted the cover of the tray and true enough, there was milk and toast. Her stomach rumbled and she grimaced.

“I don’t want this, Shizune. You know I don’t do breakfast.” She started to protest and was rudely cut off by her bossy assistant.

“Nonsense! That was then, this is now! From now on, you will have to break fast every morning and eat three balanced meals. I already discussed your new eating requirements with the cooks and they agreed we must provide the best for our Hokage.” She continued before sitting in front of her with an expectant grin.

Tsunade eyed her assistant with disbelief, wondering when the teasing would be over. Deciding she didn’t like this aspect of Shizune’s personality, she pushed the plate away. “Bring me some sake and stop this nonsense at once!” she ordered imperiously as she moved to stand from the table.

“No way in hell! I am not bringing you another ounce of alcohol!” Shizune squared her shoulders valiantly, knowing this would be a source of contention for her hardheaded Hokage. ‘Even now, somebody’s gotta make her realize it’s for her own good!’

“What’s the meaning of this Shizune! I said I want sake, like every morning and I expect to receive it like every morning! What’s wrong with my request?” she asked too dumbfounded to squash her assistant yet.

“You can have all the sake you want until after the happy event but not before! You are not supposed to drink in your delicate state, Hokage. A woman of your intelligence and knowledge should know the basics about fetal development, you know?” she hissed reproachfully. Taken aback, Tsunade suddenly wondered if maybe the stress of her position was starting to take its toll on her because for the life of her she couldn’t understand what her assistant was babbling about.

“Fetal development? Happy event? Delicate state? What is this drivel you are spouting, Shizune! Have you gone mad?” she raged trying to make sense out of something that had none to begin with.

“This! Yesterday’s sample, remember?” Shizune brandished a sheaf of papers near her Hokage’s nose. “I know I was not supposed to read this, that I was to hand it in immediately after Tomoe-san finished with it, but he was beside himself with happiness for you! Of course I wanted to know, I deserved to know after all the care I’ve put into your well being!” she pointed her finger at the Hokage’s ample chest, her shyness completely forgotten.

“You shouldn’t have kept silent. Even if you are unmarried, Konoha will welcome your child with open arms! Congratulations, Mommy Dearest! In about 8 months you will have a child to call your very own! Oh, I can’t wait to see whom it resembles! Jiraiya maybe? Oh and don’t worry about any thing, even if the testosterone levels are a bit high, they will go down as the pregnancy progresses. I consulted with a few specialists in risky pregnancies and they all said it was normal of a woman of your age.” She smiled proud of herself.

“Also, your progesterone is in adequate levels just now, so it shouldn’t be a problem!” she finished happily, dreaming of baby clothes, cute little toys and sweet babies to cuddle with. Ecstatic, she pulled Tsunade’s suddenly lax hands into her own and rubbed them to warm them, waiting for a reaction from her master. Silence was all the response she got for the first few minutes making Shizune worry.

‘Surely she was aware of the possibility of pregnancy even at her age…’ she bit her lip as Tsunade’s shoulders started to shake convulsively.

“Tsunade-san… Are you all right?” she asked softly.

“Who are you calling pregnant, Shizune? What the fuck are you talking about? That sample was not mine, for Chris’sake!” she raged weakly as her abused mind tried to wrap around the concept that her beloved gaki, her #1 surprise ninja had given a new meaning to the concept with this one. Surely there was a mistake! He couldn’t be pregnant.

“At your age, denial is to be expected, Hokage-sama. I will bring you a tray with warm tea later.” Shizune backed off muttering congratulations as she quickly left the room before a nearby vase exploded where her head had been just seconds before.

Ignoring the voices outside the door, she made short work of locking it before she turned her wrathful gaze towards the innocent-looking sheaf of papers resting on top of her desk. Taking a deep breath, she sat down in front of the culprit of this morning’s woes.

