Where is God?

“Where is God?”
By: Innerchild

Disclaimer: don’t own Naruto and co.

A/N: I’M BACK AND TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! I’M 18!

Anyway, I believe COCO bean 1319 wrote an essay. I hope I got your name right. Anyway, I would LOVE to see your essay. You can put it in a review or e-mail me at darkwriter15 at hotmail dot com


Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.

-Buddha

Chapter Eight
Strange Disease

Nadine closed the door behind her quietly and made her way into the living room. Everything was the way she had left it, even down to the watering can tipped over on the floor. Except, there was now a person sitting on the couch with their back turned towards her. For a moment, Nadine thought it was Naruto, until she walked closer and saw the frames of her husbands’ glasses.

“Nadine? Why were you talking to that boy? Especially, after I told him not to come near our family again,” Asked Kazuma as he grabbed onto her hands, and brought her to stand in front of him.

His wife stood there awkwardly, as if she were a child about to be reprimanded for something she knew she would get in trouble for. She shifted her eyes back and forth over the room and over him as he stared at her. After a few moments of silence, he squeezed her hands in what was supposed to be a reassuring manner, but ended up making her jump.

“Why was he here? Did he want to see Naruto?”

Nadine looked him in the eyes and tried to say her next words without faltering.

“I-I don’t know,” she mumbled, knowing that he could tell that she was lying. She looked away from him and began to fidget, knowing that a blush was starting to appear on her cheeks.

Kazuma could see that she was lying. He didn’t know why she was being untruthful with him though. She had never disobeyed him before. So why was she protecting some boy she barely knew? Did it have something to do with Naruto?

He knew that his wife would go to great lengths for their son. She had disagreed with him in the past on certain things when it was concerning Naruto. So she may hide something from him now if it was about their son.

“You know why I don’t want that boy around here, don’t you?”

Nadine didn’t look up as she shook her head. The hands around her own tightened again and she found herself raising her head to look at her husband’s face.

“He’s a sinner, Nadine. He believes that there is nothing wrong with being gay, which is probably what he is. We wouldn’t want him to put those kinds of thoughts into Naruto’s head. He’s young and impressionable, and we wouldn’t want to put him in a situation where he could be tempted by something like that. Even though we both know he’s not like that, he could still be lured into it.”

Nadine’s eyes widened slightly at his words. She didn’t know what to believe now. She wanted to believe her husband, partly because she wanted things to be normal. She wanted them to be a family, knowing that if her husband wasn’t right that their family would be torn apart by this. But… a part of her knew that it wasn’t up to her to decide what her son wanted in life. And it wasn’t up to her husband either.

She had always thought that Naruto was interested in girls and a good Christian. And what her husband was saying now made some sense. Naruto could have been tricked by that boy… no matter how genuine he may seem, he could be hiding his true self. Even though Naruto seemed happy…

“And what would you do if our son has already been put in a situation like that? Or if he really does like other men?” She found herself asking him, wondering what he really thought. Did he just not like the idea because of what was in the bible, or because the notion of two men being together disgusted him?

Kazuma stood up abruptly and pulled his wife towards him. With her hands still held in his and pressed between their bodies, he looked down at her with narrowed eyes.

“What do you mean by that? Even if he thought that he liked other men, it’s not true! It’s just a stupid impression that someone else put into his head. And if he can’t see that then we’ll get him help!” He told her firmly, his eyes set on hers’.

“Help?”

“Yes. That’s what we would do,” he said distractedly as he let go of her. Even though he had been expecting something to be wrong with their son, he didn’t think it would be this serious. He thought it might just be stress from school or depression. Things that could easily be taken care of with a pill.(1) But this… this was so much worse.

He began to pace around the room as he wracked his brains for a place that could both help and offer the outmost privacy for them.

“There are places that he can spend time in and get those silly thoughts out of his head with therapy and other methods. Like a hospital. Like a hospital with chores and punishments for when they don’t cooperate,” he told his wife.

Nadine didn’t know what he was talking about until he said “punishments”. Her head shot straight up and she watched her husband stride about the room with a look on his face that she had never seen before.