There, as big as life was a positive to HCG of 65.4 IU/L, which in lay man terms meant it was high enough to indicate Naruto’s been pregnant for about 2 months, give or take a week or two. She mulled this bit of information, cursing her gaki’s stupidity and hardheadedness. She should have paid attention to the Uchiha, rather than allow herself to be lulled by a sense of false security in the blonde’s miraculous healing capabilities.

As Shizune had reported, his results showed high testosterone levels which were normal for a guy and adequate progesterone for an early pregnancy. The resulting hormonal battle that would ensue would fit perfectly with his current and reported symptoms.

‘The baffling issue here is how the hell did he manage to get himself pregnant? He was born a boy; that much is a fact, for I was there to witness his birth. Male pregnancies should be impossible even with Kyuubi inside him. How is it possible for him to stay pregnant even now?’ she asked herself repeatedly until her head pounded with a vengeance.

Her mind reeled with the consequences and ramifications of this new development and the effect it would have in their mission. Her first thought was to have him return immediately to be able to closely monitor his health. If anything happened, she wanted to be near him to make sure his life wouldn’t be at risk. She moved to her desk to write the missive to Kakashi. She dipped the brush into the inkwell before she paused.

‘Naruto’s part on the mission is vital. He is part of the diplomatic convoy. He is the only one who can guide the teams into Marsh Country. His body is strong and Sasuke, Kakashi and Sakura are with him. If I pull him from the mission I risk the outcome. Damn it!’ she pounded her fist against the desk as angry tears of impotence rolled down her cheeks. She was torn between protecting her beloved gaki life and furthering Konoha’s wellbeing.

‘Stop this nonsense! You know your duty is to Konoha. Start thinking as Hokage, not a fearful older sister. Clear your mind of doubts and think rationally what is better for Konoha’s wellbeing.’ She took a deep calming breath and expelled it as she realized the path to be followed. Her hands tightened around the brush and only when she heard the wood snap did she realize what she was doing. ‘You know Naruto must stay on this mission even if it means risking the growing life inside him. Face it!’

“Forgive me, Naruto.” She whispered into the lush morning air. At this stage, the baby was just a dream inside her blond gaki. If he met the enemy and survived, he would never know for sure what happened but his life would be in danger.

Yet, she needed his unique skills and magnetic persona to work its charm for Konoha’s benefit. It was really a difficult choice: Recall her gaki and keep both the child and the blonde safe or allow fate to take its course and risk losing all of them. She must not forget the Uchiha’s fate was tied to her blonde as well. If anything were to happen to Naruto and he was told of her part on the whole fiasco, her choice would surely gain Konoha a new and terrible enemy: Uchiha, Sasuke.

‘What should I do?’ she wondered. ‘Think Tsunade, think!’ Her eyes filled with tears as her trembling hand penned Kakashi’s missive. The Hyuuga would be arriving soon for his instructions and she had a lot of thinking to do before this. There had to be a way of keeping both Konoha and Naruto safe, for both her and Sasuke’s sake.


******************************

Naruto: Um... does this mean... what I think it does?

*Oresama Sasuke dances around wearing a 'Call me Daddy' shirt.*

Nekochannya: *clears throat.* What do you mean?

Naruto: Does this mean I topped Sasuke during the bathroom scene that was not posted?

*Oresama Sasuke stops and pales.*

Nekochannya: *Looks to the side guiltily* Um... yeah...

Naruto: And he liked it, I gather?

Nekochannya: *Blushes* Yeah... he did...

*Oresama Sasuke glares at both of us, looking murderous*

Naruto: Then I can call him Sassy'UKE now, can't I?

Nekochannya: *gasps as Sasuke strangles the life out of her while
Naruto starts to dance.* Uchiha's dont bottom for anybody!

Naruto: Yo! Yo! Yo! Who's you daddy now, Sassy! Come on! Shake that booty! I may be pregnant but you were my uke and liked it!!

*Oresama Sasuke stops choking Nekochannya, lets her drop and goes to Naruto, picks him up and takes him away: Let's me remind you of just who is it you are calling Sassyuke...*stops and turns* Next time I'm on bottom you better make it good... not just a mention. Got it? Uchiha's dont lose!