“You mean… like aversion therapy?”(2) She asked him in a quiet whisper that was filled with fright. She had read stories about the cruel practices that some doctors used on “willing” patients to turn them straight. Some had died from those “punishments”, which were not punishments at all, but the so-called treatment itself.

Kazuma didn’t notice the slight tremor in his wife’s voice. He just continued to stride back and forth in his little area. He didn’t think that she knew exactly what the therapy included, so he just nodded his head, knowing that she was watching him. That one single movement made Nadine snap.

“How could you say that? That’s not treatment! That’s dehumanizing a person! It’s like putting a person in a concentration camp! You want our son to go through something like that?!” She yelled at him, her hands balling into fists at her sides.

Kazuma stopped walking for a minute, surprised at her outburst. He tried not to show it though and continued to pace around the room. When he answered her, he didn’t look up from the floor.

“If it would help him, then yes. I would do anything to help my son.”

The moment those words came out of his mouth, Nadine walked up to him and stopped him in his tracks. Before he realized what she was doing, his face was already turned and his cheek was burning with an intense pain.

“That’s not helping him! That’s not helping anyone! How can you even call yourself his father after saying something like that?” She continued to scream in his face. How could she even think for one second that he was telling her the truth? As she replayed the words in her head, she realized how senseless they were. They were the words of someone who was scared of change or of something they didn’t understand and didn’t try to understand.

Nadine herself was scared of what was to come. Like how would her son ever get married? Or have children? She might not have any grandchildren, but she wouldn’t lose her son over something as… trivial as this! If Naruto was happy being with… a man, instead of a woman, then she would just get used to it. She loved her son too much to question whether or not she should love him just because of his sexual preference. Like her husband was doing now.

Kazuma stood there in shock. He touched the side of his cheek and flinched. The frame of his glasses had cut into his skin and blood was starting to drip down the side of his face. His wife just watched him, not caring in the least that he was bleeding. That was the least of his problems at the moment.

“Right now, I don’t even know if I can call you my husband,” she told him in a hushed voice, her eyes brimming with tears.

Nadine walked out of the room, leaving her husband alone with his hand still pressed against his cheek and a stunned look on his face.

XXXXX

Sasuke walked through the front door as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb Naruto if he was still sleeping. He crept into the living room and saw that his friend was indeed asleep. Naruto was curled up into a ball on a large chair, making odd breathing noises that sounded like a cat purring. He smiled slightly to himself as he looked down at the boy, thinking of ways to wake him up.

But the more he watched him sleep, the more content he became with just gazing at him. Sasuke decided against waking him up and opted to watch his chest rise and fall with every breath he took, and the way his face was relaxed and peaceful in sleep.

As much as Naruto wanted to keep on sleeping, he felt something nagging at him to wake up. The more he was pulled out of his sleepy state, the more his senses could tell him what was bothering him. And now he knew what it was. Someone was watching him.

He blinked his eyes open, expecting to either see Jiriaya or his mother. But the person standing before him was taller than his mother, but shorter than his uncle, and had dark hair. No one in his family had dark hair like that. The only person he could think of was…

“Sasuke?”

Naruto shifted in his bundle of blankets and tried to sit up as Sasuke put his book bag down. The teen came and helped Naruto get up, since he was having so much difficulty. He maneuvered himself in the chair, sitting directly behind Naruto with his legs on either side of the other boy’s body. Naruto rested his back against Sasuke’s chest and gave a big yawn.

Sasuke’s hands rested on his knees, although he felt like wrapping his arms around the boy in front of him, and shoving his nose into his hair. After taking a look at the blond’s hair though gave him second thoughts. Sasuke had forgotten that it rained that morning and judging by the way Naruto’s hair was frizzy and messier than usual, he’d guess that he got caught in the storm.

“Sasuke,” Naruto said again, “What are you doing here?”

The dark haired teen took a deep breath, the faint scent of Naruto’s shampoo filling his nose, and then exhaled slowly. He knew why he was there, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to tell the other boy his reason. He didn’t know how Naruto would react if he told him that he missed him, that he had been worried when he didn’t show up for school, and how he had unknowingly walked to his apartment and had an interesting talk with his mother, which then led him here.

“Sasuke,” the teen growled out sleepily as he didn’t get a reply again.

Sasuke shook his head, deciding to go with the truth he said, “… I stopped by your apartment after school.”

Naruto turned his head sharply to look over his shoulder at Sasuke, his neck groaning in protest.

“Why?”

Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his bangs, his eyes on the floor. He didn’t know why he was telling Naruto the truth, except for the fact that he was bad at lying. And he also had a strange urge to tell him the truth, even if it betrayed his feelings for the boy. Whatever those feelings were.

“I wanted to see if you were okay, since you didn’t show up for school today.”

“Sasuke…” Naruto whispered in anticipation, his thoughts already racing with possibilities that may have occurred between Sasuke and his parents. Did his dad see Sasuke? Was Sasuke angry when he didn’t find him at home? Who told him that he was here? Where was his mom-

“I talked to your mom,” Sasuke told him, skipping over the details, “She asked me to tell you a few things.”

Naruto turned back around and slumped against his friend’s body again. He closed his eyes and asked, “What’d she say?”

“She wanted me to tell you that she lo-”, Sasuke stopped, finding that he couldn’t say the words. Even though he was just relaying a message, it felt like he was actually saying ‘I love you’.

“She sends her… love,” he said instead, “And that you can come home whenever you want to.”

Sasuke felt the other boy’s body relax just a little bit against him, and slowly placed his own hands on Naruto’s shoulders.

“Oh, and she also wanted me to tell you… happy birthday.”

Naruto smiled sheepishly. He hadn’t really thought about his birthday today, and it was one of the most important ones he would ever have. He was eighteen today.

“Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?”

The blond shrugged his shoulders and said, “Forgot, I guess.”

Sasuke whispered, “Idiot,” into his hair, though when he got that close to him, he didn’t know, nor did he know when he had finally given into the temptation to wrap his arms around the boy’s body. He didn’t care though, seeing as Naruto was returning his embrace.

XXXXX

It was after school, and Zabuza yawned tiredly as he flipped through the last page of a test he was grading. After marking off points for missed answers, he put the final grade on the paper and put it in with the rest of the stack. Just as he was about to pick up another test a knock came from the doorway.

“Yo,” Kakashi said with a small wave as he stepped into the classroom. He leaned on one of the desks with the side of his hip and gazed lazily at Zabuza. The U.S. History teacher merely grunted at him in greeting as he started to check another test.

“So, I’m not going to be here on Thursday and Friday, and was wondering if you could baby-sit for me.”

Zabuza looked up at him and said, “Where are you going?”

“Eh, I have to go to some stupid conference thingy. And they’re sending me some sub that I don’t know, so I don’t want my shadow to be stuck in there with nothing to do.”

The dark haired man at the desk stopped flipping through the paper to give his colleague his full attention.

“Shadow?” He asked hesitantly.

“Yeah. This week Haku was supposed to come in and shadow me on those days, but this conference was unexpected, and I highly doubt he wants to go with me. So, I thought it would be a good idea for him to see how another teacher teaches… history.”

Zabuza’s face turned red at the mention of the younger man’s name. His thoughts traveled back to when Haku kissed him a couple of weeks ago. He didn’t know if he could handle having the younger man with him for two days, hours on end, watching his every move. It was already bad enough that he had to see him two days out of the week, every week.

“Zabuza?”

Zabuza looked up at Kakashi and asked, “Is there anyone else that he can stay with?”

Kakashi gave him a half smile as he answered.

“Well, Genma is also going to the conference, leaving you and Gai. I don’t know if the boy can handle being with Gai for two days. Most of his students can’t handle him. So, can you take care of him for me?”

The U.S. history teacher closed his eyes briefly, wondering why he was getting himself into this. He knew that he would probably regret this. Something would go wrong. Whether it was Haku making another move, or himself giving into temptation… something would go wrong, and he knew it.

“Sure.”

XXXXX

Later that night, as Zabuza was taking a shower he found his thoughts in forbidden territory, and his body betraying him.

God, this is so wrong, he thought to himself.

Not only was the person he was thinking about another guy, but he was also six years his junior. And Zabuza did not make a habit of jerking off to boys that were barely legal. But he was extremely frustrated. Both sexually and mentally. The boy had been messing with his head for weeks now.

Zabuza shifted under the spray of water as it grew lukewarm.

Everywhere Zabuza went, there he was. And he always looked good too, which just made everything worse. Not to mention the fact that he was flirting shamelessly with Kakashi… who flirted right back. The bastard.

He knew that Haku was just trying to make him jealous, and hell, it was working apparently. However, the very idea of him being with his coworker made his blood boil.

But a mental picture of Kakashi was not something Zabuza wanted to see while jerking himself off. Instead, he imagined his hands running through Haku’s long silky hair, down his chest, past his navel and-

The phone rang, and Zabuza groaned in frustration. He turned off the water and grabbed the towel hanging close by. Two more rings, and he was out of the shower, his hair plastered to his face and water dripping down his chest. He grabbed the phone as it began to ring for a fourth time and held it up to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Zabuza,” a familiar voice said on the other end.

Zabuza cursed under his breath, wishing that he had looked at his caller ID before picking up the phone. As he heard the other person on the phone say his name again, he felt guilt creep into his stomach.

“Yes?”

“I want a divorce.”

XXXXX

Hinata stayed in the hospital all night, much to her displeasure, and left early the next morning. The only good thing that came out of her stay there was that Sakura had refused to leave her side all night. Even though visiting hours had ended at nine, the pink-haired girl argued with the nurses until they gave up, and let her crash on the couch in her room. Even though it wasn’t necessary, Hinata found it… endearing.

Her mom had wanted to come pick her up in the morning, but Hinata told her that Sakura had offered to give her a ride. She had asked about Hanabi, and her mother told her about making an appointment with their doctor later in the day. The only thing Hinata wanted her mom to have to worry about right now was her little sister. And all Hinata wanted to worry about was herself, for a change. She was concerned with Hanabi, but she didn’t want to stress herself out over it.

“Hinata,” Sakura said as she waved a hand in front of the girl’s face. Hinata snapped out of her thoughts and blinked up at the slightly taller girl in front of her.

“Sorry, just zoned out for a minute.” She said with a light blush.

Sakura gave her a weird look as she opened the passenger door for her.

“You know, I can open doors on my own, and drive myself home. I’m not a little kid,” Hinata said sarcastically, even though there was a little bit of truth in it. She didn’t like being treated like she was in a wheelchair or was handicapped. But since this was Sakura, she didn’t mind as much as if it had been Neji or her mom.

“Well, too bad.” Sakura said, sensing the slight discomfort in her friend. She knew that the girl wasn’t used to being pampered, but she was worried. None of this would be happening if… if Hinata would take better care of herself. But the last thing she wanted to say was that Hinata didn’t know how to take care of herself. That would push her away.

Once when they both in the car, Sakura turned to the passenger side and looked at her friend.

“I’m not here to take care of you, Hinata. I’m just here to help you.” She told her seriously, her voice softening on her name.

Hinata felt her heart beat quicken at the sound of her name on the other girl’s lips. She had heard it countless times, but she had never heard it said like that. It has almost sounded as if Sakura were talking to… someone she loved. Someone she loved more than just a friend. The very idea of that being possible was ridiculous, though. Hinata knew that, but a part of her hoped that it was true. It was strange to actually wish for something like that, but Hinata decided not to dwell on it.

“Let’s go home.” Hinata said, a smile directed at her friend. Sakura smiled back.

XXXXX

(1) I’m not saying everything can be taken care of with a pill, especially something like depression.
(2) I’m pretty sure a lot of you know what aversion therapy is, but if you want an explanation go to google and type it in. It will give you true accounts and stories of what people have gone through in that type of therapy.